9 months on, still not over my ex

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This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by Cyd.

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May 19, 2014 at 3:02 pm #56595

Katy
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My ex and I broke up nearly 9 months ago. It was a sudden break up and left me devastated. 3 months ago he said he wanted to give it another go then 2 days later said he had changed his mind because he didn’t find me attractive anymore and I was ‘boring’. I still work in the same place as him, we don’t see each other everyday but do occasionally bump into each other. As we work together we have a lot of mutual friends, most of them I have been friends with longer than him. To begin with they were supportive more to me because of the way he treated me. Now they have started spending more time with him. Every time I log onto my Facebook I see them out together doing things out of work, when they tell me they’re only friends with him because they have to work with him. He’s always saying things to them trying to turn them against me. At the weekend I saw he was having a conversation on Facebook with one of my close friends who he has told me in the past he fancies. Basically it was very flirty. I completely over reacted and went mental at her and some others. Now they are not talking to me. I feel stupid and lonelier than ever and feel like I have proved to him that I’m a crazy ex (which I think I am) I have deleted my fb account because I can’t deal with seeing it anymore.

May 19, 2014 at 3:39 pm #56597

Inky
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There’s a Podcast called Things Your Mother Never Told You. I think it’s great. One show I was entranced with was on “Crazy” Women. A lot of women have been through this:

“Why did you break up?”

“Oh, she was Crazy.”

“Crazy” dismisses women. You might have real concerns, but God forbid you show any emotion, or you are written off as “Crazy”.

Good for you for deleting your FB. You will have more peace in your life.

At the office/around town act normal. And when asked say, “I’m not crazy. He MADE me crazy!” and laugh it off. Apologize as needed.

I am sorry he is “friend poaching”.

May 19, 2014 at 5:36 pm #56601

@Jasmine-3
Participant

Hi Katy, sorry I do not have any valuable advice but good on you for deleting your FB account. The more you surround yourself with “personal insults” from different sources (Fb, goss from friends etc), the harder it gets to move forward in life with pride. Let this guy go. There are many fish in this world and one of them will bring loads of happiness and love into your life. You need to be kind to yourself for that to occur.

I must have had my heart broken a few times before I found my lovely husband and you know what – he is worth all the heart brokenness I went through and I am so glad for those incidents and guys as they helped me find me 🙂 wouldnt change a thing of the past now lol.

Inky @inky, you are truly a hilarious being. Love your take on things 🙂 thanks for putting a huge smile on my face :))))))))

May 19, 2014 at 5:39 pm #56602

Inky
Participant

Thanks, @Jasmine-3! 😀

May 20, 2014 at 2:53 am #56623

Tracey
Participant

Hi just reading your story 🙁 it is very hard when a relationship ends as im sure we have all been there. Even worse I would imagine when your ex is hitting on a freind and anyway if she was a friend she would not be flirting with him at all. So let them both go and stuff themselves hehe……
But the lonely thing you talk off is the worst bit, loneliness can eat you up and send you on a downward spiral. Have you a good family structure? Or best friend you can talk to about things?
Sending hugs your ways xx

May 20, 2014 at 2:12 pm #56657

Jobebee
Participant

Heya,

although it is hard I would recommend trying to find some more friends, maybe take up a new hobby? You need to see this a brilliant opportunity to work on yourself, do what you want and learn and grow. I recently saw a video on youtube (actualised.org) which talked about co-independent and dependant relationships and might help you figure out what to do next. There is no right thing to do. You have to forgive yourself for acting the way you did (we all would probably do the same!… after all he sounds like a douche).

Here’s the link…

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgeicB5AuF3MyyUto0-M5Lw

hope it helps!

oh, and this always helps me when I’m having trouble…

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/05/everything-the-buddha-ever-taught-in-2-words/

xx

May 20, 2014 at 4:14 pm #56663

Cyd
Participant

Hi Katy,

I have been where you are. Totally mistreated and treated so cheaply as if I didn’t matter to them. It took me a while to accept how I was treated but once I did I no longer allowed them to control my life or try to control them by making them realize how they treated me. The best thing to do is deactivate your FB as you have done already but don’t let that control your life. If you want to, get back on there and delete any and everybody whom you think will hinder your healing process right now. I mean let’s be honest, who would want to see or hear about your past over and over again?! Keep Pressing! 🙂
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