Tiny Buddha

Tag: passion

  • Life Is Short—Don’t Wait to Do What You’ve Always Dreamed of Doing

    Life Is Short—Don’t Wait to Do What You’ve Always Dreamed of Doing

    “Life is short. Say what you’ve wanted to say. Do what you’ve wanted to do. Don’t wait until the only thing you can say is, I wish I’d had the courage to do it sooner.” ~Lori Deschene

    Lunch hour.

    Escaping the stale, re-circulated air of my office, I fled down Main Street in pursuit of freedom from the routine of the day.

    A rusty bell clanged against the door of a dusty used bookstore when I pushed it open.

    Scanning the horizon of bulging shelves and teetering stacks of magazines, my eyes suddenly met his and my heart began to race.

    They were the blazing orange eyes of an African lion on the dog-eared, sun-faded cover of a National Geographic magazine.

    I hadn’t seen those eyes in thirty years, but their impact on me hadn’t faded.

    As a kid I use to spend hours dreaming within the pages of these very magazines before cutting out pictures of unsuspecting lions and elephants to carry them around in a small wicker basket—a somewhat seventies version of a vision board.

    One Sunday night, I brought a three-page book I had written about these magical creatures, complete with pasted-in cut-outs, to the dining room table where everyone had gathered for dinner.

    Feeling proud with accomplishment, I handed it to my dad, a retired Naval officer, who held it up and began to read it aloud—only soon he couldn’t read anymore, for he was laughing so hard and so was everyone else.

    Of course they were just laughing because they thought it was cute, but I was only six years old. How could I possibly have known that?

    That day I stopped playing with magazine cut-outs of African animals and writing silly little stories to paste them into.

    That day I stopped dreaming about Africa.

    Have you ever had a dream that got away?

    Have you ever wanted to do something—paint sunsets, sing opera, run marathons, design skyscrapers—but stopped yourself before you even tried because it wasn’t realistic, practical or, in line with what your family/friends/co-workers expected of you?

    When we shelve our dreams, the human experience runs the risk of feeling more like a life sentence of obligations.

    When the lunch hour was up I returned to work with an African lion tucked under my arm.

    In the days that followed, I looked at that magazine often, dreaming of being under a blazing crimson African sky, only now that sky was clouded with regret.

    The opportunity of spending a ‘gap year’ volunteering in Africa or joining the Youth Corps had long since passed.

    Or had it? Yes, it’s true I couldn’t go to Africa for several months, but maybe I could volunteer in Africa for a few weeks.

    Over the next several weeks I gave myself permission to at least play with the idea. I began to research short-term volunteer opportunities in Africa with lions, elephants, and all the other magical animals I use to tote around in that little wicker basket.

    I began to budget, barter, and save, determined to make it happen.

    Even that old, worn-out lion on the magazine cover seemed to be perking up as the puzzle of a plan began to come together.

    Months later that lion, now freed from its magazine, was tucked into my passport folder as I boarded a plane for Cape Town, South Africa to volunteer on an African animal conservation project.

    Thrill and excitement deafened the echoes of friends and co-workers who thought I was going to Africa because I was ‘lost’ or approaching a mid-life crisis.

    No, I’m going to Africa because I want to stop saying, I wish I’d done it sooner.

    I arrived and met my boss, a khaki-clad, burly, young (ten years my junior) South African ranger named Gary.

    With big, strong hands on his hips, he eyed my tennis shoes and embellished denim clam diggers and said,

    “Let me guess, you’re here because you dreamed of Africa.”

    “Yes!” I beamed.

    He grunted and said, “Well it’s time to wake up, Canada. This is a working game reserve; these are wild animals.”

    “Okay.”

    “You’ll be sleeping alone over there in that tent. The electrical wire mostly keeps the animals out.”

    “Ooooo.K.”

    “And one last thing, Canada. Out here you’re going to have to learn to play with a lion’s testicles.”

    “What?! That wasn’t in the brochure! And even if it was, I won’t do that!”

    “Relax, Canada,” he said. “It’s a local expression. It means you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone, take some risks. Have the courage of a lion.”

    The next morning when we began our patrol in an open-air jeep under a symphony of red, orange, lavender, and yellow hues playing above as the African sunrise came to life.

    Silhouettes of giant African elephants appeared in the morning mist.

    I was no longer dreaming in the pages of a National Geographic magazine, I was living them.

    Moments later Gary parked the jeep and handed me a rusty, heavy shovel and said, “Time to shovel sh*t.”

    Elephant dung. Mountains of it. It will be used as fertilizer in the reserve’s sustainable vegetable garden.

    Within fifteen minutes my back was aching, and my new work gloves were stretched out and so slippery with dung and sweat that they refused to stay on my hands.

    This wasn’t the dream of Africa I had. This was beginning to feel more like a nightmare.

    I began to question myself.

    You came all the way to Africa to shovel elephant dung?

    Maybe my dream of Africa was a silly childhood vision.

    Maybe I was lost and should have spent this money on therapy instead.

    What would my friends and co-workers say if they could see me now, knee-deep in dung, barely able to lift this antiquated shovel?

    They’d think I was a fool.

    Humiliation began to creep over me, engulf me even.

    But then I remembered Gary’s words; playing with a lion’s testicles was a huge step out of my comfort zone. I needed to have the courage of a lion. Lions don’t complain. They’re the king of the jungle because there’s nowhere they won’t go.

    And the lioness is the hunter, the conqueror, the fearless female who doesn’t back away from anything.

    And hey, I’m in Africa. I am in Africa.

    This elephant dung will help feed a village, and I get to contribute to something meaningful, something bigger than my mouthy little ego.

    Get out of your head and focus on that.

    I dug in deep. This was my dream, to come to Africa. As I became heavy with appreciation, the shovel lightened up.

    Days were spent rebuilding roads one stone at a time, by hand, darting a grumpy Rhinoceros who needed hormone therapy, tree planting within the lion’s camp as a pride of (satiated) lions looked on and moving more mountains of elephant dung.

    The elation, the satisfaction, the joy of being in this place was even greater than I had imagined and dreamed.

    It was the first time in my life I felt real and true meaning.

    It was the first time in my life I felt purpose.

    It was the first time in my life my soul was satisfied.

    And the irony was, it was the first time in my life I was paying to do a job instead of getting paid to do one.

    The more I gave of myself, the more I received.

    As my project came to a close, I removed the now almost unrecognizable lion cut-out from the pocket of my denim clam diggers and placed it with a young tree sapling in the lion’s camp.

    I no longer needed to tote him around for my dream of going to Africa had been realized.

    Sometimes we believe our dream has to be huge and world-changing, or at the very least net us millions of dollars so it has the stamp of society approval on it.

    Whether you’re moving mountains, or just moving mountains of elephant dung, a dream is still a dream, and it’s yours.

    The shadow of regret is only ever a decision away; we can keep it at bay by having the courage to play with our dreams.

    So how do we play?

    P – Give yourself permission to pursue possibilities and reshape your dreams to meet your current reality.

    L – Lay low. Don’t feel like you have to tell everyone what you’re going to do. Tell them what you did, that way you won’t be bogged down by other’s fears and doubts. Not everyone will be your cheerleader.

    A – Acknowledge your fears and doubts. When they appear, it means you’re doing something that’s meaningful to you, otherwise fear wouldn’t bother showing up.

    Y – Why not? You deserve to play, to discover and uncover those things and experiences that make your heart beat a little faster. You are worthy because you were gifted the gift of life.

    You don’t have to go to Africa to play with a lion’s testicles. You can play wherever you are.

  • Are You a Multipotentialite? What to Do When You Have Many Interests

    Are You a Multipotentialite? What to Do When You Have Many Interests

    “I think a singular identity isn’t very interesting, and I’m a little bit more multifaceted as a person than that.” ~Catherine Opie

    Are you a person who gets inspiring ideas every day? Do you wake up, galvanized with such thoughts, only to end up feeling sore as the day ends because you failed to act on these bright morning ideas? Perhaps you also end up blaming yourself and feeling guilty for not having taken any action.

    Then welcome to the world of multipotentialite, a word I first encountered when I heard a TEDX talk by Emilie Wapnick. In her talk, Emilie talks about the challenges multipotentialites face and how to embrace them.

    Multipotentialite Defined

    So who is a multipotentialite? The urban dictionary defines it as “somebody who has potential in multiple fields.” Sounds cool, right? It seems that such a person would lead a meaningful life. They’d never get bored, as there would always be something to catch their fancy.

    Unfortunately, it doesn’t usually work out that way. How do I know? I happen to be one.

    I am a software engineer turned writer, counselor, web designer, and trek guide. I haven’t stuck to any particular field, so I cannot say I am an expert or a specialist—words the world loves.

    I detest family gatherings. Do you know why? People around me talk about promotions and their success while I talk about beginnings. I don’t mind; I’m a learner. But it’s difficult to explain to your family, who wishes to see you settled in your career, that you have multiple interests.

    Without a supportive environment, several things can go wrong. Here are some of them.

    Great ideas but no follow through

    You get plenty of ideas, so much so that it becomes overwhelming. There are countless things you’d like to do right away. Sometimes it’s difficult to choose, for fear that you’ll leave it mid-way. Or you have a desire to do a multitude of things, all at once. Or the dissatisfaction of the earlier half-finished projects may bog you down, so you don’t start at all.

    You’re labeled “irresponsible” or “afraid to commit”

    You begin to feel that you’re not a responsible person because you don’t stick to anything. After all, hasn’t it been drilled into you that success depends on your level of commitment? And a lack of commitment could mean anything from not being serious to being irresponsible and careless.

    The blame game

    You start blaming yourself. The pressure to perform and stick to one particular career or task intensifies. It may be a self-created vortex, or others around you will contribute to the pressure by saying things like, “get serious” or “discipline is just what you need.”

    Not fitting in

    Finally ,you realize you don’t fit in. You start feeling something’s wrong with you, that you’re not like other “normal” people around you who commit to doing things. You believe you’re different and feel you don’t belong anywhere. This can also lead to loneliness or a sense of being alone in the world.

    Disappointments greet you

    When you’re unable to come up with a goal for yourself, it can hurt. You know you’re ready to put in the hard work, but goals keep changing, as nothing interests you for long. The hurt and disappointment can erode your self-confidence, as well.

    The matrix

    Yet you try. You keep searching for that single purpose that will make you feel whole again. Maybe you feel there’s something out there that is “you”—something that’s meant especially for you. You only have to find it and then you’ll be okay. Beware: This path is full of lies.

    The feeling of being abnormal

    You begin searching for mental disorders on the web. Maybe this is a symptom of a condition, or maybe it signifies a psychiatric illness. The web is extremely helpful here, as it displays twenty or more different disorders that you could box yourself into.

    You suppress

    You start sticking to a goal even if it kills you. You wake up day after day reassuring yourself that things will work out in the end. The suppression does not get you anywhere. Instead, you feel a disconnect, an overwhelming feeling that something is missing.

    So this, in a nutshell, is the world of multipotentialites.

    In spite of their vulnerabilities, multipotentialites can get a lot done. They’re generally quick learners who are able to grasp varied things, a strength that they could capitalize on. In a team they can come up with innovative ideas; the jack-of-all-trades does not lack solutions. Belief in yourself is the only thing that’s missing. Well, that and a couple of other things.

    Trust that the dots connect.

    Nothing ever goes to waste. The skills you learn along the way will help you in the future.

    For a brief period I got a job as a travel writer when a magazine editor realized that I had explored quite a number of places within my city.

    A web design course helped me juggle multiple roles at a start-up that was always short on staff.

    The counseling degree gave me a better understanding of people around me. It also helped when my friend needed a student counselor for her tuition center.

    So my skills were put to good use and I sometimes got paid too, without any conscious effort on my part.

    Take small steps.

    A quote by Katie Kacvinsky sums this aptly. She says, “You need to be content with small steps. That’s all life is. Small steps that you take every day so when you look back down the road it all adds up and you know you covered some distance.”

    Especially when you have hundreds of things that you would like to do, it helps to make a list. Write down your desires and start with one of them. That’s it. Don’t expect anything except the desire to learn.

    When you feel saturated, stop and proceed to do the next thing on your list.

    The list will grow and so will you. Drop the expectations that you need to finish the project. It’s the learning that counts for you.

    Looks for creative ways to contribute.

    Maybe you could utilize your skills to earn more, by writing in your particular field, coaching, or even speaking. The important thing is not to give up on your interests; instead, look at them closely and see how you can proactively pursue them to better your situation. This removes the pressure on you and you start feeling less anxious.

    Connect with people who can relate.

    Joining a like-minded community helps put things in perspective. Forums and websites like Puttylike, started by Emilie, can help you restore your faith in yourself and move ahead in your life.

    In the end it’s all about perspective. A quote by George Carlin sums it rather well.

    “Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.”

    So choose to focus on your strengths. Success will surely follow.

