Tiny Buddha

Tag: Mindfulness

  • How to Meditate at Any Time without Meditating

    How to Meditate at Any Time without Meditating

    “If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    Flour. Salt. Water. Yeast. As I push the warm, soft dough against my palm, I feel the cold stone countertop underneath. I feel my hips leaning up against the cabinets. I hear my breath inside my head.

    As I knead the dough, it changes. The dough becomes more elastic and flexible, ready to rise and be baked into a crusty loaf.

    As I make bread, I change. My thoughts go quiet. I come into the now.

    I have struggled with an inconsistent meditation practice for months. In those moments when I successfully meditate and clear my mind, I feel such a sense of accomplishment and peace.

    But as any beginning meditator knows, those moments are few and far between.

    Usually, my scattered mind is split between keeping track of the time, trying to quiet the voice in my head, and chastizing my body for fidgeting. 

    I struggled and pushed myself to meditate properly with little success, until I realized that any act can be a meditation.

    I discovered this fundamental insight through books by Eckhart Tolle and Thich Nhat Hanh. It is not so important to sit with a perfectly erect spine for twenty minutes per day in meditative bliss. What is important is to be here, in the now. Living your life. Noticing what is. Noticing life.

    So often throughout our days we are lost in our thoughts. We may be on the train or in the shower, but in our heads we are already giving that important presentation, having the difficult conversation, worrying about and planning for what might happen next. (more…)

  • 11 Simple Ways to Supercharge Your Time in the Now

    11 Simple Ways to Supercharge Your Time in the Now

    “To be alive is to totally and openly participate in the simplicity and elegance of here and now.” ~Donald Altman

    Five years ago my life was a mess. I was anxious, worried, afraid, and running away from my feelings. I was running away from the present moment.

    So, what happened?

    I started applying what I knew, which were really simple things such as breathing, visualization, and being aware of my thought patterns.

    I haven’t found the Holy Grail; I simply took action. I had no idea how much my life was about to change, I just knew something had to change, because the way I was living (and feeling) wasn’t cutting it.

    I’d had enough of suffering. I wanted more. I’m not perfect, no one is, but I’m moving forward. If you’d like to do the same, I recommend the following.

    1. Breathe.

    What would an article about being present be without breathing at the top?

    I stumbled onto old Buddhist texts early on in my life, and they emphasized breathing, so I started doing that.

    At first it was hard because my mind was racing all over the place, but after a while I became aware of the muscles and subtle energy sensations in my body.

    When I focused on one part of my body, I started noticing a tingling of energy there. When I anchored myself into this very moment through my breath, I felt good, sometimes amazingly good. (more…)

  • Book Giveaway and Interview: One Minute Mindfulness

    Book Giveaway and Interview: One Minute Mindfulness

    Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to learn about future giveaways!

    The winners:

    As you can likely tell from the number of author interviews/giveaways I’ve posted during these last few weeks, I’ve been receiving and reading a wide selection of books lately. One-Minute Mindfulness is now sitting on my coffee table, where I know I will refer it often.

    The full title reads One-Minute Mindfulness: 50 Simple Ways to Find Peace, Clarity, and New Possibilities in a Stressed-Out World. It delivers on its promise.

    From the Amazon Description:

    In this book, Donald Altman brings the benefits of mindfulness down to earth and into everyday life. With fifty exercises and practices to build awareness and center attention, you will discover how to savor routine pleasures, build fulfillment in your work, enhance and heal relationships, change unhealthy habits, and connect to peace even in the midst of chaos or uncertainty.

    The Giveaway

    To enter to win one of 5 free copies of One-Minute Mindfulness:

    1. Leave a comment on this post.
    2. Tweet: RT @tinybuddha Giveaway and Interview: One-Minute Mindfulness by Donald Altman http://bit.ly/mQfaHA

    You can enter until midnight PST on Sunday, September 25th.

    The Interview

    1. In your book, One Minute Mindfulness, you offer a variety of practices to create mindfulness in 60 seconds. It’s an accessible practice, since everyone can find a minute here and there throughout their day. Do you find that integrating these practices into a daily routine creates more mindfulness overall?

    In my mind, there’s no question that this increases the level of overall mindfulness. This is actually in line with the Buddha’s teachings—that mindfulness is used every possible moment. And it’s why mindfulness is considered to be a path to enlightenment.

