Dear anita,

last weekend I returned from my travels, sorry I did not post before. Everything is fine with me, and how are you doing?

It was nice at the sea. We had mixed weather, which I like best. On two days we just were bathing at the beach, but more pure beach days would have been too much! On other days we went biking, one day my brother and I biked together 26 km to go to a museum. Also, I collected wild rose petals for my tea, went walking at the beach and on one day we went to an island.

At my parents place everything went good as well. I have collected more herbs for me tea and I even found wild mint! And in some places, where I suppose people had mowed the grass, smaller nettles grew, so I was able to make nettle bread. This time it turned out really well and soft. On another day we went hiking with my mother and on some rainy days I binge watched a TV show. Because of the rain the river was very full of water, so I did not dare to go to the stone in the river. But I am glad it rained, because during the draught of the last years, lots of trees died and the bark beetles did a lot of damage.

So now I am back at the city. Everything is o.K. The fist work day went o.K. and I am back at working on my projects.

At the moment I am not sure if I want to continue posting on the accountability thread every day. Often I worry about too much information being shared and also I still did not overcome the problems of procrastination. I want to think more about it. But I am very thankful for your help and support during all of these years!

Dear anita,

good to hear that you are fine! The global warming is indeed concerning, the bark beetles and dried out trees reminded me of that. Here it is a bit rainier this year than the years before. Hopefully the wildfires will be less this year! I remember you sharing about them last year.

Posting here is not disadvantageous to me, it actually helped me to stabilize myself when I was in crisis mode during last winter. Back then I was feeling so terrible, like I was wrong and bad. Focusing on my goals instead of thinking of the past helped. And being able to talk to you also helped.

But my initial goal of being this productive person did not come true. It only worked in the beginning, then I fell back into my old habits. And sometimes I worry that someone who knows me could read all of my threads and then they would probably think of me as crazy. Or having so much info about me on the web makes me also feel a bit uneasy. I am not sure.

But I thank you for your well wishes and I hope you know that you helped me so much onmy path and on making progress!

Dear anita,

thank you for your reassurance! As we know I have a slight tendency to worry too much… But yes, The thoughts do come up from time to time. But there is probably no reason to worry.

I am not entirely sure if I will get by completely without posting here ever again, but if this is the last time I post, I also want to say goodbye! Thank you for your kind words, it made me feel good to be reminded of my positive qualities. And thanks again for always listening and helping me and so many others. It is a good feeling to know that there is someone who will reply, even though the situation seems so messy and you fear that people will only judge you. But you listened and showed compassion! Yes, this was very important to me, to hear another perspective and honest opinion regarding my problems, instead of being ignored or talked about. Only other people, one of them you, looking at me with compassion helped me to start having more compassion with myself and understanding things better. You really put so much time and effort into your posts, often going through old threads again and again. You really care to help! You also are a good and honest person making the world better! Thank you for everything and if we don’t hear of each other again, I wish you well and a good and happy life!