  • How to Avoid End-of-Life Regret: Stop Giving Your Life Away

    How to Avoid End-of-Life Regret: Stop Giving Your Life Away

    happy-man

    “One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

    Do you ever wonder what life is all about? You may wake up day after day and go to a job you can barely stand. You might be in an unsatisfying relationship that’s on its last breath, yet you can’t seem to let it go.

    Maybe you spend more money than you have, or you eat or drink too much because it’s the only thing that distracts you from your misery. Whatever the distraction, you know you are unhappy, but powerless to know what to do about it.

    In my early twenties, I had finished college and was working at my first “real” job. My graduation allowed me to become commissioned as an officer in the Army National Guard. Most importantly, and best of all, I was in love. I was on a personal and professional trajectory and right in line with societal norms.

    The next step in my carefully predicted life was marriage and a family. My life was unfolding before me like I thought it should, and I was content to ignore the gnawing discontent that had been quietly eating away at my insides, for as long as I could remember.

    Unfortunately, or fortunately, when the “love of my life” brought our relationship to a screeching halt, I was devastated. Like, I wanted to die, devastated.

    My body froze in time, and I was unable to move with any sense of direction or intention. I was lost, as grief washed over me in relentless waves, threatening to drown me. Life had thrown me overboard, and I was not wearing a life vest.

    The truth is, all those overwhelming feelings had less to do with him and more to do with feelings that had been living inside of me long before he came along. He just reminded me they were there.

    Do you know the feeling? The feeling of the bottom completely falling out of your world, leaving you with nothing to stand on? That relationship was not my destiny, but it would turn out to be a critical turning point in my life.

    Obviously, I did not die. After crying countless tears and dragging myself out of bed every morning for a few months, wondering what I was doing with my life, I made a decision.

    I had four months of Officers training to complete at Ft. Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas, so I decided it was time to fulfill that commitment. So for four months I worked hard, played hard, made some fantastic new friends, and got paid for it all.

    Something unexpected happened. An unfamiliar feeling of lightheartedness began to possess my body, and my eyes were opened to the seriousness with which I had been living my life.

    I had no idea how burdened I had been feeling, having rarely known anything else. I realized that I had not been living the life I wanted. I was living the life expected of me, or at least what I thought was expected of me.

    When my time in Texas came to an end, the thought of returning home wrenched my gut with dread. The feeling was in stark contrast to the lightheartedness I had been feeling. This got my attention.

    Something had changed, and I could not return to life as I had known it. What I had not yet realized was that it was me that was changing.

    I was discontent in all areas of my life, and that relationship helped me avoid it. It wasn’t until the breakup that I was forced to take notice.

    I was barely twenty-four years old, and I was miserable. So despite opposition and my own anxiety, I stopped complying with my perception of societal expectations and I started to follow my gut. I followed my feelings.

    I wanted to travel. Some said I was running away from things; nonetheless, I believed, instead, that I was running towards something. I had come to realize there were a multitude of voices in my head all vying for my attention.

    Family, friends, religion, and society were all scrambling for possession of my mind, and I had been trying to live my life the way I thought I should.

    I honestly did not know what I wanted, so used to pleasing others first. At that moment in time, what I did know is what I didn’t want. I did not want to go back home.

    So I planned a trip with my youngest sister. We spent two and a half fabulous, fun, carefree months traveling and exploring the western U.S., camping and backpacking.

    While in California I met a woman who had backpacked Europe, and I knew immediately that was to be my next trip. After my western U.S. exploration was done, I returned home to plan a trip to Europe.

    After a couple months of planning, I traveled alone to Europe, where I spent four months backpacking Western Europe, the Mediterranean countries, and Egypt. All because I began to listen to my gut, to my feelings and desires, rather than all the voices in my head telling me what I should do.

    As I stood alone on a street corner in London on the cold December day that I landed there, I was ecstatic. Cell phones were barely in existence, and no one could reach me. I was completely on my own and ready to find out what kind of grit I had, and I was amazed at how good it felt. I was amazed at how good I felt!

    I was learning that taking care of myself and making decisions for my life based on what was right for me, rather than others, was a priority. I don’t mean that in an irresponsible, indifferent way. I mean it in a “this is my life and I get to live it my way” kind of way.

    So, as it turned out, the ending of the relationship that I thought would last forever was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Not because he was a bad guy or would have made a lousy husband, but because his ending the relationship woke me up. 

    It was not his job to be my “happily ever after.” It was mine and his leaving forced me to begin to figure that out.

    Many of us expect others to make us happy and to fulfill our dreams, never knowing that we have the ability to do it for ourselves. Trust me when I tell you, you will be most happy and most contented when you do. Your relationships will be healthier when you do.

    Here’s the hard part: It means taking a chance. Maybe risking failure, maybe finding success. Likely feeling very uncomfortable—at least for a little while. But if we don’t try, we will never know. We will never grow.

    It can be difficult to make decisions that go against the grain, especially if we anticipate being rejected by or disappointing to someone close to us. I know, I lived it. Hard as it was, it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

    I also know that to live your life pleasing someone else, or following what mainstream society dictates you do, will leave you doing things you do not want to do and feeling ways you do not want to feel.

    Societal and family systems will pigeonhole us if we let them. We internalize limits based on what we have been told or taught. The key is to question what you have been told or taught. You get to decide if it is true for your life. It can be scary, I understand that. Do it anyway.

    Keep what works for you and get rid of the rest. The limits we face are usually the ones we place on ourselves. We can blame no one else if our life is unsatisfying. Take small steps, but take a step.

    The consequences of a life given away are greater than the consequences of living life on our terms. In other words, when we live life on our terms, we gain more than we lose. Period.

    I came to further understand how important that was years ago, while working as a hospice nurse. That work became my teacher, as I recognized very quickly who had lived a fulfilling life and who had not.

    It was easy to see the peace and acceptance of the contented and fulfilled, which highlighted the sad and painful turmoil of those with regrets.

    Those most at peace were the ones who had faced their fears, who’d taken chances, while risking losing. Those in turmoil had avoided themselves, their pain, their fears, and their dreams. They stayed safe or distant and disconnected and regretted it in the end. They suffered as a result.

    Life is an invitation to grow and to make a difference. You are important. You are needed. Don’t be the one dying with regret. Do not waste another minute being afraid to break out of your rut. Take a chance!

    Discover your passions. What makes you come alive? What gets you excited? What do you want? What is your gut telling you to do and what are the fears holding you back? Whose life is it?

    It’s your life. Live it!

  • 4 Things You Need to Know When Pursuing An Ambitious Dream

    4 Things You Need to Know When Pursuing An Ambitious Dream

    Dreamer

    “So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” ~Christopher Reeve

    Have you ever decided to pursue something that excited you, that seemed really hard to do, and then had your will tested and almost crushed? I have, many times, most recently this year.

    As you may recall, I shared a blog post in January about the newly formed Tiny Buddha Productions, a film company I started with my fiancé, fellow screenwriter Ehren Prudhel.

    If you haven’t read that post yet, you may want to read that now. Go ahead—it’s here. I’ll wait.

    Welcome back! A lot has happened in the six months since we decided to make a short film about loneliness and connection.

    We’ve faced delays, and drama, and disappointment. We’ve questioned ourselves, our idea, and our potential. And we even considered scrapping the whole thing when it all seemed far harder, and success far less likely, than we once imagined it would be.

    But we’ve pushed forward, in spite of the fears and the discomfort. We’ve waded through the guck of insecurity and uncertainty. And here we are, about to start filming our first short film tomorrow.

    As I sit here with a goofy perma-grin on my face, I’d like to share a little of what I’ve learned over the past six months.

    If you’re pursuing a dream, and feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, self-doubting, and scared, perhaps some of my lessons will help.

    1. There’s no shame in being green.

    I knew going into this there was a ton I didn’t know. Although I’d studied acting and writing in college, I didn’t study screenwriting, and I had no experience producing a film or working on a set.

    In addition to what I didn’t know, there was a lot I didn’t know I didn’t know—stuff about permits, and insurance, and securing locations. Every part of this has been a learning process for me, and that can feel incredibly vulnerable.

    It’s easy to feel insecure and embarrassed when you’re working with experienced people and you feel a little ignorant.

    But when I took my ego out of the equation and stopped worrying about what other people might think of me, I realized how fun it is to be at the beginning of a journey.

    It reminds me of when I was in college, and I felt excited about everything—being on campus in Boston, meeting new people, learning from them, getting to share my work, and imagining possibilities for the future.

    Would I feel more confident if I were an expert? Sure. But there’s nothing like the enthusiasm you feel when you’re just starting out. Some day I will be an expert, and I can only hope I’ll maintain this electric passion I feel right now.

    If you too are at the beginning, remember: This feeling won’t last forever, so soak up the best and don’t worry about the worst. No one loses respect for someone just because they’re new. If anything, they highly esteem people who are embarking on an exciting but challenging new journey—especially if they’re not just out of college.

    More importantly, your experience is worth far more than their perception, so enjoy every part of this new path. This is what life’s all about—trying things that excite you and feeling giddy, nervous, and passionately alive. Let yourself bask in it.

    2. Setbacks are part of the process.

    As I mentioned, it’s been almost six months since we decided to do this short film. We originally planned to shoot in in the spring, after speaking to lots of people and hiring a director, who was going to bring his own crew onboard and edit.

    With the most important hire in place, I ran a T-shirt campaign to raise money to fund the film. And then the setbacks began.

    The director—who, I should add, is a wonderful person, who we’d be fortunate to work with—said there were too many locations. So we re-wrote the script.

    Then he told us the budget was still too small, so we increased it, to much more than we originally expected we’d spend.

    Then, after much back and forth, with all our eggs in his basket, he had to back out due to personal reasons.

    As the months went on, I began to feel like the girl who cried film. I’d already publicly announced the project on the blog. I’d run a fundraiser. And there we were, seemingly back at square one.

    For a while I got myself worked up and discouraged. I had no idea how to move things forward with our first project, and I also knew it would be just a small step on a much larger path. But then Ehren and I regrouped and decided that the setbacks weren’t failures; they were part of the journey—to be expected.

    We didn’t need to feel bad about them. We had to view them as par for the course—simply part of the process of doing something new and difficult.

    So often we get down on ourselves when things don’t go as planned. But it’s nearly impossible to make a smart plan when you’re learning as you go because you have no idea what each step will entail. The only thing you can reasonably expect when you’re doing something new is the unexpected.

    The good news is, the unexpected isn’t always bad. It’s usually in putting out mini fires that we learn and grow the most. Every step of a new journey is a classroom—and remember, people pay good money for an education.

    So don’t let the setbacks get you down. See them as signs you’re moving up, because they are, in fact, a part of the process.

    3. It helps to hold yourself accountable.

    I wrote that blog post introducing Tiny Buddha Productions for a reason: I knew that this would be hard. But once it was out there in writing, and because we also told our friends and family, it felt nearly impossible not to follow through.

    I could lie to myself and say I didn’t really want this that bad, but I’d already made it abundantly clear, very publicly, that I did.

    Reading that post has kept me motivated when I’ve felt like giving up. It’s reminded me that this means something to me, and it’s worth pushing through my discomfort to make it happen.

    Tell people what you aspire to do, and not just casually, in passing, like it’s not that important to you. You want this. You dream about this. If you’re like me, you lie awake thinking about it, and it pops into your head first thing in the morning and when you wake in the middle of the night.

    You care—a lot. And it feels vulnerable to admit that, especially since everyone will know if things don’t work out as you hoped they would. Don’t let that deter you.

    Not only does sharing your intentions keep you on track, it also inspires others to do something about the faint murmur they hear in bed at night and when they open their eyes.

    Everyone has something that blows their hair back. Remind them what it looks and feels like to go for it. As the saying goes, “Enthusiasm is contagious. You can start an epidemic.”

    4. An experience can be worth so much more than it costs.

    We raised quite a bit for this project, because filmmaking is incredibly expensive. (In fact, I was shocked to learn how much it costs to make five minutes of film.)

    When I shared with a loved one how much we raised, she questioned if perhaps we should pocket the cash or spend it on something else. “Why spend that money on something that might go nowhere when you could just keep it?” she asked.

    Well, I’d positioned the T-shirt campaign as a fundraiser, so that’s one thing. But more importantly, I knew this experience would be far more valuable than what it would cost.

    Ehren and I each have our own reasons for wanting to do this, and wanting to do it together. His reasons are his to tell. For me, this is more than a project; it’s the beginning of an exciting new life.

    It’s a way to connect with who I was before healing consumed me; an opportunity to create something that will hopefully make an impact; and a chance to do something collaborative instead of spending so much time working on my own, from my computer.

    That’s why I’m doing this film, and I hope many more after it: it’s something I need to do for myself, and want to do with Ehren. If that’s not worth the cost, what is?

    I realize I’m incredibly fortunate to have a means to raise money, and that not everyone has that same advantage. But we all have the ability to invest in ourselves—whether that means a portion of our savings or a portion of our time.

