I’ve made topics here in the past about my relationship with my best friend.

Long story short, we were friends with benefits all last year. It never got serious because he was still in love with his ex. After thanksgiving, I hosted a friendsgiving party and I swear hosting it became a curse afterwards for me. I had a fall out with my best friend and another friend of mine who betrayed me in the past. Back track – I forgave her two months after her confessing she slept with my ex while me and my ex were together. It sounds shady writing it but I forgave her because (1) I truly valued her friendship, (2) she was the one who confessed it to me and (3) for the sake of our friend group.

After what was done to me, after my fallout with my best friend I needed someone who would understand me which was her. Yet, she wasn’t there for me this time which is why I cut her out of my life now.

Ever since my two fallouts, me and my best friend rekindled our friendship however it’s not the same anymore. Since my connection with him and the rest of my friends have been completely off for me, it has been destroying me. I depended on these people and it’s hard to detach from them because I cannot bare the feeling of disconnection and feeling left out when my other friend who betrayed me is still in the friend group.

My co workers keep telling me I need to focus on myself and leave them behind because I am allowing this to disturb my peace of mind. I am just scared to be alone. We all go to events together and it frightens me to think I’m on my own now. I feel alone and uncared for. I feel like no one wants to be my friend anymore.