fbpx
Menu

Breaking up to grow apart

Home→Forums→Relationships→Breaking up to grow apart

New Reply
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • August 21, 2018 at 8:55 am #222287
    Aimee
    Participant

    I’ll be moving away in over a month and my partner intends to do the same. We’ve always discussed this, except now it’s really happening.

    We still see eachother like we’re in the relationship but it will have to change. We have said that we can’t hold onto eachother or wait for eachother because one of us could get hurt, and we don’t want that for either of us. We remain adamant that if we end up together we would have done everything we intended to do and grown so much, which would make our relationship even more special.

    I’m now struggling with how to be at peace with potentially not being with him romantically. Because anything could happen, my gut just churns when I say things like “we may not end up together”, and I don’t know how to go on.

    August 21, 2018 at 11:26 am #222383
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Aimee:

    Sometimes we make decisions that seem great on paper, that makes logical sense, and even sound good, but then, after some time, we realize we can’t handle those decisions emotionally.

    I would say, revisit the decision you made with your boyfriend, let him know how you feel after having made the decision and talk further. (The decision to move may not change, but maybe some adjustments need to be made).

    anita

     

    August 21, 2018 at 4:37 pm #222447
    Aimee
    Participant

    Thanks Anita. We have spoken quite extensively about everything and I’m not sure what else I can say?

    We would prefer to be together and of grown than to of continued in our relationship pushing down the desire to follow our dreams. We just have different career dreams and he’s already lived where I’m going, and I cannot get a job where he wants to go.

    Thank you 🙂

    August 21, 2018 at 10:57 pm #222477
    Prash
    Participant

    Dear Aimee,

    From this and your previous posts, what seems to be there is a mutually respectful relationship where you are letting each other go. As the time for this nears, you will feel the emotions that you have felt for each other even more.

    Remind yourself of all the reasons you took this decision as you move forward. What happens later is not in your control. Being mindful of all the positives that you feel will give you the strength to go through this phase. Feel the gratitude for the love and growth that you have experienced in this relationship so far.

    Take care.

    August 21, 2018 at 10:59 pm #222479
    Prash
    Participant

    *Re-posted

    Dear Aimee,

    From this and your previous posts, what seems to be there is a mutually respectful relationship where you are letting each other go. As the time for this nears, you will feel the emotions that you have felt for each other even more.

    Remind yourself of all the reasons you took this decision as you move forward. What happens later is not in your control. Being mindful of all the positives that you feel will give you the strength to go through this phase. Feel the gratitude for the love and growth that you have experienced in this relationship so far.

    Take care.

    August 22, 2018 at 8:16 am #222533
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Aimee:

    You are welcome.

    You said everything, conversations were extensive, so the talking part is done, for now.

    You wrote in your original post: “my gut just churns.. I don’t know how to go on”. I suppose you learn to go on with that churning gut. Make peace with that emotional sensation best you can, with missing him, with that emptiness. Do your best to distract yourself from it in healthy ways (daily walks, for example), make friends, reach out to those dreams.

    And post here anytime with your thoughts and feelings, it may help.

    anita

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.