    Each next sixty seconds holds the potential for anyone to open with spaciousness to whatever is happening, to see the truth of that moment. You can only do that in the next minute that is right before you, which is why a one-minute mindfulness practice is so valuable. (more…)

  • 5 Simple but Powerful Choices for Pure Peace and Contentment

    5 Simple but Powerful Choices for Pure Peace and Contentment

    “Until you make peace with who you are, you will never be content with what you have.” ~Doris Mortman

    Every day I chat with a friend and he always asks, “How are you?” This isn’t the superficial greeting we often give to an acquaintance in passing. He really wants to know, and I usually oblige with an honest snapshot of how my life is at the moment.

    I began to notice that my answers contained words like “quiet,” “peaceful,” and “content.” Could this be the elusive happiness that I spend so much energy and time to achieve? And could it have settled subtly on my shoulder like a shy butterfly while I was busy with my life?

    I am constantly reading and analyzing how I can make my short time on earth better. In general, life is good. But like many people, I often fall into the trap of trying to do too much, be too much, and painstakingly pick myself apart for being human.

    I took some time to reflect what changes I had made over the last few months that would have opened me to a feeling of pure contentment. By contentment, I simply mean I feel fine and secure with what I have, what I am, and where I am going right at this moment.  I know things can change, but I feel now is perfect.

    Here are the five things I identified that led me to find a harmony within, however fleeting.

    1. Show humility.

    I live in Florida, where the housing market is especially broken. The loss of tourism, the NASA space program, and other economic hardships here have caused many friends to lose their homes to foreclosure. I am reminded everyday to be grateful for things such as a house I love and the ability to share with my children.

    When I sweep my floors, I think, “I feel thankful to have what I have and the joy to taking care of it.” It sounds funny, but many boring household chores are what others would wish for. These chores are a service to my family and a healthy dose of humbleness for my soul.

    2. Recognize enough.

    With practice, and gentle reminders from those I respect, I have finally accepted my true life is happening right now. I celebrate the accomplishments and good things as they happen and avoid looking ahead too far for more of the same.

    Going slowly and enjoying the journey is “life.” Rushing the moment can take such fun out of the anticipation. Expectations can lead to disappointment, but accepting what I have been given now is contentment.

    If right now is painful for you, try thinking, “I’m growing,” instead of “I’m hurting.” It’s pain and discomfort that causes us to move. Sometimes the move is necessary and beneficial overall.

    I repeat the mantra “I have what I need” often to remind me that now is not just enough, but a blessing.

    3. Simplify life.

    Give up what you don’t need and be glad you did. So many things can fall into this category. Material things take space and energy to maintain. Toxic relationships tax our positivism and peacefulness. Worry and despair over things we cannot change rob our sense of well being.

    Very few things in life are a real crisis. Those that are cannot be solved by worry but by deliberate and thoughtful actions. Take decisive action to cut out the things that complicate and thus rob you of true contentment.

    I’ve begun to clear whole days on my calendar of planned events. These are free days that I can spend with my family spontaneously.

    4. Have real fun.

    Regret can be a mood killer. We often take the serious and over-analyzed road when making decisions. It’s good to be responsible; it’s also good to take a chance even if it entails a big mistake.

    I went to Las Vegas once and really wanted to try a live poker tournament. I chickened out and instead watched a friend try it. It is something I still wish I had pushed myself to do.

    Is a card game a life or death situation? No. But I should have allowed myself the fun, and if the chance arises again, I’m on it! Respect your boundaries, but be open to experiences and challenges that offer a sense of peace.

    5. Make room for quiet.

    Whether you pray, meditate, listen to nature, or even just be, allow yourself to hear what’s in your heart. Connecting with what is inside better prepares you to deal with the exterior world with calmness and peace. Give up control and release yourself to thoughts and emotions that can heal, strengthen, and even surprise you.

    Your inner voice often has something to say. You can best recognize that gut feeling that can act as a reliable compass once you turn off all the noisy, messy distracting sounds of life. I describe it as being “plugged in” to the positivity around me.

    I am not all calmness and peace all the time. I have a full and often chaotic life with children and a job. But, with a few mindful adjustments, I have found a season of contentment, and for that my thankfulness abounds!

  • Balanced Living: How to Stay on Track

    Balanced Living: How to Stay on Track

    “Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential.” ~Winston Churchill

    I declared myself a mess a long time ago. I lived in a constant, dull state of fear and anxiety. My emotions were more volatile than hurricane season, and not even I could predict how any given situation would affect me.

    I may not have known it at the time, but I was miserable. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t and fit into a fast-paced life that I just wasn’t made for.

    I was constantly overwhelmed by just about everything—being stuck in traffic, waiting in lines, driving long distances, folding the laundry, working a full day, even doing my hair.

    It seemed like life was a struggle and a whole lot of effort that didn’t really get me anywhere.

    Apparently over time, I had conditioned myself to react to the activity and obligations of my life with worry, anxiety, and exponential stress.

