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cheating, grad school applications, work, and anxiety

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • June 11, 2019 at 9:22 am #298463
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Zariah,

    I would tell him that you slept with someone else. This bit of honesty will even the score a bit. He will know that you can (easily) walk away at any time. It also gives HIM all the information to make an informed decision to stay with YOU.

    And don’t tell him you applied to grad school. Only tell him if you get in. His knowledge can only make it feel worse for you. Not that he compares you with this other girl, but I get that it’s a mental thing for you.

    What I would do is dump him and start over, but that’s just me. You’re going to want a clean start with no distractions when you go to grad school anyway.

    Best,

    Inky

    June 11, 2019 at 9:43 am #298473
    Zariah
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    I’ve actually told him already, the next day it happened. It was sort of another one of those moments I wanted to leave and it would give him an easy out. That wasn’t the right way to handle things too. It was with someone that was a friend/complicated relationship so it put me in a more vulnerable spot.

    “You’re going to want a clean start with no distractions when you go to grad school anyway.” You are right I do want a clean start at times but we have actually talked about this at length. I can leave at any point and pursue my career goals and not think twice about it now, which he knows. He is slowly trying to get the trust back (access to phone, etc.). I just feel like my anxiety is getting too much at times and I don’t think clearly because of this.

     

    June 11, 2019 at 11:54 am #298541
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Zariah:

    When we are anxious about one thing (your admission to graduate school), the anxiety tends to spread like wild fire and ignite something else that is in its way, be it an  old thing, (your boyfriend’s prior infidelity), or something new.

    Therefore,  manage your anxiety best you can, lower it, keep it down, be it by taking a daily long walk or two, committing to an exercise routine, doing guided meditations, yoga, something that works for you.

    anita

    June 11, 2019 at 11:55 am #298543
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * didn’t reflect under Topics

    June 11, 2019 at 12:25 pm #298551
    Zariah
    Participant

    Thank you anita! I  have done guided meditation and it seems to help some. I’m also working out often to relieve anxiety as well.

    June 11, 2019 at 12:49 pm #298553
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Zariah:

    You are welcome. I hope you continue to post about your work experience and efforts to lower your anxiety at work. It may be useful for you to keep this thread going. Over time we can come up with more ideas, thoughts and suggestions that may be useful to you.

    anita

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