Hi everyone. Came across this website recently and would like to say I very much enjoy the content on here.

Thought it’d be good to air my situation too.

Last year, my girlfriend and fiance of 8 years decided to call off our wedding 2 months before and break up. Biggest shock of my life. There were never ever any signs, and if you were to ask anyone, she was the one more in love. Looking back, she seemed very dependent on me. However, there were never any signs because she always kept her feelings inside and subdued, never communicating with me, never really airing her opinion. This all led to an eruption at the end in which all plans for the wedding and us…finished.

As hard as it was, I accepted it, moved on and saw it as a massive opportunity to grow having just come out such a long relationship. I’m quite a strong person and accepted that I didn’t need anyone who would put me through such an ordeal. I ended up in essence, having the time of my life, meeting someone and dropping all limitations and controls I used to put on myself. But things ended so abruptly I knew she’d be back.

3 months later she was. Insistent on another chance and saying she’s stronger and wiser and missed ‘us’, she wanted to get back together. I inevitably obliged, although I was hesitant and scared of being hurt again as I was in such a good place.

6-7 months on now and things aren’t quite working. They seemed great at the start, and I’m sure they always do after breaking up. Had healthy arguments, and communication was a lot more open. But over the past few months, after going on holiday with a female friend for the first time, we’ve just drifted and got more and more distant. This isn’t helped by the fact she lives and works an hours drive away. She lives at her work’s accommodation, more or less away from everything and everyone.

But ever since the breakup last year, and now more than ever, she has turned to spirituality, meditation….enlightenment, as a lot of people do after going through such an event. I value these things as well although I don’t really practice them. I take an interest and encourage her on these subjects and ever since last year have been so understanding with her on this path. As she sort of lost herself along the way when she was with me, and ‘I believe’ her parents having a very bad relationship at home also…it has led her to concentrate on herself, which again, I understand. As a result, our relationship has suffered (it didn’t have to necessarily) and she’s not the same with me. This is very hard to take as I feel betrayed as for everything I ever gave her…I’m now made to feel like a stranger.

So it is looking more and more likely that the break up (again) is inevitable. She’s confused, has been for a while, but the relationship seems like it may have served its course. Mainly because she’s changed. Now whilst SHE seems to be in a very good and peaceful place to be able to deal with it, I on the other hand am not!

Last year when we broke up, I was living with my parents and brothers, but now I have my own place and live on my own. I’m 27. Being an introvert, this was great initially, but now has me feeling more alone than ever because no aspect of my life is fulfilling me at the moment. I don’t really have any friends, have no real social life, no relationship life and I’m not being fulfilled in my work life either, same job for 6 years. I was content with having her as my only real friend and my social life. But now, I currently feel like I have no purpose and am stuck in a rut. I enjoy connecting with people but it’s just not that easy making friends.

I know I have to do a bit of soul seeking myself, but the truth is I don’t really have any hobbies either, apart from working out which I’m not doing at the moment either. I know I need a new job too. She seems well equipped to deal with a breakup this time with plenty of hobbies, friends and ‘inner peace’ whereas I am not! That kinda hurts too knowing she seems like she’ll be alright on her own. Kinda has me regretting getting back with her because I was in such a good place at the time.

Considering solo travel which I’ve never done and seems very very daunting, but might be exactly what I need!

All views and opinions welcome 🙂