How are you, Irene74??

anita

Dear Irene74:

I am fine, than you for asking. How exciting to read from you again, being that your last post was a year and a month ago! I want to refresh my memory, so here goes a short walk on memory lane:

In March 2015 (two months before I joined tiny buddha), you shared in your first thread that you were 40 (now 47), that two weeks earlier, you ended an 18 year-long relationship with a man because he took you for granted, did nothing around the house and took his stress out on you. You shared that you were “so scared speaking to him. It was horrible but he wasn’t angry at all and was very good about it… it took me a long time to build up the courage to speak to him!… Friends couldn’t believe I’d finally done it. One even said I never would and I would put up with it forever“.

You moved in with your parents after the separation: “I feel lost and like I don’t belong anywhere… I’ve no idea what I’m going to do next!… it’s so strange living here after 16 years away. I feel like I’m 24 again!”

In your second thread, on September 2019, you shared that you’ve been with your new partner for 4 years (the relationship must have started a few months after the ending of the last). You shared about a friend you had for five years, that while you were with your ex, she used to tell you things like: “I don’t know what your problem is and you’ll never leave him!“, but after you left the ex and got involved with your new partner, she said things like: “well you don’t need your friends now“, and she withdrew from you, and one day, “she gave me what I’m pretty sure was a dirty look!“. You found her behavior confusing, hence the title of your trhead- Confusing People.

In regard to work, you mentioned back in September 2019 and in October 2020 that you were stressed at work because at that time of the year, being that you work in support of a univerisity for teaching, there is “always a rush to get things done for the new term and it always seems last minute“. You shared that 2020 was “worse as our management aren’t considering that we may be struggling too (what with the pandemic!) and our mental health doesn’t matter, just as long as we’re at work then that’s it!”

In October 2020, you shared that you’ve been with your partner for just over 5 years, that the two of you work together, that you were happy but both were stressed at work. You were still bothered about the former friend’s withdrawal: “I don’t know why I’m bothered really“, you wrote in Oct 2010, “she still bothers me, I wish I could put her behind me!“, you wrote in April 2021, and “it still bothers me a bit“, May 26, 2022, but the issue of the friend has taken a back seat because “Work stress has taken over everything for a while, we have someone who is very bad for the team with his behaviour but no one to tell it seems“.

Again, good to read back from you! If you want to talk about any of the above items, please do… I wonder if improving your assertive skills can make your work experience less stressful?

anita