Home→Forums→Tough Times→Alone and unloved
- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by
Nick.
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July 3, 2015 at 6:31 pm #79186
ElleParticipantIt’s been nearly 5 months since he dumped me. It’s been a roller coaster. I’ve tried to ride it out and pour myself into other things – work mostly- but overall I have become more depressed and struggle to find joy in anything. This is a long holiday weekend, and I am alone and incredibly depressed and the memory of the break up and how it happened and how much I still miss are all coming back like and avalanche. I’m so tired and just can’t go on any more. I feel like there’s no way out of this misery. I wish I would just die in my sleep tonight.
July 4, 2015 at 12:04 am #79188
ChrisParticipantI’ve been going through something similar over the past couple of months, and the only advice that I can give is to take it all day by day, moment by moment. Journaling has helped me immensely. It’s a great creative outlet that allows me to unravel my thoughts and start to get to the root of all of my issues.
It might also help to remember that you did have a life before him, and you WILL have a life after him. Recognize how important you are, that you have your own gifts to share with the world and maybe take some time to spoil yourself a little bit, if that’s what it takes to get you back to your happy place.
Friends are also a great outlet. If you have good people in your life, lean on them.
All the best. Sending positivity your way.
July 4, 2015 at 3:03 am #79189
AnonymousInactiveHello Elle,
I am sorry you are incredibly depressed but the good news is that we are here to guide you and lead you back into light and love. You are never alone, there are people out there that love you a lot believe it or not. Sometimes we get so caught up with life that we forget we have people that have loved us along the way or in the past. We just forget that they were part of our journey. Never hurts to reach out to people you’ve lost touch with, as I’ve had many many friends that have lost touch with me and then a year or 2 years later they would reach to me/contact me by phone. A simple text message or phone call. People who go out of their way to contact you when they’ve lost touch with you, are people that truly love you & value you as person. Those are the kinds of people you always want to have around in your life forever.
It’s respectable if you want time alone but it’s also okay to reach out to a friend that loves and cares about you. I don’t ever look at that as a friend being weak ever or trying to bother me when they need emotional support. Everybody needs someone to be close to for awhile and spend time with, even if they aren’t depressed. When a friend is in need and she reaches out to me, I am always happy to be there as we all know what it’s like to go through rough times in our lives. Maybe you can get a hold of him and ask if you two can have a heart to heart discussion. It’s completely normal to miss him as loving him is now a part you. The people we have loved in our past, will always be a part of us/you no matter what happens in life. Never give up and definitely never give up hope because miracles happen every day and if you believe in love, than you shall receive an abundance of love back.
What you give out is what you receive, so just know that you are never alone. You are love & you are light! <3
There is so much more to life than ending it because you feel that nobody loves you because what I can tell you, is that love is all around you. Just open your eyes a little bit more and you will see that love awaits you. You are beautiful & you are love and you are also deserving of giving & receiving love. I am confident you will have the love you are truly seeking, as long as you believe you are deserving of it. It will be there for you always.
I am sending you a bunch of love, light, hugs and positivity your way. I believe in you, so NEVER give up.
All my love & light to you…Xo
July 4, 2015 at 5:35 am #79190AnonymousInactiveThis song is for you, to remind you that you are never alone. <3 https://youtu.be/2rALVgdoMHk
July 4, 2015 at 7:17 am #79191
InkyParticipantHi Elle,
I would make a list of all the things, people and places you liked before him. List thirty things/people/places!! I’m serious.
Then list thirty things, people and places you wanted or planned to see/enjoy in the future that have nothing to do with him!
When you do this you should feel an inspired burst of happiness and optimism.
Then, do and see those things/people/places!
Good Luck!
Inky
July 5, 2015 at 1:15 am #79262
Richard KronickParticipantDear Elle,
My heart truly goes out to you, as I know exactly how you feel. I promise, this too shall pass. And though it is very hard to see how, this will almost certainly turn out to be something that makes you stronger and better.
Life can be difficult, there is no doubt about it. And relationships can be one of the toughest aspects of life.
Years ago, when I felt the same as you, I never would have imagined that all the pain and difficulty that I was going through would end up making me so much better at relationships. What I went through trained me to be a better and more succeessful partner.
You’re hurting and you are at a crossroads. I have a recommendation for you and I am recommedning this because it greatly transformed me when I was feeling like you are.
As much as possible, when anything happens to you, or at any time you feel bad or think negative, say the following, out loud:
“Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever.”
It may seem counter-intuitive to say this when you feel like life has been cruel to you, and it may be hard to say at first, but I urge you to give it a shot. Again and again say this and you will marvel at how quickly you can see the beauty of life again!
I wish you love and joy!
Richard
July 8, 2015 at 4:47 am #79494
NickParticipantI’m really sorry you feel like this. I think depression is an illness and needs to be treated. Anti-depressants have helped me to fight depression, and I’ve also had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which can help. Counselling may be another option. You absolutely can get through it, but it is very tough.
I think you need to let go of your ex-partner and keep telling yourself you *can* be happy without them, but it will take time and effort and a willingness to change. This may be very difficult when you are depressed.
I was recently dumped and am still struggling but my relationship only lasted a short while. It was very important to me though, I hadn’t had one for 13 years before it. I really loved them and often fear I won’t find anyone else (I have chronic fatigue). I have had to accept that while they seem perfect for me, they don’t want me, so they cannot be right for me. I need love in return. I have realized that I need to change certain things in my life, and although I don’t particularly want to sometimes, I *have* to try new things and create possibilities for me to grow. I have to reach out and not fear rejection, or at least cope with it. Regularly reassuring myself, telling myself I will be happy, I will cope – this is helpful for me. I have lost touch with friends over time, but I am trying to send them messages and a few of them are responding.
Although it still feels weird, looking at a dating site (OK Cupid) is helping me look to the future, in time perhaps it could help you. It can also be painful but for me it’s part of my moving on. These articles have helped me, particularly the first one:
How to Let Go of a Past Relationship: 10 Steps to Move On Peacefully
Good luck. I hope you feel a little better very soon.
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