    We all have the potential to put some of what we have toward what we want to create. I know, it can be scary to do it. You can think of a million and one reasons not to use your limited resources.

    There are no guarantees. It might not work out as you hoped it would. People might say, “I told you so.”

    Yes, those things are true. But things could actually turn out better than you’d hoped. And if they don’t, this could be the first step on a different journey you don’t yet know you want to take.

    You don’t need a guarantee to know that taking a risk—stretching yourself and coming alive—is worth it, no matter where it leads.

    —

    Having a dream is a lot like being that little man on the moon, in the picture on top. You know you can fall, but it doesn’t matter, because you’re lost in the music and the view. I’m lost in mine right now. What’s yours?

  • Life Goes by Too Quickly to Postpone Our Dreams

    Life Goes by Too Quickly to Postpone Our Dreams

    Reach for the stars

    “The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.” ~Paul Valery

    As I am sitting at my desk, looking out the window, I am contemplating if I should fly to Germany or not.

    My father has been very sick for the past three years. I spent three months in Germany last year to have some time with him and help him get better. He finally recovered and I flew back home to Miami.

    When I talked to my stepmom the other day, she gave me the news though that my father had a relapse and seems to be worse than ever.

    My first instinct was to get on the next plane to go see him. My father refuses. He doesn’t want me to come. He doesn’t want me to see him suffer, so he prefers I stay home while he is waiting for a place in the clinic.

    Situations like these make you realize how precious life is. Everything we take for granted can be gone in a heartbeat. Knowing that, why do we keep procrastinating? Why do we keep postponing our dreams?

    We always think the time is not right, we don’t have the resources we need, we don’t have enough knowledge, we don’t have any support; the list is endless.

    I was just like that. I always dreamed of going full-time with my personal training business. But even though I felt depressed, kind of empty inside, and even useless once in a while, and I had a day job I wasn’t passionate about that seemed meaningless to me, I kept making excuses.

    I kept telling myself, there are too many trainers out there, I won’t be able to make a living, it’s going to be too hard, I am not skilled enough, I am not fit enough, I am not outgoing enough, and—my all-time favorite—right now is just not the right time to take the leap.

    You know what though? The time is never right! We will never feel ready and the conditions will never be perfect.

    My father’s illness made me realize that I don’t want to continue living this way. When my time comes I want to be able to say “I tried.” No ifs and buts.

    Last year I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and promised myself that I would make it happen. I wouldn’t let doubt, fear, or excuses stop me. I quit my dreaded job at the hotel and jumped head first into my entrepreneurial journey.

    It hasn’t been easy; I keep making mistakes, and I keep learning. Believe me when I say, you can’t come up with anything the tiny little voice in my head hasn’t already thrown at me.

    You might think you don’t have the resources to make your dreams a reality, but believe me, you do, and if you don’t, you can get them. You know enough to get started, and the rest you will learn while you’re on your way.

    Your family and friends don’t support you? Find other support systems! Go online, check out groups, go to seminars, events, meet knew likeminded people. If you don’t have a support system, create one!

    We think we have all the time in the world to pursue our dreams, but the reality is we don’t know how much time is left. You might have fifty years, twenty years, or you could be gone tomorrow. Do you really want to look back at the end of your life and ask “what if”?

    Now is the time to make your dreams a reality.

    You want to build your own company? Make a plan, start networking, and check out financing options.

    You want to travel the world? Start selling the stuff you don’t need, make a list of countries you want to visit, start figuring out ways to earn money while you are on the road.

    Okay, okay, I know what you’re about to say: This sounds great but it’s not that easy. And you are right. We all have responsibilities; we have monthly bills we have to pay, maybe a mortgage, and some of us have children to care for.

    I’m not telling you to drop everything you worked for and throw all security measures out the window. My point is that we need to follow our passions; we need to remember what makes us smile, what makes us laugh, what makes us happy.

    Sometimes even small steps in the direction of our dreams are enough to bring us back to the present moment and allow us to enjoy life again.

    Maybe on the way you realize that having your own company or traveling the world won’t actually make you fulfilled. Or you come to realize that you are indeed on the right path and that you do want to make drastic changes in your life, and then you accept the sacrifices you have to make.

    But in order to find out what it really is that gives you joy, you need to start shooting for the stars.

    But people will think I’m crazy! It’s too risky! I’m scared!

    This is your life. It doesn’t matter what other people think. You deserve to create a life you don’t need a vacation from. You deserve to be able to look back on your life with a smile on your face instead of regret in your heart.

    Yes, it is scary, and yes, it might be risky, but if you don’t try you will never find out what could have been. Take every opportunity you get. You might fall once in a while. That’s okay.

    I still struggle. I still get anxious because I have months where I try to figure out how to pay my bills. And sometimes I have this awesome idea for a new program and invest all my time into making it happen, just to find out that I was the only one who thought it was a great idea.

    It happens. Let’s take things like this as a lesson learned, get back up, and do it again. Just don’t let these challenges convince you that you should give up.

    I pray every single day that my father will recover and I will be able to spend a lot more time with him. But even if he doesn’t, I know he won’t go with a lot of regret. He always enjoyed his life, did what he wanted, said what he wanted, and didn’t care about the opinions of others.

    Let’s take that as an example, and let’s keep pushing our dreams forward and make them a reality. We deserve it!

    Reaching for the stars image via Shutterstock

  • My Mission in Life

    My Mission in Life

    My mission in life

    Source: Women’s Health

  • The Easy Path to Purpose: Forget “Should” and Do What You Love

    The Easy Path to Purpose: Forget “Should” and Do What You Love

    Stop Dreaming

    “Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.” ~Khalil Gibran

    In my mid twenties I found out I had a mass on my pituitary. I was told it could be cancer, it could be benign, it could be a cyst—we wouldn’t know until my doctor performed a surgery to remove it. This surgery meant I could go blind, be on lifelong hormone replacement therapy, or even die.

    I don’t want you to wait until something bad happens to dedicate time to things you love.

    Countless people I meet share the same story over and over again when I tell them I’m an artist:

    “I was told I was good at drawing, but Dad wanted me to be a doctor,” “It reminds me of my love of the theatre. I keep thinking about joining our local community theatre, but I never seem to get round to doing it.”

    It seems calling oneself an artist triggers a longing for creative expression in many.

    How can we find and follow our inner guide?

    While waiting for the big day of surgery, I hid away in the basement of my sister’s home. I painted for perhaps my last time. I painted for the pure joy of painting. For perhaps the first time in my life I didn’t hear a bunch of “shoulds” running around my mind. I painted as a channel, connected to whatever source gave me the inspiration for that work.

    The world around us communicates a whole lot of expectation on our lives. We have pressures to stay connected, to succeed, to travel, to be the perfect parent, to somehow “balance” our life, all while eating green smoothies, cooking homemade fresh organic meals, and exercising regularly.

    That’s a whole lot of “shoulds.” Unfortunately, and often, people wait until something bad happens in their life that helps them see the big picture and realign with their own personal hopes, dreams, or even calling.

    Cultivating Purpose Step 1: Reflect on What You Want

    Rather than wait for bad things to happen, why not start reflecting on this today? Sit in a quiet, meditative space or partner with a good friend. Ask yourself: What is important to me? What makes me feel like I’m successful or living a “balanced” life?

    Is the slow food movement important to you and your lifestyle? Maybe it’s about teaching your children to be mindful. These are all modes of creative expression; creativity isn’t just about art.

    Somewhere, at some point, our culture has become hell-bent on achievement. It’s about outcomes that include white picket fences, degrees from prestigious institutions, and a bottom dollar.

    This is why countless high school students have told me they can’t take an art class, or their favorite creative writing class, or insert your creative interest here. The achievement, the honors, and keeping up with outside notions of success are more important than what our heart calls us to do.

    Once the day of my surgery came I felt free; there was no more waiting and wondering. Thankfully, my surgery went well—no cancer, no blindness, no hormone therapy. I returned to work as an art teacher and kept thinking about those paintings. Something had shifted in me.

    An opportunity to enter my work for a young artist award fell into my lap shortly thereafter. I jumped at the chance to have my art be part of it.

    I entered those paintings into a competition with VSA arts and won a money award for being a finalist. My work toured the USA for two years and included exhibition at the Smithsonian and the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.

    I knew all along I wanted to be an artist, that making art and teaching art would fill me up. But I battled with accepting that part of myself for years. It took adversity for me to advance to the next level of my work and life. It took adversity for me to take action.

    Cultivating Purpose Step 2: Make Different Choices

    Don’t wait for bad things to happen to do the things you love. Write down one thing you’d love to experience or explore. What are three tasks you can take this week to help you realize it?

    Make a public announcement about your goal to someone or a group of people who can hold you accountable. Creating external urgency can be a great motivator to start working toward the things you love.

    I spoke with a cancer survivor about my painting experience, and he articulated something I had felt but didn’t know how to put into words: When you know you have a strong chance of dying and the last thing you might ever do fits into the two days before you, you make different choices.

    Too many voices about how I should make art and if I should make art at all had clouded my mind. But in the days before my surgery those voices were silent. Who cared if it didn’t hold to anyone’s standards? There was no one to impress anymore. I was painting for me.

    My friend said he created his best art while he fought cancer. It opened this door that freed him of expectation, external pressures—those “shoulds.” He’s found the trick since that time to be: How do we cultivate and keep that perspective now that we’ve survived?

    My life ebbs and flows with my ability to treat life preciously. I know I’m lucky to be here but it’s easy in the ruckus of everyday life to lose sight of our limited time. Familial pressure, work, myriad circumstances can make us lose sight of what we feel called to do with our time.

    Cultivating Purpose Step 3: Stay Connected to Your Inner Guide

    I’ve found a way to help me check back in and harness that powerful inner guide. Every night I journal and I write down six things to focus on in my next day. (It’s called the Ivy Lee Method). I always include a task directly related to my personal interests, and I place this as my first priority.

    Secondly, I do that work in the first part of my day. For me this can mean dedicating twenty minutes to a morning yoga practice or even just fifteen minutes to my art. My mind is open and receptive in the morning. The day’s obligations have yet to cloud my mind or heart. I’m open to possibility and to learning. And my spirit feels honored.

    Making room for our sometimes secret, creative interests can change our lives.

    We don’t need permission from anyone to dive into those hopes and dreams we’ve had since children. To be human is to be creative. Creativity isn’t just about art. Creativity includes the contributions we give the world when we set out to do what our hearts call out for us to explore.

    There is a shift happening in society. We are beginning to recognize and celebrate the importance of mindfulness, of listening to our heart, our body, our mind. People are slowly feeling license to express their true selves. But we are only at the beginning.

    I had to wait until a life threatening health problem before I could fully own my artistic voice. But once I did own my voice, I had work recognized by VSA Arts and exhibited at the Smithsonian. What could I have accomplished if I started painting “for me” sooner?

    What could you accomplish today if you practice being present and truly listen to that inner voice of guidance and support?

    We treat life like a race, but I wonder, what exactly are we racing toward? What could you accomplish if you didn’t wait for your dreams, but you decided to start right now, today?

  • How to Find the Courage to Quit Your Unfulfilling Job

    How to Find the Courage to Quit Your Unfulfilling Job

    Quitting

    “Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake.” ~Francis Bacon Sr.

    Isn’t it a shame?

    You’ve studied and worked hard to get to where you are.

    You’ve succeeded.

    And you got that job.

    But now, it just doesn’t feel right.

    Well, I understand exactly what you’re going through.

    Once upon a time, I thought I had it all too.

    A great position, a great salary with generous bonuses, and I was working in the heart of the city of love: Paris. My life and career might have looked perfect on the outside, but on the inside, I was desperately yearning for something else.

    As the months went by, my sadness skyrocketed. And the voice inside telling me to change grew ever stronger. So did my concerns, worries, and fears about the future. What if things didn’t work out? What if I couldn’t make enough money? What if I would come to regret my decision?

    Sound familiar?

    When I evaluated my life, though, I found that the idea of staying was scarier than anything that may happen if I quit. So, I finally found the courage to leave the safety of a corporate job to find my true calling in life.

    If you’re yearning for change but too scared of the what-ifs, the following tips will help you evaluate your life and finally find your courage as well.

    1. Choose to live by design instead of by default.

    Take a step back and look at what kind of life you truly want to live. Does it look like the one you’re living today? A while back, I asked myself that question. One of the things that came back to me was that I wanted my life to revolve more around yoga. So, now I’m training to become a yoga teacher.

    Don’t settle for mediocrity or life by default. Instead, decide to make active choices to create the life you desire—that’s the only way you’ll get there.

    2. Fear regret rather than failure.

    Failing means you tried and learned something. Regret, on the other hand, comes as a response to what hasn’t happened. It’s an ugly emotion that usually doesn’t show up until it’s already too late.

