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Does he like me? Should I give up on him?

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  • February 19, 2019 at 7:25 am #280723
    Soph
    Participant

    Hey guys I’m 16 year old female lately I’ve just been confused in the area of relationships and whether I should just “go for it” like they always say you should.

    basically about a year ago one of my peers lets call him ted caught my eye in the school canteen. He looked me up and down so basically checked me out and I was really confused because I hadn’t spoken to him in a LOOONG time. So curiousity got the best of me and I kept looking at him to see if he was still looking at me and he WAS. So I basically started flirting with him through eye contact idk. A few months go by and I just fell for him. And here’s what confuses me:

    a little background on Ted – all I know is a few people have called him a fuckboy or manwhore but he’s a really nice person.

    I get why he’d look at me for like a while as a joke and then stop but it’s been over a year and it’s still happening? What does it mean? Why is he doing it? At some point his Friend (boy) was like if I had a friend who liked you what would you do I asked who it was and he said it was TED but afterwards he said it was a joke. Also one time his friends asked if I was single and I said yeah and he said I can be your man and I said no. It was a joke obviously but idk

    Also his friends had a speaker with love songs on it and he sang them to me from a distance like full eye contact BROOOOOO IDK WHAT ANY OF THIS MEANS

    and the last thing is my friend (a girl) said that he called me cute but does NOT like me and she always reiterates that he does NOT like me and she knows I like him

    I keep getting mixed signals so I’m not sure if he likes me or if he’s messing around.

    I’m not the type that just does whatever I want with confidence so I dont let myself say anything or make it obvious until I’m 100% sure he likes me then I’ll talk to him but it’s bad cause it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna say anything soon. I’m losing patience tbh and I really. Want. Him.

    So my question to you guys is what do you think I should do, wait it out? Or give up? Also do you guys think he’s just messing around and doesn’t like me or????

    Idk I just need help cause I don’t want to waste my time thanks in advance for any comments :)))))

    kind regards,

    a confused teen

    February 19, 2019 at 11:28 am #280883
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Serife:

    I think it is important for “a confused teen” or a confused any person of any age, to have clarity, to know what is going on.

    “It was a joke obviously but idk”- better know, better stop guessing and being confused by mixed signals, trying to figure out what is going on.

    Why not ask Ted what you need to know?

    (I bet it is scary to ask, but how else will you know what you need to know…?)

    anita

     

    February 20, 2019 at 3:28 pm #281073
    Andrea vezhesa
    Participant

    Dear Serife,

    From my perspective,if you really want to seek the answer, there is no other way but to ask. I mean, you should think to yourself of “what’s the worst that could happen?”. Otherwise, you’ll be hunted by the unspoken answer.

    By looking at my own story and while reading yours, perhaps you could say that im the boy (Ted). I lied to my friend, even my self, that i do not like the person, because im not so sure about your answer.

    Okay short story. So, i was really fell into this person, and we had good memories. However, because of “unclarity” and mixed signals, i never give my self a chance to speak my feelings with her.You should know: boys are afraid of uncertainty too.

    People used to call me fuckboy and so on, i never afraid of asking girls out, but for this time, because the feeling is real, and i’m afraid of  rejection and uncertainty, Those answer never came to me– yet still hunts me.

    And finally, while you guys still have a chance (both single or etc), and if you afraid of asking him, just clear the signal first by making some gesture back to him. i mean he sang ;). Hopefully this will clear out all the blurry barriers, and if he felt the same way, he will do the rest.

    You should know that Boys vet everything when it comes to real feelings, and KEEP IN MIND, “what’s the worst that could happen”.

    Regards,

    Boys.

    *note: sorry for grammatical errors, if any, im not native speaker.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Andrea vezhesa.
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Andrea vezhesa. Reason: Error appeared. new user to this forum, sorry
    February 21, 2019 at 5:33 am #281145
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Serife:

    Would you like to respond to the two replies you received on this thread?

    anita

    February 21, 2019 at 7:02 pm #281297
    Soph
    Participant

    Well guys I guess I’ve come to yet another dead end a new girl came to our school and she hangs out with me and he’s been asking my friend for her Snapchat so I guess he doesn’t like me :(((( your answers really did put a new perspective on the way I see him as a person. The things people say about him are just assumptions and we happen to walk the same way home maybe I’ll ask him if he’d wanna walk again but it seems near impossible for anything to happen sadly

    thank you so much for your responses I was worried I’d get no answer :)))

    kind regards,,

    a grateful teenager.

     

    February 21, 2019 at 7:08 pm #281299
    Soph
    Participant

    Thank u for the perspective i think I might actually be straight up and make gestures like he did but I really don’t know what to do any suggestions???

    Also the idea of asking him is TERRIFYING I know his friends and if they find out I like him and that he rejected me they won’t ever let me live it down and I couldn’t even be friends with him after that

    I don’t want to lose him entirely but I can’t stand not having clarity is really stressing me out

    so anyways I just want to ask if you have any suggestions on letting him know I like him without having to directly tell him???

