fbpx
Menu

Posts tagged with “Peace”

How to Bring a Little Peace to Your Mind

By

Dysfunctional Family Survivors: 7 Myths that Hold Your Healing Hostage

By

“I have never known a patient to portray their parents more negatively than they actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively–because idealization of their parents was essential for their survival.” Alice Miller, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society’s Betrayal of the Child

If we’re born into dysfunctional families and, by some miracle, manage to recognize there’s something really wrong there, we can end up devoting a huge portion of our time on Earth (if not all of it) to piecemealing a life not defined by the despair and pain we felt as children.

…

Coming out of Survival Mode: How I Healed and Found Peace

By

“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” ~Audre Lorde

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when I realized that I no longer needed to fight for my survival, but I do know that it came after several years of prayer, healing, and intensive work. It wasn’t an event, but rather the feeling of peace and calm that comes after a storm.

For me, the storm dissipated slowly. It was the kind of storm that kept swirling and re-emerging until I finally realized that it would take concentrated …

How I Calm My Anxiety Octopus at Home with My Aquaponics Zen Zone

By

“Stay in the moment. The practice of staying present will heal you. Obsessing about how the future will turn out creates anxiety. Replaying broken scenarios from the past causes anger and sadness. Stay here, in this moment.” ~Sylvester McNutt

Like many people, I have an anxiety disorder that twists my thoughts and feelings. I call it my “anxiety octopus,” as it feels like there are tentacles in my brain triggering fear-based reactions for no reason. In everything, even things that I am confident in, I suddenly feel insecure and unsure.

It takes time to realize that the “anxiety octopus” has …

Meditation Simplified: How to Find Calm in Our Chaotic World

By

“Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I completed my meditation teacher training in 2022 and continue to practice two to three times each day.

I was initially skeptical of what this practice could possibly offer me. But, as someone who had been riddled with daily anxiety, periodic bouts of depression, and an exhausting inability to maintain focus that left me depleted energetically, I was keen to learn more and discover for myself …

How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed by Other People’s Strong Emotions

By

“It is not your responsibility to figure out what someone else is feeling and why. Let go of the illusion that ‘fixing’ their bad mood will make you feel better.” ~Sarah Crosby

Some years ago, I was talking to my husband on the phone. He sounded annoyed about something to do with his work, but I noticed an intense emotional reaction in myself. Immediately, my heart contracted and my stomach lurched. I could feel a runaway train of emotions activate within me.

My whole body was awash with nausea, and I felt so very uncomfortable. 

This was a familiar and …

How I Found Peace After Feeling Disregarded and Disrespected

By

“Self-care is also not arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” ~Ayishat A. Akanbi⠀

It was an early evening in late June of 2020. My housemate and I were eating sushi in our backyard while crickets tuned up for their nightly symphony around us.

To our right loomed a voluminous green tree, imposing in height but with a texture (furry and cuddly like a Sesame Street character) that made it seem friendly.

I could’ve really used a friendly creature right then.

Hours earlier we’d found out that our housemate—who’d contracted COVID while on vacation with a fourth housemate—would …

Why I Quit Beast Mode and How I Traded Burnout for Peace and Balance

By

“Beast mode.” Sounds pretty badass, doesn’t it?

It’s like an adrenaline-fueled battle cry, a call to arms. It’s a way of life that’s all about giving every single thing you’ve got to every single thing you do.

For most of my life, I lived this mantra—and prided myself for living this way.

In fact, I had a sticker on my bathroom mirror with the words “beast mode” that I stared at all the time. It was my constant reminder to be all in, every single day, pushing harder, reaching further.

But here’s the reality check: Life isn’t supposed to be …

How I Embraced Alcohol-Free Living: 4 Things That Made It Easier

By

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” ~Abraham Maslow

A few years ago I decided to take a break from alcohol, and I also decided I would probably be lonely, miserable, and boring for the duration of my break.

I’d allowed a lot of social conditioning to affect me, and I was sure people who didn’t drink either had no friends, had hit a drastic rock-bottom, or had no fun. I didn’t know if I was going to find happiness or even contentment on the other side of my drinking career, and …

The Older I Get, the Less I Hold Grudges

By

How I Claimed My Right to Belong While Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

By

TRIGGER WARNING: This post briefly references sexual abuse.