    Failing at something is scary, but regret is even scarier. Wouldn’t you rather try and fail now instead of one day regretting you never tried at all?

    3. Imagine the worst-case scenario.

    What’s the worst thing that can happen if you quit your unfulfilling job? Maybe you’d have to find another full-time job? Maybe you’d be standing without a safety net, unable to care for the people that depend on you?

    By clearly defining a realistic worst-case scenario, you can prepare yourself not to end up there and to cushion the impact if it occurs. That could mean making sure you have enough savings, someone to fall back on, or a job lined up if things don’t work out.

    4. Listen to your gut.

    I had a nagging feeling inside of me for years before I acted on it. I had tried to push it away, and when that didn’t work, I changed tactics and chose to allow the feelings in. Only then did I understand the message behind it and what I needed to do.

    Now I know that the discomfort I was feeling was a good thing. It meant that my inner guidance system was working correctly, giving me direction in life. What are your feelings telling you? What are you being guided toward?

    5. Know that you’ll be better doing what you love.

    “If I could be good at something I was fairly interested in, what would happen if I did something I truly love?” This was a question I simply had to find the answer to.

    I believe outstanding work can only come from a place of loving what you do. This is when you utilize your unique skills, talents, and natural gifts. Imagine for a second how great you could become at something you love doing?

    6. Let happiness be the key to success.

    Studies prove (and people like billionaire entrepreneur Richard Branson confirm) that happiness fuels success and performance, not the other way around. Now, isn’t that nice to know?

    Creating a life around what makes you happy is the key to living a truly successful life.

    7. Become an example.

    Imagine that someone you care deeply for, such as a little sister or a friend, is observing your actions. He or she will copy everything you do. A bit scary, huh?

    Now, would you want this person to stay in a place that left them feeling unfulfilled? Or would you want them to find the courage to pursue what they truly desire?

    8. Come back to the present moment.

    Worrying about the future doesn’t change anything; instead, it hinders you from making the best of this moment. Here and now is all we ever have. It’s the only place where we have control.

    So, focus on what you can do right now to go in the direction you want.

    9. Know that everyone feels the same.

    Realizing that I wasn’t alone with my thoughts and fears gave me a surprisingly comforting feeling. I wasn’t weak or fragile for being scared—I was simply human.

    Understand that what you feel is normal, but whether to act or not is your choice.

    10. Define your why.

    I left my job because I wanted to work with something I cared deeply for, where I could express myself fully and make a positive impact in the world.

    If you’re clear on why you’re leaving a job, you’ll see the value in taking the risk. It will help you stay motivated and keep you focused in the right direction.

    11. Trust that you have a gift to offer.

    All seven billion of us have a unique set of skills, talents, and personality traits. I once met a woman whose great passion in life was the connective tissues in our bodies. Pretty unique passion, right? We’re all different, and that’s the beauty.

    You have something special only you can offer this world, and we’re longing to take part of it. So, trust yourself, and show us what you’ve got.

    12. Connect with like-minded people.

    Connect with people that are on a similar journey to yours. Build a support network, in person and online.

    To have people around you that support, motivate, and inspire you is priceless. They’ll help you through the most difficult days.

    13. Take risks for what you will gain long-term.

    Sometimes we need to take risks and make short-term sacrifices for what will serve us long-term. Basically, we must be willing to bet in order to win.

    Just think about this. Staying in an unfulfilling job means taking a greater risk since you already know it’s not what you want. So, you risk more by not taking risks.

    14. Aim to put a smile on your older, future self.

    Imagine yourself being ninety years old and at your deathbed. Looking back at your life, how would you want the story to unfold?

    You’ll want to die with a big smile on your face, knowing that you made the best of your time here. And that you lived a life true to yourself, not the life others expected of you.

    15. Know that the timing is never right.

    Maybe you’re young without any proper experience. Maybe you’re older and take longer to learn new things. Or maybe you just got promoted and want to give this opportunity a chance.

    The time will never come when all the conditions are right. When I accepted this, I understood that everything is as perfect as I perceive them to be.

    16. Trust that the path will unfold.

    What’s scary in following your dream is that the path is unclear. Stepping off the beaten path means that you can’t see a straight road in sight.

    But, we don’t need to know the whole path. We just need to know the next step in front of us.

    17. Make uncomfortable the new comfortable.

    When we want something we don’t have, we must do things we haven’t done before. And that means becoming uncomfortable.

    When I accepted this as a natural part of the journey, I decided to make uncomfortable my new comfortable.

    18. Nurture faith, not fear.

    Fear is uncertainty about what doesn’t exist yet. Faith is the same, but trusting that it will turn out for the best. So, instead of imagining scenarios of what you don’t want, choose to focus on what you do want.

    Give your energy to faith, not fear.

    Live by Choice Instead of Chance

    It’s not easy feeling frustrated and restless in an unsatisfying job. It’s not easy knowing that leaving might be a big mistake. But, staying might be an even bigger one.

    You don’t know how things will turn out if you quit. We never do. But here’s what you do know—staying where you are most likely won’t get you where you want to be.

    Wouldn’t you rather live life by choice instead of chance? Wouldn’t you rather look back and know that you did everything you could to create the life you desire instead of wishing you’d had? Wouldn’t you rather take a chance on faith instead of fear?

    Who knows, you just might get everything you wished for.

    Quitting image via Shutterstock

  • How To Shine Your Own Light and Let Go of Envy

    How To Shine Your Own Light and Let Go of Envy

    Woman Standing on the Moon

    “As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

    “Look at her, who does she think she is?”

    “He’s so full of himself. He’s so big headed”

    Have you ever heard these types of expressions being used? Have you said them yourself?

    I have.

    Or at least I used to. I was taught to believe that people who shine their light were showing off. That they were brazen and big headed. But what does being full of yourself actually mean? Seriously, what does it mean?

    Is it being cocky or could it simply be having confidence in who you are? Is it being arrogant or might it just be saying no to playing small?

    Plainly put, being full of yourself is to be brimming over with who you are. How utterly amazing is that? To be full of who you are. Not empty. Not lacking. Full.

    Why do we believe that celebrating our greatness is something to be scorned?

    We worry that if we let all of our colors blaze brightly, we’ll be perceived as being “too much.” We end up trying to throw shade on our most vibrant parts in order to blend in.

    Are we supposed to walk some kind of middle line in life? Between shine and shame?

    When we purposely set out to dilute who we are, we are denying ourselves our birthright to live in full bloom. Full expression.

    When do we ever walk through a garden of gorgeous flowers and wish that they were less vibrant? Less alive? We don’t. We marvel at their utter beauty and proud glory. We don’t ask them to diminish their splendor. We simply ask them to be all that they are.

    If we place ourselves in the shadows then we not only prevent our true light from radiating out, but we’re also left feeling envious of those that are basking in their own fabulous glow. 

    I used to look longingly at other people who I’d see exuding sparkly confidence. I’d yearn to have their self-assuredness and be able to live out loud without apology.

    It wasn’t until I stopped wistfully wanting what I thought I lacked, and started focusing on what I was already rich with, that everything changed.

    I said no to seeking approval. I said no to coveting the lives of others. I said yes to being me.

    My life transformed when I stepped onto the stage of my own life, rather than hiding in the wings watching someone else’s performance. Every step I’ve taken since has gifted me farther toward empowerment and farther away from self-doubt.

    Do you secretly envy somebody else’s life? Do you spend hours obsessing about how amazing they appear to be? What if you took some of that energy and invested it into your most precious stock? Yourself. 

    Try this simple visualization exercise to get you back on point.

    Imagine yourself sitting in front of a mirror illuminated with light bulbs, the ones you see in the dressing rooms that film stars use. Your reflection in the mirror radiates love, happiness, and confidence. The lights are bright and beautiful. So are you. So amazingly beautiful.

    Remember this: every single time you waste energy wishing you had somebody else’s life, a light in your own life goes out. One of those bulbs dies. Your reflection loses a little bit of its sparkle. Those bulbs need your life force to keep shining. Why are you illuminating someone else’s reflection? Why are you giving your energy to their light bulbs?

    Light up your life. This is the one time you don’t need to be environmentally conscious! Burn those lights, baby! I’m talking Times Square bright. Because otherwise all those lights will lose their will to shine and you’ll be fumbling around in the dark trying to find a torch. And that’s not the look we’re going for here.

    So now you’ve got your own glow going here are a few other ways to keep the spark alive:

    1. Get creative.

    When we concentrate on our own passions it makes it much more difficult for our minds to stray and worry about what everyone else is doing.

    If you feel stuck in a rut and unsure of how to move forward, then getting immersed in a creative project can be an amazing way to shift any stagnant energy. Maybe you want to explore photography; perhaps sketching or sculpting appeal to you. Creativity is a wonderful tool for self-expression and can bring so much joy as well as clarity.

    2. Avoid too much toxicity.

    It can be hard to feel bright and beautiful when we’re in an environment that doesn’t feel supportive. Limit time with negative people and spend more time with those who champion you and believe in your abilities. We all need some encouragement from time to time.

    Take time to encourage others to shine their light, too—it inspires a domino effect which creates a global glow!

    3. Stay present, but look forward.

    In the yoga pose Warrior II, one hand reaches forward and the other hand extends back. The head (and mind) are centered.

    It’s such a wonderful symbol of past, present, and future. The back hand is the past—don’t look that way, you’re not going in that direction. Stay centered and keep your mind in the present, but focus your gaze on where you’re going: forward. Possibility lies ahead.

    —

    Shine your light like only you can. And don’t apologize for it. The world does not benefit from you living in the shadows. The world does not benefit from you wasting your energy on envy. And the world most certainly does not benefit from you living in shame and fear. It benefits from your incredible, colorful contribution.

    Your empowerment carriage awaits. It’s time to get in.

    Girl on the moon image via Shutterstock

  • 10 Ways Creativity Can Completely Change Your Life

    10 Ways Creativity Can Completely Change Your Life

    “Life is a great big canvas. Throw all the paint you can on it.” ~Danny Kaye

    I’ve had those days when I felt like my life was in the doldrums. When I felt stuck in the same-old, same-old and wondered how to get a pick me up. When I wished I had more passion or purpose or maybe just a jolt of joy to shake things up.

    Sometimes there were things I thought might make me happy, but I couldn’t have them just because I wanted them. Like, I couldn’t just snap my fingers and meet the man who sweeps me off my feet or become a kazillionaire.

    But there is something that’s always at my (and your) fingertips. Something we always have that will instantaneously make us happy, right now in this moment.

    And that is (drum roll please…) our creativity.

    Creativity is not just for artists or making art. Creativity is life making. It’s anything we do that turns us on, invigorates us, or offers a simple moment of pure merriment.

    For me, I love to paint and write. I knit while watching my favorite movies. I have a blast cooking and sharing my recipes. I let myself go wild in dance class.

    All of us have something we enjoy doing. Or something we think we would enjoy but don’t do because the bigger, more major things in our daily lives take priority. We just don’t make the time for it.

    Or we judge it as “a little hobby” (like crafting, kickball, or learning magic tricks).

    Or we think it will never become something significant or important (like changing the world.)

    Or we deem it as just plain silly. (Why pick up singing when we don’t even know how to stay in harmony?)

    But the things we enjoy are far more important than we could ever realize and can make a significant impact on our lives.

    Here are ten reasons why (and there are so many more):

    1. Creativity makes us present.

    Because we’re doing something we like to do, we’re engaged in the moment. Time passes in an instant ‘cause we’re just having some good ol’ fun.

    When I paint, write, knit, dance, or cook it’s like active meditation. Being present with myself dials up my knob of attention and wakes me up.

    Creativity stimulates us to be more mindfully in tune with our overall lives. It also calms our nervous system, decreases anxiety, and helps restore balance.

    2. We better our relationships.

    Simply because we enjoy doing something we love, we connect to ourselves more intimately. We develop a profound relationship with our inner selves.

    The more we connect to ourselves, the more we’re able to connect to others and deepen all of our relationships. This secures healthier bonds.

    And because we’re more fulfilled, the less we need others to fulfill us and the more we have to share. Our happiness expands and others feel it too and want to spend more time with us.

    3. We’re playing again.

    As kids we could create anything and have fun with it without worrying about what other people thought.

    We could sing out loud in the car, turn a mud-pie into a monster, or let our stuffed animals have conversations. We were all free in one-way or another.

    Creativity returns us to the innocence of our childhoods. And giving ourselves a break from the pressures of adult responsibility, we become lighter and increase our sense of humor as we delight in the pleasure of our amusements.

    4. We’re led to new wonderful opportunities.

    The current of creativity is like a river finding its sea. It always leads us to bigger waters. So even a small creative project might open us to whole new possibilities. We never know where it might lead.

    On a whim I got this idea to make a board game. My friends loved to play it and soon, I was hosting game parties once a month at my house for up to thirty people. It became such a wonderful way to bring people together, a publisher picked it up and today everyone can play it.

