Advice please

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This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by Christine.

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April 27, 2017 at 3:56 pm #147045
Nicole
Participant
Greetings

There is someone that I was seeing casually and he started to fade away. I finally asked if he was still interested and he said he was getting back with his ex. I never responded to that text. Didn’t know what to say.

As I have had time to think. Is it okay to let him know if it does not work out maybe we can try again?

I see him twice a week.

A friend says I just tell him and leave the ball in his court.

Thanks.
- This topic was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Nicole.
April 27, 2017 at 4:23 pm #147057
Quinn Martin
Participant
Well, uh.. I’ll give an answer proportionally accurate with the amount of information I have received but from what I can tell why wouldn’t it be okay to let him know you would want to try again.

Thing is here though, I didn’t receive any information concerning his personality, from the little info I have received about him he just sounds like a totally fine guy, though he could just as well be a total douchebag.

It all depends on his personality hun, also try to assess what he sees in you, I mean I can say whatever I want but if he doesn’t actually see anything in you then who am I to decide for you, you see?

So try to assess for yourself whether he cares about you. Buh do I really have to explain this to you.
So basically if he’s always sweet to you but when his male friends come around and he treats you like dirt that’s a preeeeeeeetty obvious red flag.
And if you want to find out what a person is truly like pay attention to how he treats strangers, or basically anyone he doesn’t “need” to show respect to.

Hope this helps xDD if you have any more questions you just post them in here 🙂 if I dissapear for months on end again I’m sure Anita will post a reply for you 🙂 see you later.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Quinn Martin.
April 27, 2017 at 5:15 pm #147065

Nicole
Participant

Hi Quinn

Thanks for your reply.

He is my trainer. We have worked together for a year. We would run together sometimes to get ready for races. He would text me while on vacation with his GF .. this was right before they broke up.

He texted me everyday for about 2 months and then started to fade and that is when I asked what is going on.

April 27, 2017 at 8:31 pm #147077

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Nicole:

My advice: do not offer him to maybe get together if his relationship doesn’t work out.

Reason: If you had a boyfriend, would you like it that another woman would tell your boyfriend: “if it doesn’t work out with Nicole, maybe you and I can get together?” (I wouldn’t like it).

If it doesn’t work out yet again with his girlfriend, then, maybe approach him then, but make sure he is really done with his previous relationship, that he is not in the off phase of an on-again-off-again relationship.

anita

April 28, 2017 at 5:09 am #147091

Inky
Participant

Hi Nicole,

My advice is to let the text lie. And find a new trainer.

Seriously.

If you never texted him you would never know he was getting back together with the ex? And he gets to see you and be your trainer?

It sounds like he views you as a commodity.

When he texts you and asks if everything’s fine text back that you’re getting back with your old trainer.

Best,

Inky

April 30, 2017 at 7:24 am #147367

Christine
Participant

Wow!!! May I just say how impressive Inky’s insight?! I wouldn’t have come to it but it sure does make some sense!!! Fits the description of the facts! Pretty cool, what a person can learn at this forum!! hehehe Shame I didn’t have such a place to go to when I was facing situations and circumstances like this one (all people do at one or another time, I think – the commodity thing being not unusual in human relationships, sadly ….).

A big thank you to everyone here for sharing and caring! 😀 😀

Namaste!

Christine
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