conflicted

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This topic has 22 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 8 months ago by Anonymous.

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July 28, 2019 at 12:20 am #305263

Thondit
Participant

Dear Tania,

I was almost judging you in a negative way or called you “bimbo” but you respond everyone in a beautiful ways. Great!!

My appreciation goes to ‘Peggy’ as he stated that it is time for to face “facts”. Wonderful statement. It really amazing facts. Tinybudha, has got a nice people , a brained people who said facts on ground and perhaps no need to hide to the truth from someone who is confused in his/her marriage. Mark, and Peggy, thanks in advance, you are also a right person you are like PIC do you know what i say?? Pilot in command, is the last person to take a decision in the aircraft .

Tania, thanks madam for accepting advise. But who knows that you will not cheated this man which is with you now. Chin up your head and be with your man. God has already given you him full stop.

Anita, your first advice wasn’t reality to Tania, and perhaps she is married…… Tania, is back to her maturity after facing what the reality is!!!! Tania, God has a purpose of making you to marriage this man! Work for your child so that next time you post your child here.

I i know it will take time for you to relief but you will!!!!

I remembered we used to take those girls who sells themselves at night when we were in Nairobi in the year 2015 ,,,, I met one of the young girl who is from college and after we had sex i ask why do you sell yourself out at night and eventually she said she was trying to help her mother and the siblings who are in High School ,,,,,

I gave her strong advice and she completely stopped that business. So Tania, forget your MJ now and be focus to your amazing man.

Back to Anita, remember the advice you gave when i was stuck in the month of march????

My wife is back to me but i haven’t yet agree with her because she reached to an extended of calling my own dad in order to advice me.

My wife quarrel with her mother telling her why did you mislead me to leave my husband and my son. Anita, check the message i posted again in the same post i posted in the month of march.

Thank you all for those who took time to advice Tania….

All the best.

Gregory.

Anita, Gregory has resume is piloting training now in Nairobi.

July 28, 2019 at 8:32 am #305335

Peggy
Participant

Hi Tania,

Be very proud of yourself for getting back on track and freeing yourself up to be fully with your husband. Tell yourself every day of your life how lucky you are for all that you have. The past has been and gone – you don’t need it any more.

Thank you for the kind comments and compliments that have come my way – truly appreciated.

Love

Peggy

July 29, 2019 at 12:23 pm #305521

Tania
Participant

Thank you everyone-

I didn’t contact him this weekend. I was working so I was busy most of the time. I haven’t had urges to text, more like check his ‘stories’ on snapchat because I used to do that all the time (anyone on snapchat would know that those stories are just an ‘attention seeking–attention giving’ tool, ha!) but Im no longer on the app. Good thing. I haven’t had facebook or instagram or any other social media in several years so that helps.

Chloe Rose– thank you for sharing your experience. I can see why self hatred would make this worse or prolong this situation. I did some thinking and I also feel like the way Im treated at work can trigger some of my behavior. Im often yelled out and other things and when I go home I just want to go to a happy place. Im making my home, husband and doggy my happy place now. I’ll be finishing in this place in one year and hope to find a nice happy workplace as well.

Will keep you updated and thanks again,

Tania

July 29, 2019 at 12:37 pm #305533

Tania
Participant

Gregory, you made me laugh 🙂

I agree and I’d judge myself as well as I read my words and it all sounds terrible. It’s good that there are people that can point things out and help me gain perspective.

July 29, 2019 at 1:05 pm #305535

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Tania:

Good to read your positive update. You wrote that you are yelled at, in the workplace, did I understand correctly: one or more people at work yell at you? If this is the case, the yelling at you has to stop immediately, there has to be a way to make it happen!

anita

July 29, 2019 at 1:18 pm #305547

Tania
Participant

Hi anita,

that’s right. I work in a very abusive environment. I’m in my last year of surgical training (7 years after medical school). Things have improved but we (especially surgery trainees) still experience a lot of abuse, mostly verbal. There’s a culture of bullying, toxicity, sexism and plain meanness. There’s also a lot of passive aggressive behavior and issues among the surgeons, lots of drama. It’s taken a lot of action from the graduate medical association in the country to change the culture but it’s still there. I had some tough times a couple of years ago but now that I ‘have thicker skin’ like the surgeons say it doesnt bother me as much. At least not to the point of crying every night.

July 29, 2019 at 1:18 pm #305549

Tania
Participant

In other words, the yelling out wont stop. At least not in the near future

July 29, 2019 at 1:34 pm #305555

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Tania:

So there is nothing legally or practically that can done to stop the verbal abuse and meanness in the hospital where you work ,in the country you live in, if I understand correctly. What a shame!

anita
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