    But we don’t do it for product. We do it for pure joy and interest.

    For sure with any kind of project, as our creative juices get flowing, there’s an infinite pool to draw from to keep our inventiveness growing.

    5. Depression is lifted.

    While doing the things we enjoy, even if it seems small or easy, the self-judgments we make (like we’re not enough, or bad, or we don’t matter) are suspended. We do it just because of the sheer delight of doing it.

    It’s the permission we give to ourselves to do what we love that makes us forget we’re in the slumps. The more we engage, the more our spirits fly.

    Doing something that is not demanding or to win is the antidote to any dreariness or blahs. My mood always uplifts when I’m creating something just for my own gratification.

    6. It’s always new.

    Every time we make stuff we’re embarking on fresh, unknown territory. Each time we begin and as we continue, we’re traversing on a new adventure.

    Creativity has this awesome way of always changing things up. Even if it seems “mundane” like stirring a soup, or knitting a loop, or moving my body, it always brings a different experience.

    A plus is it also initiates new perspectives.

    7. We get out of our own way.

    When doing something we enjoy, we’re focused on the act of doing it rather than self-ruminating. It immediately gets us out of our head.

    So much of our unhappiness is bred from being fixed and consumed by our thoughts and behaviors. We tend to observe our feelings, words, and actions far too often.

    But when we’re engaged creatively, we’re freed from any internal traps that say something about us, especially because it doesn’t have to be so serious.

    It’s also the #1 best replacement for any addictions.

    8. We become amazed by our intuition.

    We may wonder what gives us pleasure when we feel stuck. But there’s always something whispering to us.

    That’s the beauty of creativity. It might be telling us to take a pottery class, or sign up for a book club, or learn a new spiritual practice because it knows this will add some sparkle and enliven us.

    When we listen, we realize that we’re being led by something much greater than us. The more we listen, the more astounded we are by what lives inside us.

    9. We build character.

    As we attend to our creativity, we feel better about ourselves. This simple act of showing up serves our self-respect and confidence.

    The more we make pleasurable, creative acts a priority, the more we rejuvenate, strengthen, and grow.

    Each time I sit down to write and my fingers get moving, I feel proud of myself for meeting the blank page head on.

    The overall gain is a greater sense of gratitude.

    10. Love begets love.

    The more we cultivate what we love, the more love we accumulate. Our cup flows over.

    Clearly there are days we may show up to do something we enjoy and it isn’t always enjoyable. Sometimes the cake doesn’t rise, the paint spills, or my muscles are sore. But finding creative ways to solve the problems can be fun if we continue.

    When we don’t worry about how it turns out and we do it simply for the wonder of exploration, our heart expands and love abounds. And this spreads out into our entire life.

    So, what’s compelling you to create? What might creativity be telling you to do because it’s sure you’ll gain from it? What if you just said yes to your freedom, fun, and happiness?

  • You Are the Author of Your Life Story (So Write One You’ll Be Proud Of)

    You Are the Author of Your Life Story (So Write One You’ll Be Proud Of)

    Your Story

    “When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~Unknown

    I grew up without a TV in my household. While most of my friends were talking about their favorite shows, I’d pretend to understand, nod along, and try to laugh at all the appropriate times.

    While I had missed out on most of the shows and movies available during my youth, I didn’t miss out on all of them.

    Whenever my dad would need to work late, my mom, sister, and I would head to his office and get set up in a conference room with a rented movie. It was during one of these times that I was first exposed to the Star Wars trilogy.

    For many different reasons those three movies carry so much sentimental value for many millions of fans. For me, it was never the action, science, or acting that drew me in, it was the story.

    At its core, the plot of Star Wars is that a completely insignificant farmer’s nephew (so an insignificant of an insignificant) turns out to be the most important character in the story of the galaxy.

    It was about someone being whisked away from the boring life they knew, and some external force thrusting them into the middle of an amazing story.

    Having witnessed this as a child, that was the plan I created for my own life. It wasn’t until much later that I could articulate this reality, but it always was there.

    I was living my life expecting that at any moment I would be whisked away into an exciting and meaningful existence. I was living as if I was someone very important and was just waiting for my time to come, for my adventure to begin.

    Fast forward to twenty-nine years old, almost eight years as an engineer with the last three wishing I could quit my job, and my fantasy wasn’t panning out.

    I was beginning to get suspicious that nobody was coming, that my great adventure, the one that I just thought I needed to wait for, wasn’t going to show up. It was then that I started to consider the reality that I would need to change my strategy.

    I still wanted the adventure and the meaningful life, I was just now realizing that what I had hoped for—that it would be given to me—was less and less likely to happen.

    It was then that I started to realize that I had been living my life as if I was the main character in a story someone else was writing. I didn’t know my role or my lines, but believed that I was the main character. That had to change.

    The mental switch I made was to move from being the main character in someone else’s story, to the author of my own story.

    If I wanted adventure, I would have to write an adventure story, and if I wanted meaning, I was going to have to write a meaningful story. That shift was incredibly empowering, but also incredibly concerning, because now I was responsible for the story.

    It was no longer that someone else hadn’t started writing the life I wanted, but that each day I would be responsible for writing it.

    If it wasn’t what I had hoped for, it was my doing. One problem that I immediately realized was that I’d never written a story like this before, so where was I to start? That took some introspection.

    I had to outline the kind of story (life) that I wanted for myself, I had to outline the principles and values that I wanted for my main character (me), and I had to plan ahead what steps I would need to take to make progress in my story.

    It also meant that many of the risks that I would need to take wouldn’t just come at me, but that I would need to orchestrate them, and willingly and knowingly move into them.

    Fast-forward three years and I’m improving as a writer, at least of my own story. My main character is engaging with risk, he’s growing, and he’s learning a lot.

    I don’t necessarily know what the next few chapters look like, and I have no idea what the ending will be, but I’m hopeful, because right now my story is a good one, and I like where it’s headed.

    What about you? Do you feel like a character in someone else’ story, or do you feel like the author of your own?

    What kind of story do you want for your life, and what are the principles and values that you hold for your main character?

    Imagine at the end of this life we’ll all be comparing stories and someone will ask to see yours. When you look at what you’ve written so far and what you’re currently writing, will you be proud to show them, or wish there was more there?

    Chances are if you’re reading this you’re privileged with an amazing amount of freedom, opportunity, and financial power, certainly when compared to most of human history and much of the world today. All of those are ingredients for an incredible story; what will you write with them?

    Your story image via Shutterstock

  • If You’re Scared to Share Yourself and Your Gifts

    If You’re Scared to Share Yourself and Your Gifts

    Hiding Woman

    “True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.” ~John W. Gardner 

    If you’re afraid…

    …to launch your project,

    to share your voice,

    to sing in front of someone,

    to dance in public,

    to write a book,

    to show who you really are to the world,

    to ask someone out,

    to tell someone you love them,

    to try something new,

    of what other people will think of you…

    if you’re afraid of any of these things or more, I have three simple words for you:

    Do it anyway.

    Do it anyway! Isn’t that liberating? Come on, isn’t it kinda?

    You don’t actually have to overcome your fears to do any of the things you’re afraid of. Every single time you become conscious that you’re frozen from fear you get to make a choice. You get to choose to continue to be stuck or you get to choose to move through the fear.

    Moving through the fear does not mean that fear is going to go away. And let’s just be clear here: trying to be fearless is a waste of our time and energy.

    Trying to be fearless is an attempt to make it easy to do something that feels difficult. It could also be called avoidance. Instead of avoiding, you can choose to feel the fear right now and do what you need to do in spite of it. Yes, it’s going to feel scary. But so what?

    If we want to focus on how things feel for a minute, let’s think about this deep desire you have to share your art. (When I say art, I’m speaking about your gifts, your service, the thing that your soul is screaming to share.)

    So, you have this deep calling to share your art but there’s also this other part of you that is afraid. So you think about all of the reasons you’re scared and you analyze them and you go back to your art and you try to make it more perfect so you can squelch any potential haters.

    Then it’s time to share and you get scared again, and this cycle goes on.

    This might look a little differently for you.

    You might just be frozen in fear. You might be so scared you haven’t even started your art. You might be avoiding it. You might be perfecting it, so convinced that a true artist spends a lifetime perfecting something when you’re really just scurrrred. Yes, you are.

    And all of this that I’m describing, all of it spells out A.N.X.I.E.T.Y. So let’s take the power out of fear.

    So let’s take the power out of fear. If we do it anyway, if we launch the project, if we stop perfecting, if we take any kind of leap that feels risky, we’re telling fear that its voice doesn’t hold any weight.

    Isn’t that more fun than all of the anxiety around avoiding the leap? Just jump. It’s the most difficult and yet the simplest thing you can do. And the trick is that once you do it the first time, it gets a little bit easier to jump the next time.

    One of my favorite Paulo Coelho quotes is handwritten on a chalkboard in my kitchen. It says, “No matter how you are feeling, get up every morning and prepare to let your light shine forth.”

    I write a lot about the fleeting nature of feelings. They come and go. They’re not stable. They blow with the wind. So yeah, it would be lovely to be stoked to share your gifts with world. But the truth is that when it comes to being seen and heard, most of us are scared, and most of us are scared of what other people think.

    What other people think about your work is none of your business. Your business is listening to your soul and abiding by it.

    Your business is connecting with the depths of yourself and living a life so fulfilling that there could never be such a thing as regret.

    Your job is not to worry about someone else, change yourself for someone else, or stifle yourself out of fear of someone else.

    And let’s just shift our perspectives a bit. We spend so much energy worried about whether people will misunderstand us, dislike us, or mistreat us. The truth is that most people are supportive. Most of the people we fear will surprise us and say, “Hey what you’re doing is awesome. I admire it.”

    And the very few who don’t, the ones who want to critique you instead of looking at themselves, they’re the last people you should be worrying about. Judgment comes from fear. And when someone else projects their fear onto you, it’s not worth an ounce of your energy. Keep it movin’.

    No, it’s not easy to do things that feel scary. It can be painful to show the parts of yourself that are really you. It can be really hard to hear people say mean things about your art.

    The truth is that there are really unpleasant things about being alive, but there are also things that are more important than feeling good.

    When your soul is screaming loud enough you’ll have no choice but to listen and leap. But maybe do it before then. Maybe choose to move through the fear as soon as it shows its face. Maybe do it anyway.

    Hiding woman image via Shutterstock

  • How to Rekindle Your Passion for What You Do

    How to Rekindle Your Passion for What You Do

    “I would rather die of passion than of boredom.” ~Vincent van Gogh

    I rolled my eyes when a new set of emails popped up in my inbox. Will the messages ever stop? I remember the early days of the Internet, when it was actually a thrill to receive a new message.

    What used to be exciting had become not only boring, but downright annoying.

    That’s when I realized that what I considered my “treasures” had become burdens over time.

    And while it wasn’t a big deal to see my old favorite pair of jeans in the donation pile, I became terrified when one day I woke up and, instead of feeling energized by what I do, I felt dread.

    There were more than thirty items on my to-do list.

    My passion had turned into an endless stream of tasks. My inspiration was at peril, and I couldn’t let that happen.

    Here are the five steps I followed to rekindle the passion for what I do. This process worked for me, and it might work for you, too.

    1. Take a break.

    Although it may seem that your busy schedule doesn’t leave room for a break, it is possible to fit in a few hours, days, or even a couple of weeks off if you really want to.

    Think about past situations when you had to take time off because of illness or a family emergency. Somehow you were able to manage. Treat your break as a top priority so you can make it happen.

    Your break shouldn’t be an escape from your dreadful day-to-day activities, but the opportunity to get a fresh perspective of where you are and where you want to be.

    Now, I make sure to schedule twenty-minute breaks throughout the day, and I reserve one day a week for a day outing or a fun get-together with friends. My best ideas come to me right after taking time off!

    2. Go back in time.

    During your break, bring yourself back to the beginning of your current business or occupation.

    What used to excite you the most?

    What did you want to learn?

    What kind of future did you envision?

    What new experiences did you have and what did you learn from these experiences?

    When I answered the questions above, I realized that my busyness had taken me away from doing what I love most: inspiring others.

    3. Figure out what’s different now.

    Now it’s time to return to the present and compare your current situation to those first exhilarating days doing what you do.

    If you feel as though motivation has left you, it’s likely that you can relate to one of the following:

    • What used to be a new skill or a challenge has become something you could do in your sleep.
    • Your responsibilities have multiplied, and you find yourself overwhelmed with endless tasks.
    • You did a reality check, and concluded that you’re not likely to attain your previous, ambitious goals.
    • You’re not learning anymore, just doing the same thing over and over again.
    • Your interests or values have changed, and what you’re doing isn’t a good match anymore.

    Doing this exercise helped me realize that feeling overwhelmed was killing my inspiration.

    When you determine what is different now, you’ll have the clarity you need to move on to the next step in the process.

