Dear liss:

It is interesting how you refer to a man with whom you had a supposed loving relationship,  as the violent creature  who did the following violent things to you:

– “He ripped my heart out of my chest a second time”.

– “he has dug his claws into me yet again”.

– “This man destroyed me”.

You asked for “some type of guidance right now, I am not strong enough alone”-

No wonder you are not strong enough, having had  your heart ripped out of your chest twice and claws digging into you.

He dumped you in Oct 2019, saying he fell out of love with you. In Dec he told you that he had feelings for another woman for a very long time, and in April 2020, after a separation of four months or so,  he texted you that he is sorry. As a result of this text, you are worse than being “back at square one”-  you “spiraled a few steps back”.

My input: this guy is not as powerful as you feel that he is: he didn’t really reap your heart out of your chest, not literally and not figuratively. He is a young, immature man who is not ready for the type of relationship that you need. I understand that your feelings are intense, but don’t be fooled by your feelings: this guy is not a super power with claws digging into you, ripping your heart out of your chest and causing you, with one text, to spiral a few steps back.

Relax best you can and think of this guy as .. a guy, just a guy, not more powerful than you, a girl. Do you see where I am going with this?

anita

Hi Liss,

It sort of sounds to me like the relationship he left you for didn’t end up panning out, so now he’s back with his tail between his legs, seeking the last person who found him desirable and didn’t reject him. He may be contacting you because he misses you and has regrets OR it may be because he wants to use you as a Band-Aid to cover his pain from the most recent right now so he’s telling you what he knows you’ll want to hear… especially if the breakup just happened. If you know you don’t want him back, you should probably just not respond. If you do respond (as I would because I have a hard time NOT responding), just keep your guard up and don’t fall for any sweet words. It’s possible he’s only saying them because of the emotional state he’s currently in due to rejection, and if he does mean them, he needs to prove them with action over time before he will deserve another chance (if you should decide you want to give him one).