Dear eile:

Your question: “Is there some way to ask him to communicate about this kind of stuff, without alienating him?”

If he is relationship-hobic, that is, if he is scared of being in a love relationship with a woman, he may be alienated by any emotionally laden topic you bring to him. Is he… relationship-phobic (just made up the term)? Did he ever have a girlfriend or does he? Did he ever talk about his own emotions? Do you know anything about his childhood family life…? These may give you clues as to a possible relationship phobia.

If he didn’t answer those two texts because the answers would be too long for a text, then asking him in person may be the way for you to get his answers. Then you can look at his face and check his comfort/ discomfort level- are his eyes away from you, is he blushing, is he physically uncomfortable? If he is, you can change the subject to a light one. But then you’ll know more than you know now.

anita