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At the end of my rope: I can't seem to move on from first love…

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • July 29, 2019 at 2:17 pm #305569
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Sylvia:

    “Why is it that when I logically know I don’t like anything about his personality and he’s broken my heart countless time, I find the news of him  being with someone new so soul crushing?”-

    – because you got emotionally attached to him. Emotional attachment has nothing to do with logic. Once it was formed, it will be difficult to separate from the object of attachment. It happens in the animal world, the young attached to their mothers, animals in a social group attached to each other. Nothing to do with logic. It is nature.

    “How can I let him go?”- eliminate contact, personal, social media, even mutual friends. And then, make a new male friend, notice I wrote friend, not boyfriend, or lover. Get to know a new young man as a friend. Take it slow, make it fun. Over time, you will get emotionally attached to a better boyfriend candidate, one who is not likely to hurt you.

    anita

    July 29, 2019 at 4:37 pm #305599
    Mark
    Participant

    Sylvia,

    I go with anita is suggesting, i.e. eliminate all direct and indirect contact with him.  You can let him go by living your life fully.  As the saying goes, “The best revenge is a life well lived.”   Focus on the activities and friends that nourish you.  Go out and enjoy life.

    Mark

    July 29, 2019 at 6:48 pm #305603
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thank you so much Anita. I agree with everything you said. I blocked him on all social media (something I’ve been putting off forever) and deleted his number from my phone… after three years of having access to these means of contact I think that’s a big step.  The act of deleting him digitally is another layer of loss but I know this pain will subside. Thank you for your advice and support.

    July 29, 2019 at 6:50 pm #305605
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thank you Mark, I greatly appreciate the insight. Learning how to enjoy life is something I need to work on.

    July 30, 2019 at 8:27 am #305659
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Sylvia. If you’d like, post again anytime, with your thoughts and feelings regarding moving on. I will be glad to read and reply to you if and when you post.

    anita

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