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Are Romantic Relationships Necessary?

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • July 11, 2017 at 5:33 pm #157556
    Myles
    Participant

    So, as I said in my first post, I found this website almost a year ago now as I was trying to heal from a relationship that ended disastrously (mostly because of me), and I’m now a better person because that happened to me. I’ve tried my best to make peace with what happened, but sometimes I think that (and I’m only 17 and haven’t been in a relationship with a person I actually have a connection with, so perhaps I’ll change my mind) people often joke about “dying alone”, and the way I see it, if you’re comfortable with yourself, is that really such a bad thing? I guess what I’m asking is, is it detrimental to never have a romantic relationship?

    July 11, 2017 at 6:46 pm #157568
    Cruzzie
    Participant

    I don’t think it is detrimental not having a romantic relationship, but I also believe that relationships in life are necessary. They do not have to be romantic. There are people in the world that form very close, intimate yet non-romantic/sexual relationships with others (eg. asexuals).  Are they happy and comfortable by themselves? I would think so. Do they go their entire lives never having a romantic relationship? That, I don’t know.

    However, I do think we all want to feel connected to others and its not something we can necessarily avoid unless we are actively doing so. Ultimately, I think that ends up being a negative thing in the long run. Being alone is part of life, and yes, we all must die alone, but I don’t think accepting that is the same as settling and never trying to seek relationships and friendships. And just because you haven’t connected with someone on a deep enough level to feel comfortable establishing a romantic relationship doesn’t mean you won’t, it just means it hasn’t happened yet.

    July 12, 2017 at 10:44 am #157668
    PearceHawk
    Participant

    Myles I agree 100% with Cruzzie when she said, “And just because you haven’t connected with someone on a deep enough level to feel comfortable establishing a romantic relationship doesn’t mean you won’t, it just means it hasn’t happened yet.” You are 17 my friend and there is much ahead of you in terms of finding that romantic relationship. There is no hurry. Relationships come and go and between each relationship is a HUGE opportunity to learn. Because you said, “’I’m now a better person,” this is a gift you have in recognizing that, and that will enable you to continue to grow, learn how to be better as you do grow and experience relationships. With regards to “people often joke about “dying alone”, that comment ignores a much healthier, happier option-living. I believe it is healthier to think about how you want to live your life, be the better person that you continue to strive for, than to preoccupy your thoughts on “dying alone.” But again, please think about what Cruzzie said, “And just because you haven’t connected with someone on a deep enough level to feel comfortable establishing a romantic relationship doesn’t mean you won’t, it just means it hasn’t happened yet.” I truly believe that those words are a very solid rock to stand on.

    Pearce

    July 12, 2017 at 5:20 pm #157824
    Myles
    Participant

    I don’t really feel like I’m jumping at the chance to be in a relationship, I feel pretty ambivalent about them at times, the relationship that led me to this site ended over a year and a half ago (it’s a complex situation I might explain in another post, it’s also quite personal) and in that time I’ve went from feeling bitter about relationships to yearning to be in one to being bitter again and then feeling indifferent about them. I dunno, I sometimes I feel as if it’s a societal expectation for people to be in a relationship (also not saying people are only in relationships because they’re forced to) and that being  happily single is a foreign concept nowadays. Thank you for the replies 😀

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