Hi K,

I think we have a tendency to identify with our personalities so much that we forget that our personality is not our soul. Our soul is who we are at our core, our highest most in tune, tapped in self.

I won’t get into the dance between the conscious and unconscious mind, nor will i get into how the conscious mind’s role is to act as a gatekeeper (identifying constructive & destructive thoughts and monitoring what is allowed in and what isn’t).

We actually have many behaviors that create many different personalities or egos- these are influenced by our upbringing, environment, & experiences. So let’s say, someone develops a behavior around a negative experience, like dating. This person has many terrible dating experiences and now this person thinks “all men/women are cheaters.” Something like that, and so these experiences impact this person negatively & now, they are closed off and not trusting. These reactions & behaviors, this is now apart of their “personality.” Maybe they become deep rooted patterns over time if this person neglects to do self development work.

Now personally, do I think people can change? Yes.

Can you change?

I ask this because I once thought people couldn’t change. But I thought that I could change. I realized that was problematic. Like am I special? Not really. If I can change, others can change.

Like the example above, this person has adopted behaviors to protect themselves. That is a change.

My bigger question then is- is it so much about changing, Or is it about becoming our true selves? This is under the idea that our true self is our best self. Understanding that experiences outside of us impact us like shades on glasses. Adding layers and layers of shades, making it harder to see clearly our true selves.

I would say one simple way to navigate this, with the example in mind, have a value & integrity system. With a value system, we can solidify these personalities & develop a character. A strong healthy, constructive, harmonious (harmonious as in aligned with our soul) self.

But if you are asking this because you have some people in mind who behave disruptively/negatively.. And you want to know can they change? In short, yes. But no one can make that decision but them. All we can do on the outside is observe patterns and behaviors.

Good luck.

I think you might benefit from reading Ekhart Tolle – “The Power of Now” … he has a lot to say about your question .. in fact almost the entire book … There is also a smaller and more consise version called “Practising the Power of Now” which is an easier read for some …

Love and Light

Kevin