Can someone change in a relationship?

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This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Anonymous.

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October 28, 2018 at 9:01 am #233847

mallllh
Participant

I’ve been having a hard time lately with my relationships in my life, I don’t know how to make my self believe that change in a person is possible. A person very close to me in my life has rescently made some huge changes for himself and our relationship. He’s amazing and getting better everyday. But The first year of us being together was such a difficult time, he has changed so much for the better, got his priorities in order. But for some reason I can’t seem to grasp that he has changed, in certain situations I can’t trust what he says because of how he use to be. But he isn’t that person anymore, I just need help how to over come that! I know it’s my responsibility but it’s hard

October 28, 2018 at 10:21 am #233869

Inky
Participant

Hi mallllh,

If the changes are less than a year old, then they may very well be surface-y changes.

But when it’s say, three years later, then hopefully those changes in behavior have become a good habit that he will have internalized.

Hope that helps!

Inky

October 28, 2018 at 10:29 am #233871

Feathering my nest
Participant

I agree with Inky.

Positive reinforcement towards your partner, hopefully these changes will stick around 😀

October 29, 2018 at 8:43 am #234293

Anonymous
Guest

Dear malllh:

My suggestion is: make sure you change what you need to change in your own behavior. Be gentle with yourself and patient with the process of making lasting change. Be gentle with him as well, and patient, as long as the two of you are sincerely committed to changing what each of you needs to or should change.

anita

October 30, 2018 at 8:16 am #234465

Nilufer
Participant

I have my relationship now for 9 months and we broke up twice because he has a fear of having a relationship. He had quite bad experiences and had no trust in woman anymore. After our latest breakup he realised that he has to change his attidute toward a relationship or he will lose me . Of course he can”t change from one minute to another . But I think even starting and even wanting to change is a big step.I believe that he will be able to change … he has lots of wounds to heal.
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