    I didn’t crave the life I was living. I craved balance. And I lacked passion. Something had to give.

    It did, almost by mistake. I found myself poking around Tiny Buddha about a year ago, and the rest was history. Over time I discovered newfound energy by changing my internal perspective on daily living.

    I challenged my toxic thoughts and actions and found peace in the present moment.  I uncovered new ways to look at emotions, relationships, and situations in my life.

    Instead of continuing to fight it, I made a decision to accept and flow with the monotony, bustle, and pressure of life. I made a list of what was truly important to me instead of living by someone else’s rules. Also, I stopped sabotaging my body with distorted eating habits.

    I realized that I was okay, that I was enough, and it was actually pretty cool to be me.

    As a result, I feel more settled. I also feel more direction and balance than ever before in my life. I still get wound up, but my lows are nowhere near as low as before. (more…)

  • How to Reduce Stress by Doing Less and Doing It Slowly

    How to Reduce Stress by Doing Less and Doing It Slowly

    Zen man

    “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” ~Socrates

    In April, NPR ran a story titled, “The Slow Internet Movement.” It reported that hipster cities, like Portland, Oregon, are sprouting Internet cafés that only offer dial-up access to the web.

    These cafés give customers, “Slow pours and slow Internet. Here, you can order your coffee and spend four hours checking your email, all for $.99 an hour.”

    “Wow,” I thought.” That’s just my speed!” (No pun intended.) But the story didn’t just run in April. It ran on April 1st and was NPR’s little April Fools joke at the expense of gullible people like me.

    It got me thinking, though. Life would be much less stressful if I embraced the spirit of the Slow Internet Movement. So, here are four tips for slowing down:

    1. Double the time you think it will take to complete a task.

    How often do you clock in at or under the time you’ve allotted for a task? I rarely do. Take my raised ivy geranium bed. Periodically, the geraniums spill over onto the walkway and I need to cut them back.

    Every time I assess the task, I estimate it will take twenty minutes at most. But it always takes at least twice that long. By the time I’m done, due to chronic illness, I’ve used up my energy stores for the day. I’m “trashed” as we call it my household.

    Inspired by The Slow Internet Movement, when I tackled the task a few weeks ago, I doubled my twenty-minute time estimate. Forty minutes is more than I can handle at one time, so I cut back half the geraniums on Saturday and the other half on Sunday.

    Sure, the box looked odd for twenty-four hours—like half of a buzz cut—but no one seemed to notice. Not only did I spare myself burnout, but I truly enjoyed the activity both times. (more…)

  • Set Yourself Free: 3 Ideas to Become More Conscious

    Set Yourself Free: 3 Ideas to Become More Conscious

    “I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    I’m sitting on a straw bail at an unplugged rock concert that’s being held in Barrydale, South Africa, my current home and sanctuary. It’s a big deal for this small town, because nothing much ever really happens here.

    Everyone from the area has arrived dressed to the hilt and ready to rumba—except me, that is. I’m sitting to the side (in an outfit that will scare away most normal people) staring forlornly off into the distance.

    My buddy Sean sits next to me with a smile the size of the bread roll he’s holding in his hand. He jokes around and chats away like today might be his last day on earth, while I try hard to flash some teeth at least once every twenty minutes, just so I don’t ruin the party for everyone else.

    I probably won’t remember this concert at all in a couple of years’ time. It will become an unidentifiable part of the gray mass of other lost memories that make up most of my life.

    I guess I’m somewhere in my head, sorting through what I perceive to be the missing pieces of my life. I’m here, but I’m not really here at all. I’m so absorbed in dissecting the future and the past and my perception of my life that I’m completely missing what’s happening around me. I can’t see it at all.

    If I could manage to let go of my own expectations of life—just for a second—and zoom out a little bit, I would probably see that in the context of the bigger picture, my worries do not warrant this behavior, not in the least. It takes some doing, but in the end I finally get there.

    Most of us spend our lives living in a kind of insular trance. We are essentially asleep to the world.

    The older we get, the more our lives become like the predictive text on our cell phones: we have a fairly good idea of our day, the route we’ll take, the things that will come up and the people we will see, and our minds just kind of fill in the blanks. (more…)

  • How to Enjoy Food More: 7 Tips to Savor Meals

    How to Enjoy Food More: 7 Tips to Savor Meals

    “We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.” –Adelle Davis

    As I mentioned before in my blog post about needing less money, I recently decided to offer barter advertising through Tiny Buddha—meaning I plan to promote products and services I support in exchange for things I need.

    This week I started my first barter arrangement with L.O.V.E. Delivery, a company here in Los Angeles that delivers organic produce right to your door.