“Never hold yourself back from trying something new just because you’re afraid you won’t be good enough. You’ll never get the opportunity to do your best work if you’re not willing to first do your worst and then let yourself learn and grow.” ~Lori Deschene

The year 2022 was the hardest of my life. And I survived a brain tumor before that.

My thirtieth year started off innocently enough. I was living with my then-boyfriend in Long Beach and had a nice ring on my finger. The relationship had developed quickly, but …

How To Make Peace with Regrets: 4 Steps That Help Me Let Go

By

“Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

The other day, I told my adult niece that I regretted selling my downtown condo several years ago.

“On no,” she said. “You told me back then that you were finding the lack of light was getting to you. You weren’t happy there.”

I had no memory of that until she reminded me. And surprisingly, it lifted a great deal of my painful regret around it. It helped me change from regret to recognition that I’d made the right decision.

That got …

Looking Back: The Silver Linings of the Pandemic and Why I’m Grateful

By

“You gotta look for the good in the bad, the happy in the sad, the gain in your pain, and what makes you grateful, not hateful.” ~Karen Salmansohn

The 2010 decade was difficult for me. Hardly a year went by without someone close to me passing away.

When the tragic decade started, I was in the midst of my residency training and free time was a luxury I did not have. When I graduated and became an attending physician, I was too busy caring for patients on my own to take a break.

In 2018, my world was shattered …

30 Simple Mindfulness Practices to Help You Focus and Be Present

By

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~ThĂ­ch Nháș„t HáșĄnh, Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Do you ever feel like you’re too busy for meditation?

You understand the benefits, and you’d really like to commit to it. But you’re a busy person. You have deadlines to meet, food to prepare, bills to pay, kids to raise, family members to call—and even that’s barely scratching the surface.

We’ve all been there. I certainly have.

Before I found mindfulness, I struggled with concentration for …

If You Stay Silent About the Problem

By

7 False Beliefs That Will Keep You Trapped in Your Head Forever

By

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” ~Anthony de Mello

When people come to me suffering from anxiety, fear, anger, self-judgment etc., there are five things they invariably believe to be true.

Let’s take anxiety as an example. Most (if not all) people with anxiety believe that:

1. It’s bad or wrong to feel anxious.
2. It shouldn’t be there.
3. There’s something wrong with me (for being anxious).
4. My mind should be peaceful.
5. I …

How to Let Go of Your Need to Be Informed at all Times

By

“Don’t mistake being informed by trusting what you hear or read in the news. The most trusted information is what you feel in your gut.” ~Charles F Glassman

I was in my kitchen enjoying breakfast when a report about a murder was mentioned as one of the headlines on the radio news.

One of my boys started to ask me questions, none of which I could answer. They were questions about a detail of the murder, which I didn’t know, and also about bigger life issues, which at 7 a.m., I was struggling to get my head around.

I chose …

Mindful Forgiveness: 4 Steps to Unlock the Healing Power of Your Mind

By

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~Steve Maraboli

The key to healing is learning to let go of negative thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness will allow you to be aware of your thoughts and feelings; forgiveness will help in letting them go.

Simple as it is in theory, putting it into practice may be harder.

Mindfulness, being aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment, is not that difficult. But the trick is to do it amidst …

3 Things That Turned My Suffering into Blissful Peace

By

“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor

I’d just spent over six years trapped in my own worst nightmare. Then in a split second, my whole reality shifted to an experience of exquisite peace and bliss. Walking through the streets of my home city, I seemed to be radiating unconditional love out and into everything around me.

I didn’t know it then, but I’d just tasted the ultimate state of …

10 Ways to Calm Anxious Thoughts and Soothe Your Nervous System

By

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~Jack Canfield

Freezing in fear is something I have done since I was a child.

My first home was an unsafe one, living with my alcoholic granddad. Once upon a time, I didn’t know life without fear.

I learned young to scan for danger. How were everyone’s moods? Were the adults okay today? I would freeze and be still and quiet in an attempt to keep myself safe and control an eruption.

Unknown to me, between the ages of conception and seven years old, my nervous system was being programmed. …