Dear Savannah:

You asked if you are selfish. To be selfish means to disregard others, to not be considerate of others.

To take care of yourself- that is not selfish. To be primarily concerned with your own well-being- that is not selfish.

And so, there is no indication in your share above that you are being selfish. It is your valid responsibility to take care of yourself so that you are well.

If his mother is terminally ill, what is her medical prognosis? If she has little time left, a lot about your life will change: you might travel with your boyfriend as you planned before and figure out where to live. And so, her prognosis is very important in making an informed choice: to leave or stay, isn’t it?

anita

Dear @Savannah,

I believe if you gave up your life and happiness for somebody you love then it would be selfish on their part. Your BF will not be happy knowing you are not happy giving up your life to be with him and in the end it will only hurt both of you. I’m sure his focus is taking care of his mom and he cannot give you the attention you need to settle into this new life. If you really love your BF you will support him by being honest with him on how you feel and you should still show compassion to his mom and respect her by showing her that you geniunely care for her son and her but if she does not see that do no stress the situation on your BF more and let her be.

You need to do what is best for yourself and do what will make you happy first because how can you be happy with your BF if you do not like the life you’re living there now? You find your own happiness and if it was meant to be and if he loves you then maybe later on it’ll work out. Time is everything and maybe right now it is time for you to go back and do what makes you happy and reconsider things when things are settled again.

I hope that helps and follow what your heart tells you even if it’s hard because you have to do what’s best for you in the long run.