Hi Name,

My medicine cabinet is currently bare, but I do believe there is a time and a place for medication. If your anger is controlling and ruining your life and relationships, what would you think of talking to your doctor about it?

Blessings,

Inky

• This reply was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by Inky.

Hi Name,
I can empathize with what you are going through. There is not an easy 1 solution to get through anger, bitterness, strife, blame, jealously, depression, stress which I have experienced profusely in the past. Life events have been a major cause of me going through those emotions and losing most of my relationships, friendships, etc… and I’ve let those get the best of me and letting people have it. I have scared most of female acquaintances that could have led up to become my soul mate and I have scared them away because of my short temper. It has taken me a long time to get over my uncontrolled temper is by learning to mature and control my own emotions. Have I perfected controlling my emotion? Not fully, but learning to overcome and letting go of self-destructing negative emotions I have gotten better at.
Some of the things I’ve learned to do is pray. I am a Christian and I have learned to pray which has helped me and let go of my inner-demons.
There is a useful section here on this website. If you go to the Quotes section and click on the anger, attitudes, acceptance, comparison, criticism, jealousy, etc… categories. Read them, there is great wisdom there. Meditate on the meaning of each quote every day.
I have also had to build my self-esteem, build my self-worth, build my self-confidence, build my self-acceptance, etc… and work with these one at a time. This is not a 30 day task. I have done these things, until I’ve learned to love myself again, feel proud about myself, feel like talking to people again, until I have built positive momentum in my life. I have also learned to breathe through the negative emotions I have experienced. I breathe through the negative emotion and I let the emotion takes it’s course. I verbalize in my head and say “ok strife, I am feeling you. Take your own course. Do what you need to do.” By doing that I can let go of that emotion by feeling it. Does it work all the time? It depends on how strong the emotion is. But it does alleviate some of the pressure.

I personally wouldn’t recommend doing medication because the withdrawal from depression medications are terrible and can worsen your relationships with people because you get irritated more easily. I was prescribed Paxil and when I stopped taking Paxil I got irritated easily which accounted for my divorce because of my strife and anger from my irritability. Those of the secondary effects of withdrawing from that type of medication.

I would recommend building friendships with people who understand your problem and are there to support you and are a positive influence with you.

These are some things that I have done. They are not the best solution, but they do have helped me improve my maturity and control of destructive emotions.

Dear Name:

It will be important then, if you do consider a therapist or counselor, that it will be a very nice, gentle, patient, non-intimidating person. A person who will make you feel welcome and good, make you feel that all your thoughts and feelings are acceptable. A therapist who will lead you to believe that really, it is okay for you to feel your anger, that there is a valid message behind it. And he/ she will help you get to that message.

It is hurt underneath the message, and once you realize it and be okay with it, then the anger will lose its intensity.

But yes, the therapist will have to be someone very gentle with you, very kind to you; someone you will feel safe with, not danger.

anita

Dear Name:

I think it is best too. Hope you get a competent, caring therapist to work with. It helped me a whole lot, started my own healing process.

anita