Hi Cyd,
I totally get this. But remember that it is a human, primal need to want to be with someone. We are born for love and connection. Even cavemen ~ up to people a million years in the future ~ would only want someone for companionship and sex if there wasn’t anyone else around! It’s great that you’re very self aware, but don’t use your self awareness to trip yourself up. By the way, good relationships will make you stronger, and a true partner wouldn’t let you get away with you being hurtful or using them.