Worried Partner,

It’s like the old saw: Put your oxygen mask on first before your child, i.e. take care of yourself before trying to help others.

Hopefully this guy will get professional help.  You are not his therapist.  There is a national suicide hotline.

You still can be in his life as a friend but you are setting yourself up if you play the role as the person he leans on for his depression and anxiety.  You cannot fix him.

If you cannot handle him walking in and out of your life when he feels up to it then you walk away to take care of yourself.

Mark

I also met a girl with a depression. We met a few times, kissed, I even started to have feelings for her. 1 month later I first noticed her depression, and she’s been pushing me away ever since. At the moment she texts me like 1 time in a month, pretending to be happy. I gave up on her long ago.

Like Kim said they need to fix themselves first to get better. It’s hard to admit you can’t help someone you love, but in my opinion it’s the harsh truth.

If you don’t want to give up on him yet, try leaving presents at his door or write him a love letter or something. Do random nice things. Don’t force him to talk about his problems either. Always try to be his sunshine, be happy around him.

What you have to remember is that you don’t want change the way you treat him. Don’t text him less, don’t ask him out less, ACT NORMAL. Even if he blocks everything off, just keep cool and text again later. You may be the only stability in his life. Also, pets have the similar effect as valium. Pets are surprisingly effective against depressions.

A tip for your own mental health is to keep in mind that he will NEVER hurt you on purpose. Remember this at all times. People who are depressed only care about their own missery, they don’t have energy to take your needs into account. It looks selfish, but they simply lack energy.

I wouldn’t give up on him now, not yet. But don’t let his depression swallow you.

Good luck !