Home→Forums→Relationships→Do I leave my partner to travel
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April 11, 2017 at 11:28 am #144601
JessicaParticipantA long story cut short do I split up with my partner to see Australia?
Last year I got fed up of day to day life being the same old. Rainy English days, working a job I don’t like with no idea what I wanted to do as a career so I decided there and then to book Australia for a year later and save up.
A few months down the line I met an amazing man I now don’t want to loose, we talked about him coming with me and he really did think about it but relality is 6 months down the line he’s decided it’s not for him right now. He has told me to go still and supports what I want to do but the reality is I don’t want to walk away to find out the grass isn’t really greener on the other side like I’m expecting it to be.
My options are now that 1 I still go and break up with him which is a hard reality when you think you’ve met the one
2 I put away the money saved, put Australia on the back burner and focus on building my career now that I’ve decided what I want to do.
The relationship is only early days so it may flourish and we may decided to go somewhere together (we both don’t want to live in England) and at some point holiday to Australia. Or at some point the relationship may break down and I will still have the money and whatever more I save to go if we do split up in the future.
April 11, 2017 at 12:23 pm #144611
AnonymousGuestDear Jessica:
I vote for staying in England, do the relationship, postpone Australia.
Reason: it is going to rain on your parade (in Australia!) thinking you may have just rejected the possible love-of-your life for the trip. To go on a long trip like that, it takes giving up on everything in England, and it doesn’t read to me that you are ready to give up on this man.
anita
April 11, 2017 at 1:19 pm #144617JessicaParticipantHi Anita
I do think that is the way I’m favouring right now. I think I’m just scared of the relationship flourishing which really is what I want but then not see Australia at all and maby I’ll regret not going.
The main thing I wanted to do in Australia is see the east coast. Living out of a backpack and staying in hostels isn’t something I really ever looked forward to anyway. I thought about going to see the east coast for 6-8 weeks but even that does not feel right, right now.
my main worry is having regrets I.e not going, ending up pregnant or with a house and not being able to do it even if I wanted to.
April 11, 2017 at 7:18 pm #144655AnonymousGuestDear Jessica:
I think I misread your original post. I thought the trip to Australia was for six months or a year… how long were you thinking to be in Australia originally? Is the 6-8 weeks a shortened stay that you came up with, as a compromise?
The length of the trip is important in making the decision, if shorter, it would make sense to take the trip; if very long and even open-ended, then it would be a different matter.
anita
April 12, 2017 at 1:29 am #144689
JayJayParticipantI agree with Anita. If it’s a shortened trip, then go. If he’s not there when you get back, then he was never meant to be the one and only. Six to eight weeks isn’t a long time to be away from someone.
However… You say you have now got a handle on what you want to do as a career. You could concentrate on building that aspect of your life up, as it can only help in the future, whether you stay in the UK or go to another country. As you say, you can keep the money saved for a future trip anyway.
April 12, 2017 at 1:42 am #144691JessicaParticipantMy original plan before I met him was to go for a year maby 2 and see where that lead. I wouldn’t go on a working holiday visa for less than a year as you only get 1 visa.
my 6-8 week idea is an option for further down the line if the relationship flourishes so I still see and do what i wanted to do.
April 12, 2017 at 10:38 am #144737AnonymousGuestDear Jessica:
The reason difficult choices are difficult to make is that there is some loss whichever choice we make, and so, a possible regret in the future. So, you look at the situation and make the best choice you can. If your partner is a decent guy, no abuse on his part, then it would make sense to postpone for now a 1-2year trip to Australia, even a 3-6 months trip would be too long for a relationship to be likely to survive such separation, especially in an early stage.
Thing is, there is no way for us to guarantee results. It is possible that the relationship will not last, but you can’t possibly know it at this point (given he is a decent guy, no abuse).
You can’t prevent and eliminate the possibility of regret. If you make your choice when calm, over time, accepting the risks, then it is possible to not have regrets in the future even if it doesn’t work out, because you know you made the best choice at the time, knowing what you knew then.
One more thing: you mentioned pregnancy: you can guarantee not getting pregnant using some methods, what is it, 99% guarantee?
anita
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