    Before my first shipment arrived two days ago, I actually found myself anticipating its arrival with giddy enthusiasm, like a kid on Christmas.

    It was kind of exciting to know I’d be getting a more diverse assortment of produce than I’d purchase in the store; and it would all be naturally produced, fresh, and personally packaged by someone who loves the work he does.

    I also appreciated that receiving this food created a sense of mealtime mindfulness that started with the delivery, extended to the preparation, and then culminated with a sense of hyper-awareness while eating. It’s instinctive to savor food when you feel a sense of respect and even awe for it.

    I haven’t always felt that way. As a teen and in my early 20s, food was my enemy. I felt happiest when I felt in control of it—meaning I ate a minimal amount of it.

    Even after I adopted a healthier attitude toward food, it remained a rival of sorts. All too often, I hurried through the grocery store, piled the cheapest and easiest-to-prepare items in my cart, and then rushed through the acts of cooking and eating, like items to be checked off my to-do list.

    Anyone who has traveled internationally knows that many other cultures enjoy the experience of preparing and eating meals far more than most of us do in the United States. (more…)

  • 7 Obstacles to Mindfulness and How to Overcome Them

    7 Obstacles to Mindfulness and How to Overcome Them

    “Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Unknown

    Mindfulness has allowed me to become more aware of my thoughts and reach a sense of inner peace.

    As my awareness has increased, so has the peace and joy in my life. The more familiar I have become with the inner workings of my mind, the better I have started to feel.

    I came onto the path of mindfulness, meditation, and spirituality when I was sixteen years old. I saw the TV-series Ed, where the main character started experimenting with lucid dreaming.

    That got me interested, and that is where my journey started. It hasn’t been an easy journey by any means, but I’m nearing a decade on this path, and I don’t regret it for a moment.

    I’ve been through a lot of challenges, such as going through brief spurts of depression. I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough, and that life wouldn’t work out the way I wanted it to.

    In every one of these cases I let my thoughts run wild. I started focusing on the negative instead of on the positive, and I think many people have the same tendency.

    So there have been both ups and downs, but in the end they have all been there for a reason. And with each “bad period,” I’ve learned more and more about myself.

    I’ve learned more about what works and what doesn’t, and they have all been blessings in disguise.

    I have wanted to give up many times, but I’m glad that I kept going.

    Truly living in the present moment isn’t easy, but it is highly rewarding. The best way to move forward on your own path to “here and now” is to understand the potential obstacles and plan in advance how you’ll deal with them. (more…)

  • Feel Happy and Stress-Free: 7 Simple Tips to Stay in the Now

    Feel Happy and Stress-Free: 7 Simple Tips to Stay in the Now

    “No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.” ~Brendan Francis

    Anyone can be mindful for a moment or two, but developing your mindfulness muscle means that you have to take things to a higher level.

    In today’s world it’s all too easy to get distracted from what’s truly important. Wherever you go and whatever you do, you see messages designed to get you to perform a specific action and distract you from the fact that you are already whole.

    There are no reminders to be mindful unless we create them.

    The responsibility is in your hands. Staying in the present moment can dramatically reduce stress, increase your happiness, and give you bursts of insight that might change your life.

    Ever since I’ve started becoming aware of my thoughts and staying in the now, my life has improved significantly, and I know yours will, too.

    Here are a few down-to-earth tips on how to become more mindful:

    1. Notice your tendencies.

    You and I, we both have our unique tendencies that distract us from the present moment. I’m a worrier, so I tend to think about the future and try to solve problems before they even happen.

    What are your tendencies? What kind of thoughts tend to rob you of the now?

    These questions will help you become more mindful about what is going on in your head, which in turn leads to mindfulness. (more…)

  • 5 Ways for Parents to Manage Anxiety

    5 Ways for Parents to Manage Anxiety

    “I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    I thought I had relinquished anxiety after a few years of mindfulness and meditation. Then I had a baby. It is incredibly easy for us mothers to slide into permanent guilt and anxiety.

    After a few minutes of watching my thoughts, I noticed they ran something like this:

    “My baby is sleeping too much. Should I wake her? Oh no, she hasn’t slept enough and I woke her. I shouldn’t have woken her, I’ve ruined the day. How am I going to fix this? I can’t fix it. I have no idea. I’m a bad mother. She has no routine. I need to put her into a routine. But it’s too late! How will I do this? I should have done it earlier!”

    And so on. Endlessly. Hourly. Daily. It got to the point where I didn’t feel like a caring mother unless I was worrying about something. Then I realized that my anxiety was the only thing that would damage my daughter.

