Its a positive step, the anti-depressants have kicked in and I feel able to return to work tomorrow after 7 weeks of sick leave. My boyfriends dad is at deaths door but I am coping better with the grief and supporting my boyfriend better. I possibly wouldn’t have returned to the same workplace if I hadn’t heard that I’d been offered a promotional position in a team I used to work for. My line manager has emailed me asking whether I will return to work in the afternoon as she is on a course.
I’ve emailed back saying no, this isn’t good for me as I will be worked up all morning thinking about my return. So I am returning to work at 9-9.30am and I hope to work for 3 to 4 hours but I’ll see when I get there. Can anti-depressants give you more confidence in your ability to make decisions? In the past I would of just done as she suggested so as not to upset my employers but now I don’t care, I’ve also told her I do not want to discuss my breakdown with anyone from work, she wants me to meet her in the onsite restaurant for a coffee, I am leaving this team in hopefully less than 2 weeks so what is the point of me reliving all the sorrow I have been feeling. I just want to get back to work tasks and a regular work regime/routine.
My current job is a contributing factor to my breakdown, I started it 7 months ago and there was never much work to do, I asked for other work and it wasn’t available, it felt like a none-job. Part of my reason for a phased hours return to work is I expect that there isn’t any work to do and there is no way I am prepared to be sat at my desk wasting my time in a job I will soon be leaving. Part of me wants to tell my line manager how crap I think the job is and how I think my post should not be filled as there isn’t enough work to do? This is the correct thing to do when I am wearing my business mind but surely this will cause negative feelings and I just cant be bothered with any more of those..
This week I haven’t heard anything more from my new employers, it’s probably cause its half term and my new line manager is off work. I am paranoid thinking my current line manager has spoken to my new line manager saying she doesn’t think a promotional job will be good for my mental health. I am worried about this a bit too but I am returning to a team I used to work for and I loved and I know I will be busy and looked after.
Do anti-depressants make your decision making better?
I would of been told if my job offer had been rescinded?
I really don’t like going to work but it’s something I have to do as I have bills to pay, does anyone out there actually enjoy going to work? Am I really stuck in a uninspiring career?
Any feedback, personal experiences etc will be appreciated. Thanks