    February 22, 2019 at 6:00 am #281351
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Serife:

    You are welcome. Here are my thoughts regarding your original post:

    “He (Ted) looked me up and down so basically checked me out… I kept looking at him  to see if he was still looking at me and he WAS”-

    -let’s say he did look at you up and down and for some time because he liked the way you look. But it doesn’t mean he liked who you are as a person, only the way you look. Also, teenage boys and men like to look at women they consider to be good looking, they look at a lot of women, every day. This means that you are likely one of many girls and women that he looks at every day or every week.

    “his Friend (boy) was like if I had a friend who liked you what would you do I asked who it was and he said it was TED but afterwards said it was a joke”- if Ted is not shy, if he normally does approach girls he likes, he wouldn’t need to tell a friend to tell the girl he likes her.

    Maybe the friend meant that he himself likes you. Maybe he referred to Ted because girls find Ted because he knew you like Ted or that he knows lots of girls like Ted.

    “Also his friends had a speaker.. he sang them to me from a distance like full eye contact”- I learned this some time ago: I was in an audience while a speaker was on stage, looking at the audience, in my direction. It looked to me as if he was looking straight at me, individually. What I found out later was that to the person to my left,  to my right, in front and in back of me, to all four (and to others next to them) it looks like the speaker is looking straight at them, individually.

    It is similar to watching a person on TV, if the person on TV looks at the camera, to every person watching the TV, it looks like the actor is looking at them directly, individually.

    “my friend (a girl) said that he called me cute but does NOT like me.. and she knows I like him”- reads to me that she talks to you about Ted because she knows that you like him.

    In your last post you wrote: “I just want to ask if you have any suggestions on letting him know I like him without having to directly tell him?”-

    my answer will depend on what you want from Ted. You wrote in your original post: “I really. Want. Him”-

    -want what is my question?

    anita

     

     

    February 22, 2019 at 11:35 am #281395
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi, Serife.

    Sadly, the only way to have certainty is to tell him. What if he doesn’t reject you? Even if it feels unlikely that he might accept, is it impossible?

    Whenever I approach interesting women, I try to have an outlook of curiosity: tell my crush and be curious of the response she gives me. Try not to wallow in the possible consequences too much. Whatever is going to happen is going to be interesting and exciting.

    Perhaps you could find someone to talk to about this. Perhaps your parents or some school social curator could help you get over your fears.

    Rejections are painful, but no-one is safe from rejections. If you won’t be rejected now, you will be rejected countless times in your life. If you do get rejected, it will be a helpful experience to help you learn to get over rejections in the future.

    February 22, 2019 at 3:35 pm #281443
    Soph
    Participant

    Thanks for all the responses guys I’ll update if anything does happen

    February 22, 2019 at 3:45 pm #281445
    Soph
    Participant

    Dear Anita,,

    your  post gave me a whole other perspective these signs I was supposedly given could’ve Meant nothing in the bigger picture, and a lot other girls in my school probably experience the same thing from him.

    Your post struck me with sadness and disappointment  but it also made me accepting of any outcome that I may face as a result of this crush. Even if he didn’t like me the feelings I had for him brought me joy on more than one occasion.

    As for his friend joking about ted liking me I still to this day have no idea what that was about no one I MEAN NO ONE knows that I like him and it was Really out of no where, but it really could’ve been his friend messing with me or that his friend liked me cause I could tell ted had nothing to do with it he was among the group and seemingly had no interest in the conversation had.

    And reffering to the speaker thing he well and truly could’ve not been looking at me I really don’t have a clue.

    And finally what I wanted was to have a relationship with ted

    To conclude this post once again I come to you with the question what do i do? I don’t know whether I should act on this crush or not?

    Kind regards,

    serife 🙂

    February 22, 2019 at 4:02 pm #281447
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Serife:

    You asked whether you should act on this crush or not.

    My answer: I don’t know. You wrote that you want to have a relationship with him.

    For something good to  happen as a result of this crush, for the purpose of you not getting hurt because of this crush, you need to know what you want, as specifically as possible. Therefore I ask: what specifically do you mean by relationship?

    anita

    February 26, 2019 at 1:03 am #281851
    Andrea vezhesa
    Participant

    Dear serife,

    Im agree with mandelbrot’s replies. Soon or later, you will be faced with another fear of rejection. If you do not act on this, based on my experience, the same fear will come over again until you overcome it. Im not saying that you need to talk to him directly. But im saying that you really need to figure out what you wanted, its either go or leave.

    And if you have the decision, make sure you get the clear picture of your desires. List out the move that you need to make, to finally increase gradually to reach your goals. Silly move are fine–nothing is perfect. Slow move also fine, at least you will be closer to him.

    If i were you, and truly wanted something, ill find my way to seek it. Both “go or leave”, they have the risks and also have their own way of “fear”that you, soon or later, will be faced with.

    However, the decision is up to you. Aren’t you curious to feel what you’ve wanted this whole time?

     

    regards,

    a boy.

     

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