Home→Forums→Relationships→Do I leave my partner to travel
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Anonymous.
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April 11, 2017 at 12:23 pm #144611
AnonymousGuestDear Jessica:
I vote for staying in England, do the relationship, postpone Australia.
Reason: it is going to rain on your parade (in Australia!) thinking you may have just rejected the possible love-of-your life for the trip. To go on a long trip like that, it takes giving up on everything in England, and it doesn’t read to me that you are ready to give up on this man.
anita
April 11, 2017 at 1:19 pm #144617
JessicaParticipantHi Anita
I do think that is the way I’m favouring right now. I think I’m just scared of the relationship flourishing which really is what I want but then not see Australia at all and maby I’ll regret not going.
The main thing I wanted to do in Australia is see the east coast. Living out of a backpack and staying in hostels isn’t something I really ever looked forward to anyway. I thought about going to see the east coast for 6-8 weeks but even that does not feel right, right now.
my main worry is having regrets I.e not going, ending up pregnant or with a house and not being able to do it even if I wanted to.
April 11, 2017 at 7:18 pm #144655AnonymousGuestDear Jessica:
I think I misread your original post. I thought the trip to Australia was for six months or a year… how long were you thinking to be in Australia originally? Is the 6-8 weeks a shortened stay that you came up with, as a compromise?
The length of the trip is important in making the decision, if shorter, it would make sense to take the trip; if very long and even open-ended, then it would be a different matter.
anita
April 12, 2017 at 1:29 am #144689
JayJayParticipantI agree with Anita. If it’s a shortened trip, then go. If he’s not there when you get back, then he was never meant to be the one and only. Six to eight weeks isn’t a long time to be away from someone.
However… You say you have now got a handle on what you want to do as a career. You could concentrate on building that aspect of your life up, as it can only help in the future, whether you stay in the UK or go to another country. As you say, you can keep the money saved for a future trip anyway.
April 12, 2017 at 1:42 am #144691JessicaParticipantMy original plan before I met him was to go for a year maby 2 and see where that lead. I wouldn’t go on a working holiday visa for less than a year as you only get 1 visa.
my 6-8 week idea is an option for further down the line if the relationship flourishes so I still see and do what i wanted to do.
April 12, 2017 at 10:38 am #144737AnonymousGuestDear Jessica:
The reason difficult choices are difficult to make is that there is some loss whichever choice we make, and so, a possible regret in the future. So, you look at the situation and make the best choice you can. If your partner is a decent guy, no abuse on his part, then it would make sense to postpone for now a 1-2year trip to Australia, even a 3-6 months trip would be too long for a relationship to be likely to survive such separation, especially in an early stage.
Thing is, there is no way for us to guarantee results. It is possible that the relationship will not last, but you can’t possibly know it at this point (given he is a decent guy, no abuse).
You can’t prevent and eliminate the possibility of regret. If you make your choice when calm, over time, accepting the risks, then it is possible to not have regrets in the future even if it doesn’t work out, because you know you made the best choice at the time, knowing what you knew then.
One more thing: you mentioned pregnancy: you can guarantee not getting pregnant using some methods, what is it, 99% guarantee?
anita
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