Hi Poppyxo,

I can only speak for myself. My DH and I never brought up other people when we were getting to know each other. There was an assumption that we were both “free agents”, as it were.

BUT, later, after a month or so, he said, “I’d like to date you exclusively if the feeling is mutual.”

So I’d lean more towards answer #1 first and with #2 later. Meaning, I wouldn’t even ask her question, and neither would he. 🙂

Best,

Inky

Dear Poppyxo:

Question: ” “If I’m texting/calling/meeting up with someone (no sex, just getting to know someone in the early stages) and the question of other girls come up, for example, “are you texting/meeting anyone else?”, and he says yes, where do I stand?”

My answer: The early stages of what might become a physically intimate relationship should be (I say) a mutual interview process where the two parties interview each other for the position of an intimate partner in a physical/ emotionally intimate relationship. The two should learn WHO the other is, his/ her values, challenges, ways of communicating, etc.

For as long as the mutual interview lasts, the two are free to interview others.

anita

Dear Poppyxo:

When the series of interviews end in success, a matching of values and goals, then starts an exclusive relationship. The physical part should start some time into the established exclusive, monogamous relationship.

anita