    Babies pick up on all of our emotions. That’s why having a child is a great opportunity to grow as a person. We care so much about our children that we don’t want to lumber them with our old habits and negative emotions. We must move past our pointless worries, but how?

    I have been trying out a few mindfulness techniques and found them to be extremely helpful.

    Prior to this, I was compulsively flicking through endless books by “experts” on sleep, routines, feeding, and general parenting.

    None seemed to be right for the individual needs of my child, so I figured it was time to go within and discover the answers for myself. (more…)

  • 5 Easy Ways to Get into Yoga this Spring

    5 Easy Ways to Get into Yoga this Spring

    “Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

    As we welcomed the Spring Equinox on March 20th, with it came a sense of lightness in the air—in our bodies with healthier food options, in our minds as we flirt with the idea of summer on the horizon, and in our spirits as we are able to enjoy later sunsets with loved ones.

    Spring also welcomes change and renewal, creating an opportunity to cleanse ourselves of hibernating winter habits and find inspiration in nature as wildflowers bloom all around us.

    What better time to introduce (or reintroduce!) yourself to the ancient practice of yoga. Let’s face it: Yoga has stood the test of time, enduring over 5000 years, consistently providing a physical, mental, and spiritual outlet for its practitioners.

    Now more than ever, yoga seems the perfect escape from our increasingly complex, technology-driven, distracted modern lives.

    Finding peace and contentment in the present moment is one of the most challenging things to do, and yoga provides the tools we need to find that much-desired stillness.

    As a yoga instructor, my proudest moment is not when a student who once struggled with Chaturanga perfects a forearm handstand. Well, that is a pretty sweet moment! But, by far, it is watching new students unwrap their first yoga mat. Typically of the drug store, super slippery variety, but still exciting nonetheless!

    This moment resonates with me because I know, in that moment, that yoga will be a part of their world (whether in a big or small way) for the rest of their lives.

    You see, yoga is a lot like chocolate. If you live your whole life never tasting chocolate, you can lead a perfectly content existence, as there is nothing to miss. But, once you have had that first taste, there really is no turning back.

    Sure, you might stray from your cravings as you dabble into non-chocolate permitting diets. But the pleasure induced by that familiar taste always lingers somewhere in the back of your mind, until you finally find your way back home, onto your mat.

    In honor of that joy we all receive from unwrapping our very first yoga mat, I compiled a list of five rather simplistic (and fun!) ways to integrate yoga into your life this spring. (more…)

  • Let Go of Fear by Stopping the Stories in Your Head

    Let Go of Fear by Stopping the Stories in Your Head

    “The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    For a very long time fear has controlled me. It has paralyzed me, kept me living in desperate situations, and stopped me from living the life of my dreams.

    It has only been with age and the practice of mindfulness these last few years that I have come to recognize the fear within me, having finally begun the process of facing it.

    By facing fear, I don’t mean that I’ve started base-jumping, purposely trapped myself in elevators, or allowed tarantulas to climb all over my body.

    I mean that I’ve sat in meditation, watched the fears arise, and rather than react to them or allow them to become part of the stories that make up my life, I’ve observed them in my mind from a distance.

    I’ve felt how they’ve manifested in my body, and I’ve moved into that physical discomfort in order to pay attention to fear in a way I’ve never allowed myself to do before.

    When I think about the compulsive and addictive activities that have kept me stuck in a place of fear in the past, they all come from stories that play through my head everyday. For example:

    Shopping

    I shop to feel better about myself. I believe that the pair of celebrity-endorsed high heels I’ve just bought will make me glamorous enough to fit in with the goddesses I see around me and therefore help me feel accepted.

    Interestingly, I don’t feel bad about myself unless I’m comparing myself to others. Therefore, in the comparing, I’m looking at others who have what I don’t have and as a result, fear that I’m unstylish, lacking in physical appeal, or not beautiful enough.

    Overeating

    When the new pair of high heels I’ve been wearing to work everyday go unnoticed, start to slowly destroy my feet, and still haven’t prompted an invite to the “right” parties, I give up and start to search the fridge.

    I discover a tub of ice-cream or pack of cookies that may not make me more beautiful or accepted, but help me to fill my stomach up and create a fullness in the exact place that fear is beginning to dig a deeper and deeper hole inside of me.

    Television

    When that sick feeling deep down in my stomach starts rising again, but this time from a mix of cookies and cream and a base of fear, I sit in the comfiest chair I can find and reach for the remote control.

    Rather than listen to the personal derision that I’ve switched to repeat in my mind, I watch re-runs of my favorite reality show. I can then cheer the reality star on as I would a friend. Or, I can sit and degrade them to make myself feel better by utilizing the meanest thoughts I have going through my head, now targeted towards them.

