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Dealing with my addictions and demons

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • August 17, 2016 at 8:47 am #112651
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear clinthat:

    The person who sexually abused you when you were five- was that a parent? Another sibling… uncle? The position that person had in your life is very important to what affect it had on you and in trying to understand more about what happened.

    Regarding trying to understand the motivation of an adult who sexually or otherwise abuses a five year old:

    It is most often, if not always, that an abusive adult was abused as a child. Abuse is very common and it often enough, unfortunately leads to abuse. But the person doing the abuse is not a passive vehicle of abuse, an innocent party automatically passing on the abuse to the next generation. There is some personal responsibility there.

    So as much as you may find out about the abuser’s abuse, you will get again and again to this point: how could he/ she looked into the innocent face of a five year old, a five year old looking up to that adult with love and trust and complete vulnerability, and then proceed to betray that trust, to shatter that little heart, to inflict such massive suffering on that little boy or girl that he/she may never recover or if taking on healing and recovery, it would take years. How could the abuser do that?

    Especially if done repeatedly and with no effort since to help if only a bit in healing the injury caused?

    How could the abuser keep living without confessing, coming clean, offering to do anything possible to correct?

    Please do post again with your thoughts/ feelings… and congratulations for taking on healing. Your relationship with your supportive wife is the most valuable thing you have and need to continue and persist in your healing- treat her well, take care of the relationship with her.

    anita

    August 17, 2016 at 11:05 pm #112728
    C Hat
    Participant

    It was a family member, not my parents at all.

    I am finding it a huge relief to get all this out and find that it is helping a lot with my road to recovery. Since I discovered all this and the root cause to my addictions it is like they have fallen away and have no hold on me anymore. I am proud to say that I have been clean of drugs for over 2 years now and have not found the need to relapse at all. As for the porn addiction it has been over a year that I have watched porn and a good few months that I have looked at any form of porn or pictures of naked women. As I said since the root cause to all of this has been exposed it is as if all my other demons have just fallen away and no longer bother me or have a hold on my life.

    My wife has been so amazing and supportive through all of this and has been my support and rock for when I am feeling down. I know it has not been easy on her but we have found that communication is the key to getting past all this. It like a new breath of life has been blown into our marriage. And we feel stronger than ever before.

    August 18, 2016 at 7:57 am #112747
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear clinthat:

    Congratulations for two years drug abstinence and your abstinence from any porn material. It is a testimony to your loving relationship with your wife, the “home base” of your healing. And it is a testimony to your ability and willingness to heal.

    Healing needs to continue. There is no “happily ever after” existence, no such thing. So keep at it, relax, rest, and keep healing.

    anita

    September 10, 2016 at 6:36 pm #114868
    Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching
    Participant

    Hi beautiful person comgrats your recovery journey is starting agreed lets get exciting for how much you grow, its ok you have or had addictions what matters is this doesnt define the beautiful unique person you are. Your wife loves u unconditionally and will love u the fact u geting help and wjlling to try and learn says alot about you. Keep staying positive focus on being happy and day by day accomplismnets and babysteps. Change doesnt happen adap but it will stop i promide, just accept this is happening and that its ok to make mistakeks youll end up ok, youre a grrat person ure never alone you are loved u are amazing and youll be ok, u can alsonuse these experiences to help others struggling with addiction to porm or other things, theres always a silver lining, u can be happy anytime and create it, happy people dont focus on what goes wrong but how thry can learn and to fight that they deserve to feel good just focus on what is good healthy and gives u joy in life like your wife food or etc, itll be ok woo KEEP UP YOUR AAMZING RECOVERING ITS WORTH IT WE ARE SO PROID OF YOU Love Leni ♡Livelovelifeleni Positivity&Motivation ♡

    October 5, 2016 at 2:10 pm #117286
    innerlight
    Participant

    Hi C Hat,

    I have also struggled with a hardcore drug and pornography addiction spanning over 20 years after being introduced to both in my early teens. Your post has allowed me to finally be able to talk about it.

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