Dear Tim:

Welcome back to your thread! You posted on this thread May 24- June 1 of this year. At the time, you (44) and your wife (40) broke up February 2023, agreeing to remain friends, but ended all contact soon after. Shortly before the breakup, your anxiety was elevated because of custody and financial issues in regard to your previous marriage, and she was dealing with some health issues and the start of menopause, and you believed these issues led to the breakup initiated by her. 

At the time of your breakdown you didn’t sleep for a week and lost 10 pounds in a few days. In march or April, broken hearted and weaning off meds, you sent her numerous text messages, voicemails, emails, reached out to friends and family so to get her back, and you believed that this behavior on your part scared and hurt her deeply.

Since the breakup (by May 2023), you lost 30 pounds, took on running, started volunteering, making new friends and exploring your spirituality, and all along you expressed your love for her, here on your thread, and you hoped for contact between you and her to resume. Fast forward five months and nine days to today, November 10, you posted this lovely update: the two of you individually came a long way in the 8-months of separation, contact has resumed and the two of you are friends, relationship to be re-evaluated in the spring of 2024.

In May 26, you wrote (I am adding the boldface feature): “I thought she was my soul mate (and I thought she felt the same way”. Today, you wrote: “She referred to me as her soul mate this week and we both still love each other”- Congratulations for getting back the soulmate reference!

“I’m a little anxious about the future but I’m just very glad she is back in my life. I need to find more ways to manage the anxiety“-

– I recommend Mark William’s series of mindfulness audio meditations. I think that they are available online, free of charge (at least a few are). They are excellent as ways to calm anxiety, if you listen to them regularly, every day. If you prefer other mindfulness audio or video meditations, there are plenty available online. I’ll be glad to talk with you further about ways to lessen anxiety of an every day basis.

anita

Dear Tim:

You are welcome.

“I’m still afraid of..”- here is a poem I found online. I like it. Maybe you will too. it’s called Defying the Fear:

“Fear creeps in like a thief in the night,
Stealing our courage and giving us fright,
But we must not let it take control,
For in our hearts lies a power so bold.

It whispers in our ear, trying to deceive,
Telling us we are weak, that we can’t achieve,
But we must not listen to its lies,
For within us, a fire burns bright.

We must stand tall and face the fear,
With a courage that is so rare,
For when we defy it, we grow stronger,
And our fears become a thing no longer.

We must take a step forward, then two,
And walk towards the unknown,
For the journey ahead may be tough,
But with determination, we’ve got enough.
<p data-slot-rendered-content=”true”>We must break free from fear’s grip,
And not let it hold us down with its whip,
For we are brave, we are strong,
And we have the power to carry on.</p>
We must embrace the challenges ahead,
And not let fear fill us with dread,
For when we overcome it, we’ll be proud,
And our courage will shout out loud.

So let us all rise above the fear,
And show the world what we hold dear,
For we are not defined by what we fear,
But by the bravery that we hold near.

So let us all stand tall, with grace,
And let our courage light up the place,
For we have the power to defy the fear,
And show the world that we are here.”