    Surfing

    I would love to say that after this fear based self-pity and hatred party I would choose to hit the shore with my trusty long board to work off that ice-cream, but unless that board comes with a qwerty keyboard, I’m more inclined to stay at home.

    Only after watching other people live their busy lives does it actually register that I should reach out and connect with my friends.

    And having destroyed my feet in high heels, eaten an entire quart of ice-cream all by myself, and vegged out in front of the TV in my PJs, I hardly feel like getting dolled up to go out for some face to face time. Therefore, the next best source of connection is my new best friend—the Internet.

    After returning a few pokes, commenting on a couple of friend’s pictures, and then checking my homepage incessantly to see if anyone online has responded to my posts, the night drags on.

    I continually stare at a glowing screen as the minutes tick by, unable to disconnect myself from the cyber world and face the fear of being alone with my self-pity and self-hatred.

    Reality Check Time

    Can you believe that this entire fear-based cycle of self-pity and hatred grew from a simple comparison of what I was wearing to those around me? Unbelievable, right? Not really.

    Having observed my mind, I’ve come to understand that a good amount of my daily fear-based suffering starts by making comparisons and then creating stories in my head.

    Encouragingly, I am not unique in what I do. However, it is unfortunate to realize that many people who suffer in the same way I do will never learn how to curb their own suffering. They will never give themselves the time to sit, reflect, and watch what comes up in their minds without becoming involved in the stories.

    If you would like to take more control over your mind and your suffering, the best practices I know are meditation and mindfulness.

    1. First, accept that in order to become more mindful, we must recognize that we are solely responsible for what we do with the thoughts our minds produce.

    While we can’t stop our minds completely, we can take control over them and create moments of peace for ourselves.

    2. Second, when thoughts or fear arise, try to do the following as soon as you are aware of what’s taking place in your mind and body:

    • Stop.
    • Take a long, deep breath in and out. In your mind say “in” as you breathe in and “out” as you breathe out in order to ground yourself in the present moment.
    • Then, feel the ground beneath your feet. Notice the way your clothes feel against your skin, the wind against your face, the sun on your cheeks. Listen to the birds singing, the rain falling around you, or the ticking of a nearby clock.

    All this will ground you in the present moment. Even if thoughts want to drag you away with them, coming back to recognize the breath will give you the control you need to prevent this from happening.

    Follow these steps until you feel that the thought or storyline in your mind has moved on, or until you feel that the pull of your thought or fear has dissipated slightly.

    At this point, you can return to whatever you were doing, and hopefully you will have prevented yourself from suffering in that moment.

    Unfortunately, these steps are by no means a quick fix in saving you from the suffering we all encounter every day. In fact, at first it will take all your energy and resolve not to react to what your mind and ego are doing.

    It’s also quite possible that even once you’ve covered these steps, you will still get lost in your thoughts and fears by comparing yourself to others.

    Whether you do this or not isn’t the point. The point is that you’ve finally managed to sit back and look at your thoughts and fear. Once you have done this, you’ve begun the process of taking back control of your mind and your life.

    No doubt, occasionally you’ll also stop and find yourself right in the middle of buying something you don’t really need or switching on the TV without thinking about what you’re doing.

    But, as long as you notice you’re mid-way through handing your credit card to the lovely sales person at the cash register, then you’re on your way to conquering your mind.

    The more you practice, the better you will get. The key to all this is not giving up.

    I’m not saying you’ll be able to climb to the top of the Burj Al Khalifa on your next trip to Dubai or take a shower with eight beady spider eyes hanging out on the shower head above you.

    But you will be able to stop the stories in your head instead of feeling a pull to distract yourself from all the pain they cause you.

    So why not give it a shot. Can it really hurt? Well it might, but it’ll hurt for all the right reasons.

  • 8 Ways to Make Meditation Easy and Fun

    8 Ways to Make Meditation Easy and Fun

    “The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~Robert M. Pirsig

    I know meditation is good for me. I know it can do wonders for my mind, body, and spirit. I deeply desire having a daily meditation practice. Yet I can go months without meditating. I’ll think randomly, “I should really meditate sometime,” but when it comes down to it, I don’t.

    My thing is this: I know meditating is good for me, and yet I don’t do it. I suspect I’m not the only one who feels this way.

    I’ve read countless books on how to meditate. I have gone to so many meditation retreats and classes it’s not funny.

    I know the meditation routines. I know the old staring at a candle flame one. I know the stilling your mind thing. I know the nose-breathing-in-and-out thing. I know about making your own visualization.

