Hi Anita, it’s complicated, my dating experience so far has been that my men have not had any children and so I was a priority and to be fair when I started dating Michael it seemed like that as he was seeing me a lot but this was because he’d been made redundant so was coming to see me almost every lunchtime and then picking me up and going to his or out for dinner but I’m the days he’d have his 6 year old he’d leave early which wasn’t a problem. For me it was hard all of December as his ex was unwell which meant he had to have his daughter and her Birthday is then so there were parties which meant not seeing me and then there was Christmas Day, Boxing Day and we were meant to see each other Christmas Eve but again ex unwell. Then he stated his new job which meant no lunches, a few days away which unfortunately turned into nearly a week and in return had to keep daughter a few days in a row. Due to what’s going on with the kids I wasn’t being introduced and rightly so. He doesn’t see other daughter as she won’t speak to him and his son sees him but not a lot. I felt like I was never seeing him and had went from seeing him a lot to hardly anything.

I honestly believe he loved me and I pushed him away with my anxiety over our arrangements that got changed or cancelled so often that I was finding it hard to trust him and it made me sad because all I wanted was to spend time with him. I think everything got on top of him with the anxiety and depression and new job and kids and I became another “problem” but one he could remove. I’m devastated, I miss him so much.

I honestly believe I have pushed him away, all he did and actually said this, was to give his all because he believed we were worth it. He proved this time and again through not only his words but his actions too. He was there for me in the beginning because he was out of work and was able to do a lot and then when he got the job and things started to get worse with the ex wife and kids I saw his mood drop and coming off the tablets for depression over Christmas because he had run out didn’t help. When he was no longer there for me it was hard to adjust to and I became anxious of our arrangements and bless him I think he did too as he would never know if an hour before leaving work there would be a problem he had not option other than to deal with or that he’d need to go get the kids and he became nervous about telling me as he knew it’d upset me. I was not understanding enough and my stupidity has made him withdraw from me. I wish I had done things differently, he needed someone to just understand and be supportive and all I did was get upset and he felt he couldn’t make me happy and as he gave his all he couldn’t give anymore so left. I truly believe this. I pushed him to the emotional edge and with everything else he has going on it isn’t hard to see why he is the way he is. I just wish I could have been better for him and get a chance to show I could be. The timing wasn’t right for either of us, I think a break would have been better than a split.

A friend said it is good I am not blocked and that maybe he just needs time to sort himself and his situation out before he responds to me. I don’t know. I am not going to be messaging him again, I have done all that I can. I am trying to move on but it is very hard when I thought we could have been the family unit he/I wanted.

I have learned that I need to trust more, be more understanding and supportive, it’s just such a shame I didn’t learn that before him.

Mark, yes it makes sense 🙁