I know just how you feel as I have abusive parents and I know that they hate me more than just not caring for me. But you know what- it really doesn’t bother me! Because I feel the same way back about them because they are in the wrong. However that’s not the point of what I’m trying to say. I think its really important for you to remember that its not your loss at all that they don’t care, you are not the one who should be feeling sorry or upset- they are. This is because you were a child in the family and therefore also part of the future of the family even if there were other children, their own children. For example, if you become really successful in your career, say, you end up famous or something then at the time they can’t come and say ‘yeah, that’s my girl!’ as much as they’ll want to. Even if you don’t end up famous, you will still go on to do really well and no matter what its their loss.

If I were you I think the best thing to do therefore is to just leave it and maybe one day he’ll realize and if he doesn’t then their loss at the end of the day. But if you want then maybe try talking to him about it directly and see what he says.

Are they this way with everyone? He seems fairly passive. Not that this advice will make you feel better.. but. Your parents are not perfect. And we can’t expect our parents to be. Was your father raised in a loving home? What was his life like? I’m almost certain that his past is what created who he is today, it goes that way for all of us. It’s just a matter of fact that some of us don’t want to be a part of a pattern, we want more. So what do you do? Accept your father and stepmother for who they are. I think at this point you really need to find some sort of peace (for yourself and your family) so you can be okay with how they treat you. Not saying you’re permitting their behavior, but you’ll get to a point where it won’t surprise you what they have to say (or lack there of) and you’ll be okay with it. It’s a painful process, I find myself really struggling to let go of some things my parents have done. It’s not easy to do but nothing worth doing is. Sometimes reading all kinds of books and articles just doesn’t help. I think facing things head on is a good way to go about it. Good luck and remember some times people do things the way they do them because that’s all they know.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by cagedbirdie.