    I also know that they feel like work. They feel like something I have to work at. It feels hard.

    I know I’m not lazy. If you’re like me, I know you’re not, either. It’s just that we haven’t found the right way of meditating for us yet.

    Here are some ways to make meditation less of a chore and more like a fun, doable thing for you. (more…)

  • 5 Expressions for Mindful Living

    5 Expressions for Mindful Living

    Meditation Silhouette

    “When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.” ~Buddha

    It’s sometimes difficult to give the principles we wish to uphold practical expression in our lives. That’s because we don’t know what they truly look like in the real world.

    A good way to overcome this obstacle is to incorporate mindful expressions into your daily vocabulary. This will help you become aware of your principles and apply them to everyday challenges.

    I find the following five expressions extremely valuable in adding more meaning and mindfulness into my life, and I hope they will have a similar effect on yours.

    1. “I don’t know.”

    Contrary to popular belief, being “enlightened” doesn’t mean that you know everything there is to know about the world, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you pretend to know everything.

    Ignorance isn’t a weakness. It’s a fact of life.

    Choosing to ignore your ignorance will only add to your ignorance, as it will prevent you from embracing learning opportunities.

    We can feel shy to admit that we don’t know, especially when everyone else seems to know. But pretending to know only masks the fact that we don’t.

    Enlightened living isn’t about pretending; it’s about accepting reality.

    If we don’t know then we don’t know, and there’s no use in hiding this fact.

    When it comes to learning, it’s essential that we focus on the “half empty” portion of the cup so we can develop the desire to take in more knowledge rather than feeling satisfied with what we already know.

    You may even want to consider the cup as being completely empty so that you can see a subject with fresh eyes, without basing your opinions on your existing assumptions.

    That way you become more open to accepting a radically new outlook, without resisting it because it’s wrong, based on your current views. (more…)

  • Blind with Full Sight: On Living in the Moment

    Blind with Full Sight: On Living in the Moment

    “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

    As a fairly recent grad student at the time, it was painful when I had to pay for things that were out of my control.

    While in Tahoe one weekend, I found my parked car without a right side view mirror. Someone had knocked it off! It was an important mirror—the one that assisted you with seeing a reasonable amount of blind spots.

    I knew it would be extra difficult for me to switch lanes and park my car without it. I was silently bummed out because it was costly to get it fixed and to be without the mirror.

    But that mirror wasn’t what I needed to see blind spots. It was in the process of witnessing a blind man fully present in the moment that I was able to clearly see the wonders of life.

    Scott is the name of a normal guy who just happened to be blind. He’s a jolly looking thirty-five-year old guy who likes to tell jokes. I couldn’t remember them because I’m just not good with remembering jokes, but I laughed when he told them.

    When we talked in the car, he kept checking his phone, which bothered me. I like to have a person’s full attention when I’m with them. I learned that he was checking the scores for some game. I laughed after realizing that he was just like tons of guys I know.

    Scott wanted to get into working for the court as a profession. His plan was to be the person who typed up what others said in court. But he ended up taking the wrong classes in school and became a paralegal.

    As someone in the psychology profession, I think he believed in himself and knew he could do more than just taking notes. (more…)

  • In Pursuit of Peace: Why It’s Hard to Find Serenity

    In Pursuit of Peace: Why It’s Hard to Find Serenity

    “The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~Robert Pirsig

    The other evening I was I was lying in the bath following yet another hectic day in the office. As I sat there in the bubbles, I could feel my tension rising. I tried my hardest to block out the banging of the washing machine in the next room and the great stomping footsteps from the flat above.

    All of a sudden, this peaceful treat was starting to feel more like a battle of wills—me against the world.

    This made me think: how far do we have to go in the pursuit of peace?

    There’s no denying the fact that we live in an amazing age. We’ve seen unprecedented change in our lifetime and technological developments our grandparents could never have even dreamed of.

    I can share pictures with my emigrated best friend instantly. I can manage my work emails from the park. I can even ‘poke’ my old travelling buddies on a different continent. We truly are lucky, aren’t we?

    Do you ever find yourself wondering why, when we have all this technology that is supposed to help us to do everything quicker, we’ve never felt so busy, frantic, and shortchanged? Or why we feel like shouting Stop the world—I need to get off!? I certainly do. (more…)

  • On Planning Less: How to Let Go & Enjoy the Ride

    On Planning Less: How to Let Go & Enjoy the Ride

    “Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~Osho

    As I drove home today, I embarked on a familiar exercise: planning out, in ridiculous detail, the next week, month, and year of my life.

