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A disgusting joke about my boobs that my FRIEND laughed at???

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • February 21, 2019 at 3:33 pm #281275
    Mark
    Participant

    Serife,

    I am sorry about your harassment especially when it comes from “friends.” Unfortunately that you are feeling worthless based on the disrespect and misogamy of those around you.  Saying such degrading things and hide behind “it’s just a joke” is cowardly.

    You don’t say how old are you but that’s irrelevant for this happens in every culture at every age unfortunately.

    #MeToo

    Home

    Go find the resources that can assist you in this.

    It’s all about standing up for yourself and setting boundaries.  Easy to say. Hard to do.  Good that you called out your “friend” on going along with the others and laughing.  Good for you for declaring that you indeed have the perfect right to be mad.

    Get the support around you (in person) and online (MeToo) so that you won’t tolerate such behavior from ANYone, much less your “friends.”

    Mark

    February 21, 2019 at 8:05 pm #281307
    Soph
    Participant

    Thank u very much for your response it makes my feeling of betrayal and anger feel righteous. The reaction my friend gave made it seem as though I was exaggerating and that it really was not a big deal so I felt stupid for reacting confrontational.

    i didn’t even realise I hadn’t included my age I’m 16.  But thank you for giving me a sense of closure in the fact that I had not reacted badly

    kind regards,,

    a greatful teen.

     

    February 22, 2019 at 7:16 pm #281449
    Joe
    Participant

    To add my own two cents even though you might not like it too much, I think you did slightly over react. Though I can understand that over reaction if you’ve been sexually assaulted. Conditioning through bullying though out my life has caused me to over react to the some of the smallest things. I know this isn’t what you want to hear but in my experience if you take every slight like that seriously then it ends up making you more and more sensitive. I try my best to not take things so seriously now and it’s hard + doesn’t always work but i think in general for people that get hyper sensitive that it’s for the best. In general people like us have to get used to over reacting and feeling like idiots sometimes.

    Also if you want some perspective on a guy’s side of friendship with the other sex. Sometimes it’s hard to not be attracted or to keep your attraction away from your decisions as a dude. I’ve had trouble being friends with girls for this same reason. It’s almost torture if you suddenly end up attracted but are scared about ruining the friendship as a guy. I still haven’t figured it out myself.

    February 22, 2019 at 9:07 pm #281461
    Hey Its Jess
    Participant

    Dear Serife,

    I can relate to you on so many levels, you don’t even know girl.

     

    The thing is, just like Joe said its hard for guys to act ‘gentleman-ly’ especially around girls they feel attracted out. And when they are with their other teenage friends, they don’t wanna be the odd one out by not laughing at indecent jokes. (your friend who laughed)

    Now I ain’t saying that you overreacted or need to “control” your emotions. It is OK when you rightfully felt hurt and dejected. I hate it when guys comment about me in that way too…it kinda breaks me. Next time, a thing like that happens I just want you to pause for a moment and breath in and out. Understand that it isn’t your fault and they are gonna say stuff no matter what we wear or do so its fine. We can’t control them. What we can control is our attitude towards the situation. As for your friend, distance yourself from him until you feel ok.

    February 24, 2019 at 2:42 am #281503
    Mark
    Participant

    Joe,

    Coming from a dude, my take is you have no right or no real perspective on whether or not she “overreacted.”

    Everyone’s feelings are valid especially if she was sexually assaulted.

    Her male “friend” who did not stand up to her sexual harassment and assault is cowardly. Plus he did not empathize.  He even laughed and showed blatant disregard of her trauma.

    Her “overreaction” was very much appropriate.

     

    Mark

     

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