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Confused

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • May 6, 2015 at 5:18 am #76220
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi brickflipper,

    Oh the poor girl! I’m sorry, but all she needed to do was devote 100% of her energies into that thesis. The last thing she needed was babysitting two guy’s feelings during that time!!

    Listen, Long Distance relationships are hard.

    Moving in together is hard.

    Grad school is hard.

    Why does it have to be hard? Any of it?

    I suggest she has a relationship AFTER grad school and have her OWN place.

    This way, you can actually enjoy yourselves!! Then, after a year or two with no drama, get married.

    Just my opine!

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by Inky.
    May 6, 2015 at 5:32 am #76223
    Will
    Participant

    Hm. It’s a bit of chrystal ball gazing, this one, but I’ll have a go. Her freaking out given the situation is understandable, and not necessarily a bad sign. You guys not talking since might be of some concern. It’s not clear to me whether you’ll be moving in together in this new city, or be separately based. I’d say it’s not a great idea to move in together, at this stage. Be around each other in a more normal situation for a longer while, so you can feel out how you’d be living together.

    I’m afraid being crazy about someone isn’t necessarly a sign you’ll work well together. Hope, but don’t count on it.

    I do hope things work out, and best of luck to you both.

    May 6, 2015 at 8:13 am #76228
    B
    Participant

    Thank you – I think both of you have summed up exactly how I’m feeling about things, which is reassuring. I agree, having left the situation, I completely understand why things happened the way they did. I have no hard feelings towards her at all and actually think having gone through it has given me a greater appreciation of why I wanted to move overseas. I also agree that what we need to do now (if we get the chance) is try and have a normal relationship.

    I was also thinking that we live separately in the new city, date for a while and then assuming that goes well we can think about moving in together and then if that goes well think about marriage…we went straight from step 1 to step 100 and that was never going to work.

    May 6, 2015 at 7:27 pm #76314
    Ariane Michaud
    Participant

    Just read this after you replied to my post! Yes, I see the similarities!
    I can completely understand the stress that comes with the long-distance “leap”- but as you advised me, it IS worth trying…love is always worth it.
    I like the idea of starting your life together in a neutral city- this has also been discussed with my partner as a possibility.
    I think the benefit of that is that it eliminates the possibility of one partner resenting the other for taking them away from their foundation.
    Good luck to you and keep us posted!

    May 6, 2015 at 7:29 pm #76316
    B
    Participant

    Let me know if you want to chat Blondilocks – I find talking about these things to be really helpful (I guess that’s the point of these forums!), but if you wanted a more detailed conversation, I’d be happy to talk more. I’m still in my confused phase, any distraction would be much appreciated at the moment

    May 6, 2015 at 7:30 pm #76317
    Ariane Michaud
    Participant

    Yes would love that!
    I’m new to Tiny Buddha- is there a private chat option?

    May 6, 2015 at 7:42 pm #76318
    B
    Participant

    Not that I know of – do you use Skype at all?

    May 7, 2015 at 10:19 am #76366
    Ariane Michaud
    Participant

    I do indeed!

    I can add you if you send me your username 🙂

    May 7, 2015 at 6:50 pm #76411
    B
    Participant

    brickflipper24

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