What was it about your previous friends that made you feel like they weren’t on the same vibrational level?

I think the lesson here might be to work on being happy with yourself alone until you get your own vibration back on the right track. A vibration of desperation and lack tends to push things away to create more lack. It’s important to really work on being truly content at an energy level. Do you have any hobbies you really enjoy?  Maybe you could take some classes or do some activities and that would be a good way to meet new people and get back into being more active socially while also being therapeutic. I love the painting classes that seem to be everywhere right now. And I used to do bowling leagues, which was actually a lot of fun.

In the meantime, I would try to not be concerned about getting your old life back but better at the moment and just focus on doing things that make you feel happy now, literally anything that you truly enjoy doing… reading, creating art or music, going for walks, etc, without focusing on the things you don’t like at the moment.  There’s a blog, too, that I love called “Life Made to Order” that gives really good, no-nonsense advice on getting back on track that I’ve found helpful, too.

Also, be careful to not be too picky. It’s definitely good to not let anyone toxic into your space, but sometimes I think when we are too picky up front, we tend to not give people a chance and can sort of “judge a book by its cover,” so to speak. Some people are closed off at first and that can give off a vibe of resistance, but they are truly great people to have around once they open up, so just make sure you give people a chance to show themselves before you decide that you don’t want to let them hang around you.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Valora.

Dear Reina:

You wrote that years ago you were happy, “always surrounded by people and .. felt loved by them”, but now you are alone and lonely, ignored by people as if you are not present in the room at all (stated in your newer thread), “have  no friends..  no  one”, and you are desperate  for  friends and a boyfriend who will want  more than your body.

You wrote: “I want my old  life back, but I don’t  at the  same time. I want a better  one”-

If you want, I will try to  help you figure out how to  have a better  life, but it  will not be easy for you to figure it  out, it will not be an easy or pain-free process. If you want  to engage with me, then consider  my first question to you: what  is it that  you don’t want in your old life?

anita

my old friends were always jealous of me rather than supportive, jealous of my art, my makeup line, the clothes i made, and whenever I couldn’t make plans with them because i had to study for a test they would start arguments. I think you’re right, i need yo learn to be happy by myself and that a vibe of lack creates more lack, i just dont know how to do that will i will read the blog you mentioned and start reading books again. Thank you so much

Yep, I definitely don’t blame you at all for losing them, then.  Those kind of people tend to be toxic and that’s the last thing anyone needs.

I would honestly just start with reading helpful blogs and books. Do a Google search for anything you don’t know how to do and just start reading.  At the beginning of the year, I was trying hard to get over a really devastating breakup and figured out that I had attachment issues and really needed to learn to let go of people, things, and any need for control, so I literally Googled “how to let go”  and “how to not need closure” and “how to not need control” and just read blog after blog until it started to click in my head and I was able to figure out the things that worked for me to be able to achieve what I wanted to with that.  It’s okay that you feel lost and confused right now, but just reading advice on how to solve the problems that you’re feeling will eventually help a ton with your confusion and help to get you back on the path that you want to be on. Maybe start with Googling “How to be happy with my own company” and just start reading some of the things that pop up. Eventually you’ll find something that speaks to you.