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commitment issues

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  • March 15, 2016 at 6:02 pm #99098
    Lady Nadia
    Participant

    Dear everyone,
    I hope you are doing well.

    I would like to request help about “commitment issues”
    I’ve been single for quite some time (not that I dislike it, but sometimes I do wish I’d meet someone interesting)
    I’ve had a few relationships, the latest was that the person cheated with another girl.
    I’ve had a crush on someone and I tried all I could to get closer but after some time, I decided to let go as there was absolutely no option to go further than friendship, too bad.
    Now there is someone who showed interest, but I felt very uneasy by the approach, he started asking questions about my family, what nationalities they were, if I had brothers and sisters without even discussing other topics, it felt like an interrogation.
    This person is a trainer, I used to just say Hi and thank you, talk for maybe a minute about exercises and that was it. Now, that interrogation has made me feel uneasy. I just want to stick to being nice at sports. I really do not see myself engaging in this But does that incline that I have commitment issues?
    This way of approach has been used quite some times and it always resulted in : I’m here to get married, so shall we go for it (dating?)?

    Hope my post isn’t confusing!

    Thank you

    March 15, 2016 at 7:39 pm #99105
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lady Nadia:

    I don’t see commitment issues in what you described above. An ex boyfriend cheated on you, a crush you had, and the interrogating trainer, none of these accounts show commitment issues on your part. As I understand commitment issues, it is when you are in a relationship and the other person want to be exclusive with you, or want to move in together or get married and you feel scared of being stuck in an exclusive relationship, or in a live-in situation, or in marriage.

    ???

    anita

    March 16, 2016 at 4:53 am #99136
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Lady Nadia,

    Are we not allowed to have preferences? My dad hated it when guys who had (technically) nothing wrong with them would ask me out and I was all “No thank you”. You don’t have commitment issues. You’re being discerning. Nothing wrong with that.

    Best,

    Inky

    March 16, 2016 at 6:18 am #99138
    Lady Nadia
    Participant

    Dear Anita,
    I might have used the wrong term then, let’s just say that people sometimes want to force me like: just do it, just for fun!
    and I’m not into this type of relationship.

    Dear @inky,
    Thank you for understanding. Indeed that is exactly what I thought. I should stop carrying what other people think about how I handle my love life.

    March 16, 2016 at 8:39 am #99141
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Lady Nadia:

    I wonder what type of relationship you are interested in. What would be the right relationship for you?

    anita

    March 16, 2016 at 10:28 am #99160
    Jennifer
    Participant

    Dear Lady Nadia,

    I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with sticking up for your values, which I feel is what you are doing. It sounds like when you describe “force me like: just do it, just for fun!”, that sounds like others are seeking a casual relationship or are pushing you out of your comfort zone. Why start a relationship with someone just out of lust or peer pressure, instead of true love?

    There are plenty of fishes in the sea. If this one doesn’t suit you, you’re bound to find another one. It sounds like you’re not really into the trainer, so why push yourself further? When you’ve met someone you like (which you have before)….you will know it. Trust your gut instincts. 🙂

    My approach is…we should learn to love ourselves first. Once we truly love ourselves, then we are bound to attract someone that truly appreciates us.

    Good luck!
    Jennifer

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