    4. Introduce changes.

    Complaining, feeling sorry for yourself, hoping to someday get rid of your business, or counting the days until you retire so you can finally do something you love are not choices that will lead to a happy and fulfilled life.

    You know what you want.

    You know what is missing.

    Now you must take action.

    You could delegate mundane tasks so that you could fully utilize your strongest skills.

    You could learn a new skill to help you advance toward your highest, original goals.

    You could find a mentor who’s been where you are and who would provide expert guidance as you make changes.

    You could find a supportive community of like-minded colleagues to brainstorm exciting ideas and meet new people.

    You could add new products or services to your business or switch to a new occupation that matches your current values and interests.

    I decided to outsource a few of my time-consuming, menial tasks and set aside more time to write, a source of personal joy and my favorite way to inspire those around me.

    Now, it’s your turn: Choose action steps that tackle whatever is bringing dissatisfaction into your life and killing your passion.

    Especially at the beginning, implementing any of these changes will feel uncomfortable, but the initial discomfort will be replaced with a sense of excitement and rekindled passion.

    5. Schedule your next break.

    Fuel the passion for what you do by scheduling regular checkpoints where you’ll take a step back and plan new changes if necessary.

    In time, you’ll experience a steady feeling of satisfaction and wellbeing. You’ll get out of bed every morning knowing you’re making a difference and following your passion!

    What changes are you planning to make so that you can rekindle the passion for what you do?

  • Discover Your Inner Confidence Through Skills You Already Love

    Discover Your Inner Confidence Through Skills You Already Love

    Confidence

    “I think a lot of people mistake my confidence on stage for cockiness in real life, and that’s actually farthest from the truth. When I’m on stage, I’m that confident and that cocky because I have a microphone in my hand, and there’s a few thousand people staring at me. And I know they’re there to laugh.” ~Russell Peters

    When I was ten, I opened the black, roughly textured box with the metal clasps, pulling out my first saxophone.

    The alto sax would come to represent my inner confidence. My true self. The person who paints with sound the complex musical phrases that make people smile.

    By the time I was in college, no crowd was large enough to intimidate me. Playing music was the ultimate outlet of my creative and emotional expression.

    As I write this, I can close my eyes and hear the rhythm section play the laid-back, sultry intro to John Coltrane’s Equinox. It’s a minor twelve-bar blues.

    The melody is simple, but it takes you somewhere. My fingers find the keys without thought. When my chance to improvise a solo arrives, it’s freedom.

    Okay, I’m passionate about this, as you can tell. Isn’t that the point?

    Passion and doing something really well are inseparable lovers. When you’ve crafted something into exquisite refinement, passion effortlessly flows from it.

    That’s my experience playing music, at least. But it wasn’t always that way.

    When I was a beginner, the saxophone was an intimidating beast of metal keys and rods. Perplexing like those handheld puzzle toys, or your first Rubik’s cube.

    Over time:

    • I learned one note, then two. Eventually I had all twelve.
    • I learned one rhythm, then another, which led to playing melodies.
    • I learned basic cords, then complex cords, and then I could improvise.
    • I played in school concerts, then small gigs, then large concert halls.

    This didn’t happen overnight. It took me about six years to become “pretty good.” There were eureka moments along the way where I took larger steps.

    Eventually, with deliberate effort, I knew enough to feel comfortable teaching others.

    Have you ever tried to learn a new skill? Hard work, isn’t it? It takes effort and time. Unless you’re a genius. And I’ve met very few of those.

    Start with What You’re Proud Of

    Write down ten skills you’re proud of. I know it sounds like a lot, but ten is the magic number. Use language that expresses your pride deeply.

    Nunchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer hacking skills (Okay, that was a lame Napoleon Dynamite reference).

    For example, I am proud that I can:

    1. Play sweet sounds on the saxophone
    2. Write well-researched, logically-organized blog posts.
    3. Design rock-solid, bug-free software that helps people
    4. Run a consistent, 23-minute 5K.
    5. Stay fit so I can play with my kids—like a kid
    6. Organize my time to be amazingly productive
      [ugh…this is getting hard…]
    7. Read one book every week
    8. Study academic papers and distill the key points
    9. Build sturdy furniture for our house through woodworking
    10. Cook delicious, healthy meals that nourish my family

    Your turn! Do this exercise. It’s an important first step.

    After all, how can you work on something new, like building supreme confidence, without knowing what worked for you in the past?

    Next, read the list out loud. Mentally reinforce your exceptional skills. When you’re struggling or trying to master a new skill, read it again. These are your reminders that mastery is possible.

    You Can Master Anything; the Skinny on Accelerated Learning

    In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell suggested that, with 10,000 hours of practice, anybody could become a world-class expert in any skill. He cited an academic article in Psychological Review titled, “The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert Performance.”

    In the article, the authors found that:

    “The differences between expert performers and normal adults reflect a life-long period of deliberate effort to improve performance in a specific domain.”

    Gladwell admitted that this doesn’t apply to skills that require genetic ability, like sports. But it works like a champ for everyday skills.

    Also, how you practice makes a huge difference.

    Therefore, we can say that repeatedly taking the right actions to improve performance will make you much better at a skill.

    Successful author and entrepreneur Tim Ferriss created a thirteen-part TV show called The Tim Ferriss Experiment. In the show, Tim acts as a “human guinea pig” by learning challenging skills—where he has no experience—in a ridiculously short period.

    For example, he learned how to play the drums, speak another language, and play golf. He sought out the world’s masters to crank up the process. Tim is living proof that you can learn just about anything, with no experience, and become very good at it. You can even do it quickly.

    Here’s the formula for mastering a skill:

    1. Identify what to work on—by seeking out experts.
    2. Identify how to work on these—see same experts.
    3. Put in deliberate, consistent effort—by carving out the time and developing habits.

    Question: How do I seek out experts (steps 1 and 2)?

    It’s the twenty-first century, my friend! Use the Internet—eBooks, blogs, podcasts, webinars. Or go traditional with paper books and conferences. Seek and ye shall find.

    Question: How do I put in deliberate, consistent effort (step 3)?

    In her book Everybody Writes, Ann Handley says that practicing thirty minutes each day is much more effective than practicing for four straight hours. If you do the math, that’s 210 minutes spread out over a week vs. 240 minutes in one sitting. Less time? I’ll take that any day.

    Go ahead and schedule daily time on your calendar and use an automatic reminder. Even if it’s just fifteen minutes every day. Focus on only the one skill during those fifteen minutes. You will progress rapidly from amateur to ace.

    When I look back on the list of skills I’m proud of, I realize that I went through this process for every single one. Sometimes it took me awhile to figure out what to practice or how to practice it, but then step 3 would create a feedback loop to steps 1 and 2.

    What Are You Waiting For? Discover Your Inner Confidence!

    I get wonderfully lost in the moment when I’m on stage. I’m relaxed. I’m having the time of my life. But a few years ago, if you asked me to put down my sax and say a few words to the audience? {Silence} {Heart beating faster} {Sweat, anxiety, palpitations}

    I couldn’t do it!

    Like almost everybody with a pulse, I was afraid of public speaking.

    But one day, I realized I was stuck. In my job, in my ability to move up, in my temporal position in space-time (Okay, that’s a stretch, but still a factual statement).

    I realized that, to pursue better opportunities, to network with people who could help me, and to portray myself as a true professional, I needed to be more confident.

    First thought: “Nah, I’m an introverted, socially awkward engineer. Not gonna happen.”

    …a few minutes go by as I ponder my continued stagnation…

    Second thought: “Hmm. How will I know unless I try? Let’s do this!”

    At that point, I decided to take up a new skill: the skill of confidence.

    I read books and blogs on speaking and influence, joined Toastmasters, attended public speaking conferences, and volunteered for small leadership positions.

    As I delved into this world with abandon, I noticed the same names and concepts surfacing repeatedly. I followed the breadcrumbs. They led me to the master craftsmen—people who could accelerate my learning because they had already toiled through the process.

    During this adventure (yes, that’s what it is!), I worked on my confidence every day.

    My first few speeches were god-awful. My next few were a bit better. I experimented with hacks to accelerate my learning, including self-feedback through video and round-robin evaluations.

    This new skill of mine started snowballing. I was a finalist in a humorous speech contest. I started mentoring others, including interns, colleagues, and anyone who was curious.

    Fast-forward to today: I finally feel I’m mastering the art of confidence.

    See what I did there? I used the A-word.

    Art.

    When you practice a skill, it becomes your passion. You start connecting with others, who respond with deep, meaningful emotion.

    You’ve arrived at artistry—the ultimate in human expression.

    Okay, enough daydreaming! Go forth use your inner confidence to develop outer confidence:

    • Look at your list of already-mastered skills to get motivated.
    • Identify a new skill to master, like confidence.
    • Seek out experts (online, books, podcasts, webinars, conferences).
    • Develop a fifteen-plus minute daily habit of working on the skill.
    • Conquer the skill.

    Did you try the exercises? Are you excited about your journey toward mastery of a new skill? 

    Confident boy image via Shutterstock

  • Why Hard Work Might Not Pay Off (and What Will)

    Why Hard Work Might Not Pay Off (and What Will)

    Hard Working Business Man

    “Man is only truly great when he acts from his passions.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

    At a young age I was told, “Without hard work nothing grows but weeds.”

    I was also told, “With hard work it was possible to achieve the American Dream.”

    I was not sure what the American Dream was, but I did what everyone around me seemed to be doing. Working hard. I did well in school, helped my mother at home and my father at his place of business.

    The world looked incredible to me growing up, and I was so passionate about waking up every day and exploring. I wondered why my parents and the other adults around me didn’t seem to be passionately alive.

    Didn’t everyone see what an incredible world this was?

    There was a glimpse of this passion they once had in the boxes of photographs in our living room closet. I would look through them on Saturday afternoons while babysitting my siblings so my parents could take a nap and rest their weary, hard working bodies.

    In the photos, they were young and full of raw passion. My favorites were of my mother at around twenty years old, dressed up in a leopard velvet fitted suit, working at Oleg Cassini, a NYC fashion company. Smiling.

    My Dad’s photos were of him as a young twenty year old in full military uniform on a US Navy ship, somewhere far away, looking over the side rail in contemplative thought. Thinking. His favorite thing to do, an intellectual. Looking far off into the distance. Tall, slim, and handsome.

    “When did they let that go?” I used to wonder. “When and why did Mom stop dressing up and working, and Dad stop writing and thinking, taking quiet contemplative time for himself?”

    Mom resigned herself to working hard at home with lots of kids to raise on a dead end street in the suburbs, which she hated. Dad worked a series of jobs in the business world that he was completely unsuited for.

    Mom let us all know how miserable she was by her lethargy, and Dad’s anger and rage let us know just how discontent he was. I know they were doing their best to keep it all together.

    Yet passion was nowhere to be found.

    What did I do? I followed in their footsteps. I got engaged at eighteen and stayed in the suburbs, which bored me to tears. I worked a well-paying job in finance that I was ill suited for.

    I was living the American Dream they told me about, only it was more like the American Nightmare.

    I found myself crying on the way to work every day, with no joy to share with my child. I found myself longing to leave my marriage, which I’d entered to please my parents, and get to know myself and what would make me happy.

    No one had ever asked me what I was passionate about, and I’d never thought of asking myself.

    The realization of what former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli said hit me. A great man or woman acts on their passion. I realized my greatness was in the one place no one told me about. In acting from my passion.

    For me that was writing. When I write I feel great. I feel passionate and alive. Just like a kid again. So that’s what I did. I moved to the city and studied writing as if my life depended on it, because it did.

    You may have some troublesome thoughts about the conflict of working hard vs. acting from passion. I know I did.

    If you’re not doing hard work, you may feel lazy or guilty. Or like it’s too good to be true. Following your passion seems like it’s easy, yet it can be hard work too. But it’s the kind of hard that’s fueled by pleasure and passion.

    Or maybe you want cold hard cash. You want stuff. You want to support yourself and your loved ones. So you take the work that you can get, or that makes the most money, or do what someone else wants you to do.

    Yet, what happens if you act from passion first? Get happy first? Before you decide on a career or take a job or get into a relationship. Or move to a city or countryside. What happens is that everything flows more easily from this place. Sure, you could work hard, just put passion first.

    How do you begin acting from your passions?

    Put passion first, even if it’s only in your thoughts at first.

    When you want to discover and act from your passion, you may have thoughts that challenge this new way of letting go of “hard” and gliding into joy and passion. So develop a mantra for yourself that you repeat, about giving yourself permission to put passion first.

    Hide from those that bring you down.

    Steer clear of the “hard work and little passion and play” people. Seek out those that understand how acting from passion first enhances your life and the life of everyone around you.

    Accept how hard your work and life really are and must be for now.

    Know that sometimes life is hard. And work is hard. World and life events and tragedies bring us down out of happiness and passion. Know that this is necessary so you can see the contrast of living from passion first to living from the work hard place.