    To be clear, I’m not suggesting that planning is bad. In my world, a complete lack of planning would be anarchy. And anarchy equals anxiety. So I try to avoid it—both the anarchy and the anxiety.

    But, historically speaking, I plan to a fault. You could say I live the classic cart-before-the-horse existence. In fact, in my world, the cart comes before the horse has even been born. Or conceived.

    I think of a neat product to create, then spend (read: waste) days mentally planning which boutique in NYC would be best to approach first, before I’ve even figured out if I can afford the supplies (or safely use them).

    I find myself drawn in by late-night Zumba infomercials and spend the next several hours envisioning myself completing the workouts daily for six months, finally emerging from underneath the burden of the “workout so fun it’s not even like working out” perfectly toned, ready to ride my surf board (the one I don’t yet own) on the shores of Maui, Cameron Diaz-style.

    Did I mention that I don’t like cardio? You’d glean this if you saw the thirty-two Zumba-like DVDs that already grace the mantel of my family room. Unopened.

    Almost every Saturday, I wake up and declare my intention to stay in pajamas all day, to lie around and simply be lazy. And then by 11:07AM I’m bored to pieces and excitedly headed to Barnes & Noble (while remembering my vow not to get out of PJs).

    So today, as I drove home while unconsciously plotting how I’d like to spend every hour of every day of the next week, month, and year, a song called “Going Whichever Way the Wind Blows” by Pete Droge came on the radio. The lyrics, which repeat over and over at points, advise: (more…)

  • 5 Lessons about Being Present: Freedom is Where My Feet Are

    5 Lessons about Being Present: Freedom is Where My Feet Are

    Enjoying life

    “Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” ~James Thurber

    As I begin each day, I must remind myself, “Erin, stay where your feet are.”

    If I keep my attention on the place where my feet reside, I have a better chance of remaining in the here and now. What’s here and now is all there is, so we’re told.

    Most of us know this in our heads, but integrating it into our daily living is another thing. It’s a practice, one that must remain a part of our awareness if we hope to be released from suffering.

    Sometimes when I am running, my head replays old movies—only they’re the movies of my past or the movies I am creating in my mind about the future.

    All too often I notice myself feeling beaten up by my thoughts, because I remember things I’ve said that hurt people or embarrassed me. Sometimes I’m replaying movies of the things an ex-boyfriend or lover said to me, and I either begin to miss him painfully or feel incredibly humiliated for being so stupid to fall for his words.

    “If only I had done things differently” becomes the soundtrack to the movies in my head. When I’m driving, I’ve become aware of the way I take the early stages of a relationship and progress them into the future, deciding how things will turn out in one year or ten years from that particular moment.

    Or maybe I’m having a conversation with a client who isn’t even there, about how angry I am that they don’t pay me on time or respond to my emails about their invoice. All these thoughts are filled with judgment, and by living in them over and over again, I continue to attract more of them.

    This way of thinking takes me away from my present experience.

    When I live in the past or future, I miss out on the freedom and peace in the now.

    Lately, I am becoming aware much sooner and quicker when this happens. (more…)

  • Mindfulness Giveaway: Win Awake at the Wheel Mindful Driving CDs

    Mindfulness Giveaway: Win Awake at the Wheel Mindful Driving CDs

    Open Road

    Update: This winners for this giveaway have already been chosen.Subscribe to the Tiny Buddha List to learn about future contests!

    When I was twenty-one years old, I got into a series of car accidents just after getting my license.

    The first time, I drove the wrong way down a one-way street. The second time I side-swiped a double-parked car trying to get around it. And the third time, I hit a Channel 7 news van while looking at printed directions in the middle of Big Dig construction madness (not my proudest moment).

    In all of those instances, I was lost and harried, and because I was feeling agitated and not fully paying attention to the road, I became a danger to myself and everyone around me.

    Luckily, I didn’t hurt anyone through my recklessness, but others aren’t so lucky. According to the Department of Transportation, distracted drivers kill approximately 6,000 people and injure over a half-million annually.

    I rarely drive these days because I work from home, but often when I’m walking in my neighborhood, I notice drivers who remind me of my younger self.

    Some of them are looking at GPS systems on their phones. Others are balancing their cells on their shoulders, while putting on lipstick or trying to scarf down fries that appear to be lodged deep down in a greasy bag.

    Then there are the texters—some who hold their phone up high as to only partially take their eyes from the road, and others who seem oblivious to the risks of completely shifting their glance to their laps.

    And then there’s another breed of distracted driver: the ones who are looking straight at the road or even right into your eyes but appear completely vacant. It’s like they’re there but not—engaged in a twenty-minute commute or even a twenty-hour road trip, and yet completely disconnected from the experience. (more…)