Home→Forums→Relationships→Boyfriend wants to move across the World without me
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Anonymous.
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December 22, 2018 at 11:33 am #270463
AnonymousInactiveHello fellow tiny buddhas,
As I type this, I’m sitting on a train heading back home for Christmas. I’m happy to be returning to my family for a week but I can’t help but dwell on a problem I’m having with my Boyfriend.
Weve only be dating a couple of months, and even when we were only seeing each other in the very beginning I knew he intended to go to australia in mid 2019. I was so surprised when he officially asked me to be his girlfriend because I never thought he wanted that kind of commitment. When I asked about how having a girlfriend would affect his move to Australia, He told me at that time that “plans can be moved”. I never questioned it and we never spoke about it until yesterday; he suggested that long distance wouldn’t be feasible and that we’d just end the relationship once he leaves. (We’re both from ireland so the time difference between Oz and Ireland is 12 hours I think).
I got upset, I told him I was willing to do long distance and that I’d even move to Australia in Jan 2020 (as I’d be qualified then). It’s always been my intention to travel also and he knows this.
He wants to continue the relationship until he leaves in June 2019 but thinks it’s best to cut contact after this.
i have no idea where this leaves me or what to do.
Ive known this guy for 3 years and things only took a romantic turn in the last year. We get on great and our relationship is amazing, but I’m so hurt he’s choosing Australia over me. I don’t know how to continue, I don’t want to loose him but I don’t know how to make this better.
What would you do?
December 22, 2018 at 1:56 pm #270481
pseudonymParticipantI wonder if you were qualified now and could go with him now, would he want you to go with him or would he choose to go alone. I would say the answer to that question would help you know the right course of action.
December 22, 2018 at 3:52 pm #270495
MarkParticipantEmma,
Your boyfriend is doing what he told you he was going to do. He only has been a boyfriend of a couple of months. Trying to sustain a couple of month relationship over long distance especially when you are both young (I suspect you both are in your 20s) seems not the best way to grow as individuals. I have a philosophy that two people are meant to be together then they will be together. Living separate lives while apart gives each of you the emotional freedom to grow.
My two cents,
Mark
December 23, 2018 at 8:59 am #270595AnonymousGuestDear Emma:
It is possible that his motivation when he asked you to be his girlfriend was to have a physically and romantic short term relationship with you, one with a pre-established due date.
“When I asked about how having a girlfriend would affect his move to Australia, He told me at that time that ‘plans can be moved’. I never questioned it and we never spoke about it until yesterday”-
when he told you that he may not move to Australia because of the beginning relationship with you, he may have lied, so that you will agree to the few-months-relationship.
This was my thought when I first read your thread a few hours ago, but then I thought to myself: why should I bring this up, it will only make you feel bad, if you consider it, or if you already considered you, it will make you feel badly to be reminded of this possibility.
Do you think it is a bad idea that I brought up this possibility to you?
anita
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