    Remember, when you have passion about something you are more willing to take risks. Everyone can decide to work hard, but passion means something different to each person. Follow yours.

    You can have one leader that leads with hard work and another that leads with passion. Which one do you want to follow?

    Ask yourself some tough questions.

    What do you feel passionate about?

    If you have no idea, remember what you loved doing as a kid. What were your favorite toys and games?

    What activities do you partake in that, when you do them, you lose all sense of time?

    What do you really want to do but are afraid to say out loud?

    Close your eyes while contemplating this question. Feel the answers in your heart instead of thinking them with your head.

    Passion is not always strong and powerful. It can be calm and deep. Don’t worry about motivation. Once you feel the passion for something, the motivation comes with little effort.

    Queen Victoria invited Disraeli to become British Prime Minister, and they soon struck up a remarkable rapport thanks to Disraeli’s charm and skillful flattery.

    On finally achieving his long ambition, to become Britain’s Prime Minister, Disraeli declared, “I have climbed to the top of the greasy pole.”

    Find your own greasy pole, the one you are more than willing to climb, using passion as your inspiration and motivation. For whenever something great was accomplished in the world, it was done with passion.

    What are you doing to find yours?

    Hardworking man image via Shutterstock

  • Show Up for Yourself and Believe in Your Dream

    Show Up for Yourself and Believe in Your Dream

    Follow Your Dreams

    “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” ~Rumi

    My early life was challenging, to say the least. I grew up in a difficult home situation, which I hoped to escape through an early marriage. That marriage produced four beautiful children by the time I was twenty-one years old.

    We were very poor and I hoped to get us out of poverty, but I wasn’t sure it was possible.

    I’d been poor all my life. I didn’t really know what it was like to have abundance. I thought success was for “other people.” My only education was a GED and I couldn’t earn enough money to pay for childcare, much less improve our situation.

    It seemed to be hopeless, but I looked at my kids and decided that I had to try.

    It was my ambition to earn a bachelor’s degree, which I eventually did through grants, scholarships, and a lot of hard work.

    It took me five years to get through college. I finally graduated at the age of twenty-nine. After that, I always had a job and was able to take care of my family. Poverty was a distant memory.                      

    What does this mean for you?

    You can do a lot more than you think. You may never be twenty-one years old again, but you can have the essence of what it is that you really want. If you have a dream, it’s because there’s a part of you that’s whispering “yes” into your ear. Listen to it.

    Please don’t listen to the nay-sayers. There were so many people who never thought I’d make it. They told me to go on welfare, to tolerate abuse for myself and my children, to give up.

    If I’d listened to them, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. I did what needed to be done in order to achieve my dream, and so can you.

    Yes, it will be hard. There were many nights that I sat up crying in bed. There were the two weeks that I went hungry so that my children could eat while I waited for the food stamp application to be approved.

    When I enrolled in a junior college, I had a major meltdown on the very first day. I thought I’d lost my mind by signing up for all those classes. Who was I, trying to go to college in my mid-twenties with four children? I did it though.

    If you set a big goal for yourself, it’s okay if it’s hard. It’s not fun, but it’s okay. Anything you really want that you haven’t done yet is going to be hard. Expect it to be hard.

    If you’ve wanted something for this long, there’s a reason. Don’t betray yourself by not going for it. It will be hard. Do it anyway.

    It’s not too late to have what you want in life. Would it have been great to have everything you wanted by the time you were twenty-five? Sure, but most of us don’t. We all have struggles and challenges. We all know someone we think had it easier.

    In our culture, we’re bombarded with images of people living the dream. We feel like we are missing out if we don’t have it all.

    It’s helpful to remember that gorgeous twenty-somethings with money, fulfilling relationships, and successful careers are simply not the norm. We’re all human and we all have our struggles. Life is not a commercial.

    You’ll be much happier if you get over the myth that life should always be fun and easy. Start creating the life you want to have today. It’s only too late if you believe that it is. Thinking that it’s too late is an insidious myth in our youth-obsessed culture. Don’t fall for it.

    You can still earn your degree, find the relationship you want, get in shape, whatever it is that you want to have. Start now. In five years, you will be five years older whether or not you did anything with your life.

    The difference between those who achieve what they want in life and those who don’t is determination and tenacity, not luck, looks, or youth. I’m so grateful for the opportunities I’ve had in life, but the truth is, I’ve made the most of them and they only showed up when I did.

    Show up for yourself and the opportunities will appear. Maybe they won’t appear immediately, but if you stick with it, they will show up.

    The universe is an abundant place and there’s always a chance for us. Set your course today for the life you want to have and remember that you can do more than you think. The way will find you when you step up, believe in your own dream, and work toward it.

    Once you achieve your big dream, remember to pay it forward and encourage someone else who needs a reminder of what’s possible.

    Follow your dreams image via Shutterstock

  • Should You Sacrifice Financial Stability to Pursue Your Dream?

    Should You Sacrifice Financial Stability to Pursue Your Dream?

    Man Jumping Next to Dollar Symbol

    “If a person gets his attitude towards money straight, then it will help strengthen out almost every other area in his life.” ~Billy Graham

    To pursue financial security or your dream …

    You’re in conflict, right?

    I know because I’ve been there myself.

    People often tell us that money isn’t everything, so we assume we can sacrifice money to pursue our dreams. Somehow it will work out. At least that’s what I thought.

    What do you think about money? Is it everything or not?

    I quit my job when I got married. My husband was a pastor in a small rural community in Vermont, and my dream was to help those in need and work with him in the mission field.

    I helped serve in the community soup kitchen that ministered to those afflicted by addiction. Sometimes I worked in the food bank, and instead of getting paid in cash, they donated canned meat to the organization we were affiliated with.

    It was work that fulfilled my soul but not my wallet.

    Though I’ve been broke before and came out on top, I was suspicious we wouldn’t survive on one salary as a family.

    My husband reassured me money wasn’t everything and we’d be okay.

    Our budget was tight. We lived a simple life. We ate donated food, most of which was boxed and canned.

    I longed for homemade food with fresh produce, but we couldn’t afford it. Instead, we tweaked the boxed and canned food as best as we could to make it taste better. I learned that if I added a different spice to the same meal each time I cooked, it tasted better.

    We also learned to make our own 1% milk. We bought 2% milk, divided it into halves and filled each half with water. We didn’t care about the nutritional value as much as how far the milk would stretch.

    We were surviving, but when you’re as broke as we were, one small thing can turn your world upside down.

    We didn’t have health insurance, but I wasn’t bothered by it because I was healthy. Or so I thought.

    I had a cavity that had never been a problem for years until it woke me up in the middle of the night and made me scream in pain. Talk of the world turning upside down. We couldn’t afford a dentist. And the pennies in the jar weren’t enough to afford the smallest container of Tylenol.

    That is when I knew something had to change.

    Living in rural areas has its downside regarding jobs. At least I didn’t get one.

    A friend of mine knew how good I was with children and asked if I could watch her kids after school until she got home. I took her up on the offer.

    This offer was a win because I still helped with the mission work in the morning, and I got paid for nanny work in the evenings. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

    But, here is what I learned from the painful reality of becoming broke in the pursuit of dreams, and how to survive:

    1. Follow your instinct.

    I should have kept my job. Deep down I knew we wouldn’t survive on one salary, but I went ahead and quit. At least we should have first identified how much money we truly needed as a family before I quit.

    Do you have a constant battle in your mind, one side telling you to quit and the other telling you to suck it up? Follow your instinct, but remember that if you chose to quit without a savings account, the bills will still roll in.

    If your gut is telling you that quitting feels risky, be creative and find a way to pursue your dream while still maintaining your financial stability.

    2. Honor friendship.

    Sometimes we assume our BFFs knows what we’re going through, so we expect them to help. But in reality, they have no clue about how much we’re hurting.

    Confide in your trusted friends about what you’re going through — you’ll be surprised by the help you’ll receive.

    We sure wouldn’t have survived without friends. I called a friend when the toothache invaded and explained to her our money situation. She bought the largest container of Tylenol and paid the dentist fee.

    There is no shame in asking friends for help when we really need it. But don’t be a mooch. One day you can return the favor or pay it forward.

    3. Use your strength.

    We all have something unique within. We learned through experience, formal and informal education, or job experience. Yet we don’t utilize that talent.

    What are you really good at? What comes naturally to you? How can you use that skill to help you survive when you’re in a financial bind?

    When my friend suggested I watch her children after school, I took up the offer and loved it. The kids loved sewing and knitting. I used my teaching experience to implement the activities.

    4. Refuse to settle.

    Are you in a tough spot and feel like you have no way out? We’ve all been there.

    But don’t settle. Know that you deserve more. Settling can block your mind from seeing when new opportunities arise.

    I told everyone I came across how poor we were and that I was okay with it because we were doing good work. But deep down inside, I wasn’t okay.

    I longed for things I couldn’t afford, like a nice, warm winter coat. But the most unbearable parts were the things I couldn’t provide for my son.

    For example, he didn’t even bother to tell us about the cookie exchange at school because he knew we couldn’t afford to contribute. He told his teacher his parents were always broke, so the teacher had other kids donate cookies to him.

    It’s okay to experience being broke, but believe that you will find a way to change your situation. The more you believe, the more open you’ll be to potential opportunities.

    5. Take consistent action.

    Does your dream seem difficult to achieve? Is money holding you back? What can you do to bring you closer to it?

    Be patient and consistence with yourself. Slowly and steadily work toward it.

    You don’t have to achieve it overnight. Look at how long runners take to practice before they can win.

    I slowly and steadily continued to pursue my dream while taking care of my financial responsibilities.

    Trust me; you can pursue your dream slowly and still take care of yourself financially.

    6. Create an emergency fund.

    An emergency fund will save you on a rainy day.

    Start saving whatever you’re able to, no matter how little. Lets say you tuck away $10 weekly that adds up to $520 a year.

    That right there will make you giddy on a rainy day.

    If we had money saved my toothache wouldn’t have turned our world upside down. If you don’t have a financial cushion, wait to pursue your dreams until you do.

    Take action and follow your dreams while protecting yourself financially.

    Because you don’t want to look back and regret that you followed your dream and had no money to spend.

    But don’t let opportunities beneficial to your dreams pass by.

    Believe in yourself, and call your own shots regarding your dream and money.

    Slowly and steadily start working toward your dream.

    What steps are you taking today to survive your financial struggles and pursue your dream?

    Man and dollar symbol image via Shutterstock

  • Stop Waiting for Permission to Live the Life You Want to Live

    Stop Waiting for Permission to Live the Life You Want to Live

    “One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

    I know you.

    You’re smart. You’re driven. You’re a “good girl/boy.” You found out a long time ago that life goes more smoothly for people who follow the rules, so you learned the rulebook inside out.

    People expected things from you, and you made it your job to live up to those expectations—and probably beat yourself up inside when you fell short.

    But now you’re stuck, the way anyone who has spent their life making other people happier than they make themselves gets stuck.

    You wish you could go back to school to study what you really love doing, or maybe you want to start your own business, or buy a camper and drive cross-country, or move to a big city. Or quit your high-stress, high-paying job and instead do simpler work for less money that makes you look forward to getting out of bed every day.

    And every once in a while, when you’re not busy getting your to-do list checked off or giving your time to the people in your life who always seem to need you—when things get real quiet—you feel absolutely desperate.

    You hear the clock ticking, and it’s the ticking off of the moments of a life that’s passing you by.

    You see a whole string of days ahead of you. Out of bed. Off to work. Watch the clock. Count the hours ‘til the weekend. Rejoice on Friday evening. Lament on Sunday night. Repeat.

    Nothing new. Nothing real. Nothing joyful.

    You know, somewhere inside you, that there has to be more than this.

    I know you. I am you.

    I realized not long ago that I’ve spent my entire life waiting for permission. Because I’m a good girl, you see. In my twenties I felt the burning desire in my heart for something more than a go-nowhere nine-to-five office job and the bar on the weekends.

    I wanted a career as a singer. Travel. Excitement. Adventure. Heart-stopping moments of bliss.

    And I wanted somebody—anybody—to tell me that it was okay, that I should go ahead with it. I don’t mean Oprah or some random person speaking to the masses. I wanted somebody who knew me to give me the green light.

    Guess what? It never happened, and it never will. Why? Because nobody can give us permission but ourselves.

    Nobody outside ourselves knows what’s going on in our hearts, no matter how we try to explain.

    Have you ever found this to be true? You can try and try, but there’s a nuance, a depth of desire, that’s impossible to describe. It has to be felt, and nobody else can feel it but the person whose heart is burning.

    So we wait. We wait for permission. Many of us die waiting for it.

    I don’t want to die waiting for it. Do you?

    It’s time for us to come out of our shells and admit that we want more. Let’s be honest with each other and ourselves about what we want out of life. Let’s truly support each other and push each other and not take any excuses.

