Hi Tnaer123,

Because of what has happened trust is no longer a part of your relationship.  This is not about you being second best, this is about your wife’s betrayal.  You could go to marriage counselling with your wife so that you can explore the way forward and decide whether or not you have a future with your wife or you could end your marriage now.  If you want to stay together then you have to let this affair go and find ways of addressing the issues which were in your marriage before the affair began.  This requires honest communication and a willingness to accept that being married to the ‘forces’ creates fear, loneliness, loss of support etc.

Feeling ‘second best’ is your ego talking.  Is that helpful to the survival of your marriage?  The other guy is out of her life, you are not.  Reclaim your power!

Peggy

Hello and Happy Day,

I’m sorry you are experiencing this. I know you can come out on the other side of this experience a stronger version of yourself.

I’ve recently been through the heartbreak of betrayal. I know there’s nothing like the pain and confusion of it. I can’t tell you what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. Only your heart can direct the steps you take towards your own healing.  I can share with you what helped and worked for me in my recovery.  First, I sought professional help.   I was aware I was in need of emotional tools I did not possess to get me through.  Second, I watched videos on YouTube from “affairrecovery.com”  those videos helped me make sense of everything I was feeling.  It’s been almost a year for me.  I am stronger, calmer and have realized how much “I matter”   I wish you well.  Joanna Lynne