    And let’s stop taking guff from the rest of the world—the ones who are still too afraid to leave the status quo behind. If that’s really what they want, let’s bless them and then move the heck on, because life is too short to be wasted on wondering what somebody else thinks of us.

    We simply have to be the heroes of our own lives. I’m willing to dust off my cape and step into that role.

    Are you?

    Here are some bits of resistance that will probably come up for you once you decide to reclaim your hero status. (Because you were totally the hero of your own life when you were a kid; you just forgot. Don’t worry. It’s totally cool. Most of us forget!)

    This is too hard.

    No, it’s not easy. But what’s easier—living a beige life for endless (yet all-too-short) years, or accepting discomfort in the present in order to live the technicolor dream life we yearn for?

    There comes a time when we have to move through what’s hard in order to get to “What took me so long to get started?” This is growth, and growth can be uncomfortable, but it’s always worthwhile.

    I’m too old to get started.

    This logic makes absolutely no sense, yet I’m willing to bet there’s no one who hasn’t told themselves this at some point.

    Guess what? If school is going to take you four, five, or six years, you’ll just get that much older anyway, whether or not you go to school. Wouldn’t you rather be happier and feel more accomplished at that point, or would you rather just feel older?

    What will ______ think?

    Listen, nothing anybody does or thinks or says to or about us has anything to do with us. It’s all about their own hang-ups, insecurities, and jealousies.

    We all apply the filter of our own experiences to what we see other people doing with their lives, and chances are our interpretation of even the people closest to us is way off base.

    People won’t accept me.

    I can’t even be flippant about this because you’re probably right. There will likely be at least one person who can’t get on board with your authentic vision for your life. But you know what? For every one person who can’t understand you, there are fifty people who will—you just haven’t met them yet.

    This isn’t the right time.

    Fact: There will never be a right time. Waiting for the right time is just a form of procrastination that stems from fear. Now is the time to get moving. You’ll figure things out as you go.

    Am I crazy?

    No. You’re finally sane. It’s the version of you who believed life was meant to be a boring slog-fest that was crazy.

    Is this even worth it?

    Yes. A million times, yes.

    So, are you ready? Let’s do this. Let’s reclaim our dreams, and when we do, we’ll inspire others to do the same.

    Because life is too short to be spent waiting for permission to get started.

  • How to Discover the Work That Will Bring You Joy and Purpose

    How to Discover the Work That Will Bring You Joy and Purpose

    “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” ~David Viscott

    You are a seeker. Searching for more of life. More joy. More depth. More connection. More happiness.

    Our generation is not willing to settle for meaningless existence. Just to get by, just to keep it all together. It doesn’t interest us any more.

    We want more freedom. Especially in the realm of our work.

    But it can seem like a long road between ‘here’ and ‘there.’ From this job, from this life into… the unknown.

    We know there is deeper purpose to fulfill, so we start to ask ourselves the question…

    What Would Make Me Happy?

    Four years ago I started asking myself this question. And I was coming up with nothing. Silence. Not good.

    I was working as a successful hospital pharmacist, moving up the ladder into management. I made great money and was well respected and efficient. But I was unhappy.

    My professional dissatisfaction had become physical, and my body was speaking to me with symptoms of severe nausea. Sugar consumption was at an all time high and I had to get out.

    But where to go? What would make me happy? What would I rather do?

    I had no idea.

    If you too are at career and life crossroads, you are likely asking yourself this question too. What would make you happy?

    And perhaps, like me, you won’t be able to answer the question at first. Or, if you do dream up a solution it involves distant countries, foreign adventures, and escape. And in your heart you know that’s not the answer.

    You desire a life that you don’t need a holiday to “escape from.”

    You desire a life that is the destination.

    When I first asked myself this question—what would make me happy?—the hospital pharmacist had no clue.

    I was going through the motions of life and finding pleasure in its various pursuits, but there was nothing that really lit me up. Nothing that really sang to my heart.

    And I was frustrated. How was I so numb to life that I couldn’t answer the simple question in a meaningful, not just fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of way?

    So I rephrased the question from “What would make me happy?” to something more achievable. “What am I curious about?”

    I removed the pressure for this next job to be “the thing that made me happy” and I created space for possibility.

    Every single possibility that sparked a trace of passion or happiness was followed, and it looked like:

    Could I sell antiques? Let me investigate… Perhaps organizing weddings? Or bake bliss balls?

    Maybe I could be a yoga teacher? The list goes on…

    And something remarkable began to happen. I found the more I explored, the more I got to know myself again.

    The more I discovered what didn’t make me happy, the closer to joy I felt.

    The more I became sensitized to what really lit me up, the clearer my direction felt.

    Create Space

    By this stage the desire for change was relentless. The pain of going on, in the current incarnation of my work, was greater than the fear of stepping into the unknown.

    And so I stepped. I reduced my pharmacy job hours and I created space for more possibility, more curiosity, and more purpose to flow into my life.

    When we are busy, the sheer inertia of our day often takes over. Our habits of keeping everything on track, worshiping the goddess of busy, and forgetting to prioritize our pleasure become the norm.

    And these are the same habits that we see to re-write.

    But re-calibration needs space to occur.

    Just like downloading new software to your computer, and waiting for the re-boot to happen, this upgrade takes time. And patience. And the screen will go black for a while.

    We have to be open and willing to sit in the black void while the download is received, while the new paradigm is created. We have to create the space for desire to arrive.

    And keeping busy doesn’t create space. It just creates more of the same.

    Essentially, if you keep on doing what you’re doing, you will keep on getting what you’re getting.

    Stop Reward-Consuming and Clear Your Debt

    At this point in my journey, and in the journey of so many others, money always comes up as ‘the thing.’

    I have expenses. I have a mortgage. I couldn’t possibly live on any less income. It feels risky.

    I hear you.

    But what price do you place on your joy?

    Consider this. The busy paradigm most us live in isn’t overflowing with joy or purpose. So we learn to compensate with treating ourselves to this restaurant, that holiday, this new wardrobe, and that green smoothie every time we are out.

    We find rewards to compensate for our unhappiness, because our consumption increases proportional to our dissatisfaction with life.

    These ‘rewards’ become just that. Rewards. To keep our heads above the surface in a career or life or relationship we don’t otherwise find joyful.

    What if, with the creation of space and the following of your curiosities, you could create more joy, with less stuff?

    I’m not saying that your new joy-filled job is going to pay less. In fact, I would argue that you will probably earn more (I do). But in the short term, your change of direction takes investment. Investment in yourself.

    During my own transition period of creating more space and following my curiosities there were two essential and practical outcomes:

    • I stopped mindlessly consuming. I started investing solely in myself and what nurtured me.
    • I cleared my debts so I felt free to follow my desires, wherever they led.

    And with time, space, and curiosity I felt ready to face the big question.

    What Is My Purpose?

    I started to feel into: What is this concept that we call purpose? How did she get it? And how can I get there?

    So many nights I sat with this question.

    During one of these soul-searching nights I read a quote from the Dali Lama where he said, “The purpose of life is to be happy,” and I realized the truth.

    No one job can define my purpose. No one choice, or label, or career can be my purpose.

    Purpose cannot be defined by one thing. Purpose is a choice that I make every day. A choice about how I show up in the world.

    When I show up with my heart open and I follow my desires, my truth, my passion, my happiness and I share that with the world, I am living my purpose.

    Purpose = sharing my passion with the world.

    This definition of purpose isn’t restricted to one career or one choice. It’s a simple choice every day.

    I can show up as pharmacist Jenna sharing my passion and live a life of purpose.

    I can show up as kinesiologist Jenna sharing my passion and live a life of purpose.

    Which means the more I open my heart, the more I follow my passion, the more I serve through that passion, the more purpose I find in life.

    But following your passion might not manifest as a career at first. Because purpose is more than a job.

    It’s a way of living.

    And often when seeking transformation, the change has to happen within before it manifests out in the world.

    Connecting with your deep passion, which knows how to answer the question “What would make me happy?” fills you up from within. And when that vessel is full, it overflows.

    Into the service of others and into jobs and careers and meaning in the world.

    Which is what we are seeking. More joy. More depth. More connection. More happiness.

    You are the only one who can make the choice, the space, the commitment.

    Choose yourself.

  • The Magic of Momentum: A Simple Path to Achieving Any Goal

    The Magic of Momentum: A Simple Path to Achieving Any Goal

    Man at Summit

    “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” ~Confucius

    What stops so many people from changing their lives is a lack of momentum. They feel daunted by the sheer size of the task ahead and so revert back to inertia. It’s so much easier to just trudge along and hope that one day it gets better.

    I used to get up at 5.30 in the morning every Tuesday to attend a business networking breakfast. It was a severe shock to the system at first, and as I drove to the hotel where the event was held, I thought to myself, “What am I doing on this motorway so early?”

    This was quickly followed by the question “What are all those other people doing on this motorway, and where are they going?” I did this for over three years.

    Don’t get me wrong, I did get business from attending this group. Not great business, but business nonetheless.

    I actually ended up running this networking group, and that’s when the trouble started. I reasoned that in order for everyone to get more business, we should grow the group. Instantly, splinter groups formed and started lobbying to get me removed as director.

    I got upset at first, as I was acting in what I thought was the interests of the group, but they just wanted a cozy boys club with a few token females and weren’t interested in ramping things up.

    My partner suggested instead of getting up at 5.30 in the morning to get stabbed in the back by a load of schoolchildren, I get up at the same time and compose music in my garage studio. So I took her advice and quit the networking group the next week. It was the best thing I have ever done.

    In that hour before I went to my day job, I set about composing a full blown symphony for a seventy-five-piece orchestra, followed by four other albums worth of material. All this from just one hour a week.

    I had truly engaged upon my journey of a thousand miles and it began with a single step—setting aside one hour a week. So what lessons have I learnt from this experience?

    1. Find just one hour a day or a week and see what you can accomplish.

    It’s the discipline of finding that single hour in which to start your masterwork that makes the journey truly begin. I swapped the hour I was giving to the networking club for an hour in my studio.

    Examine your week. Could you get up an hour early five days a week, or one day a week? It might be best to avoid Mondays or Fridays, but what about the other days? Is your dream important enough to give up an hour of sleep?

    2. When you do something strictly, regularly, and without fail, it becomes a habit.

    It was the fixing of a set time each week that would not be broken, come hell or high water. I used to sit in the garage with a fan heater on, hat, fingerless gloves, scarf, and winter coat, but I never broke that appointment with myself. I already had shown I had the discipline to do this from attending the networking group.

    3. A single step if followed by another step becomes a journey of a thousand miles.

    Taking the first step is one of the hardest parts, so don’t think about the end destination. If you were going to walk for a thousand miles, you would probably give up if you kept thinking, “How am I going to walk that far?”

    So just think about achieving small steps. I would write just a few bars each week, and it gradually grew into a symphony. It took six months, but I got there in the end.

    4. There is magic in momentum.

    Once the weekly or daily routine has set in, it becomes a firm habit. Then you start to see progress and begin to feel proud of what is forming in front of your eyes.

    You might be building a blog or website, and that little bit of regular effort begins to create something amazing. If you are trying to tackle a physical goal, like running a marathon, your regular discipline will, over time, lead to increased strength and endurance.

    That is the magic of momentum. Once the flywheel has got over the enormous effort to begin moving, momentum takes over and the wheel begins to turn on its own using momentum. This is what you will find once the habit is engrained.

    5. Don’t stop the habit once you have that magical momentum.

    It might have been tempting to stop the early Tuesday morning habit when I finished my symphony so I could get some more sleep. But having seen the magic of momentum, I then plunged myself into composing new tracks for the next album, and was bashing them out at the rate of a new track each week.

    Twelve weeks later another album was completed, and a month later it was in the shops. Wow! This was exciting. This was addictive.

    Don’t make the mistake of pausing or losing momentum. Launch into the next project, the next book, the next album, the next painting, the next mosaic, the next marathon, the next website. Keep that morning habit.

    6. Leave that magical hour for your dream.

    Don’t be tempted to do administrative tasks in that golden hour. Try to make that hour as productive as possible.

    If you are painting, then get your palette ready ahead of the golden hour (choose the paints and have the tubes of paint lined up).

    If you are a musician, get your sound palette ready in advance (choose your drum sounds, samples, etc.).

    If you are writer, have your research done and your notes written up so that you can launch into the first chapter or the next chapter.

    If you’re training for a marathon, have your clothes and shoes ready so you have the full hour to run.

    Equally, promoting your masterpiece should be confined to other times of the day. If you are building a website or blog, just focus on writing new content. Leave the social media promotion to another time.

    7. An hour becomes much much more—just wait and see!

    The clever thing about limiting yourself to one hour a week or one hour a day is that before you know it, you are doing tasks relating to that hour at other spare slots in your week. The momentum creates excitement; you see that you are making serious progress, and this spurs you on to more; at least, that how it works for me.

    Go and take your first step on that thousand-mile journey!

    Man at summit image via Shutterstock