Posts tagged with “Love”
Why Judging People Hurt Me and 5 Things That Helped Me Stop
āItās very easy to judge. Itās much more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods.ā ~Doe Zantamata
In the past, judgments kept me safe. They reassured me that I had worth. That I was right. That I was good. I believed I knew the ārightā way to live.
I felt I could clearly see the truth of matters. I didnāt understand why others werenāt always able to grasp the truth that I saw. However, the real truth was that my inner world was full of turmoil.
Since adolescence, …
Why We Donāt See Other People Clearly and How to Start
āIf I had the chance Iād ask the world to dance, but Iād be dancing with myself.ā ~Billy idol
Spending long periods of time aloneāas Iāve done while traveling solo over the past yearāis an eye-opening experience.
Without the distractions of my normal routine and relationships, Iāve been able to take a good look around inside my very own head. And the more I do this, the more I realize that what I experience as my world is just a reflection of my own psyche. In reality, Iām dancing with myself all the time.
This crucial awareness is usually hidden …
A Simple, Super Effective Shortcut to Loving and Respecting Yourself
āLove is loving things that sometimes you donāt like.ā ~Ajahn Brahm
Youāve probably heard the saying āYou canāt find love until you learn to love yourself.ā What this really means is that when you love yourself, youāre also fully able to accept anotherās love for you because you know that you deserve it.
Unfortunately, some people misunderstand this saying to mean that youāre basically not worthy of love unless you love yourself. And thatās a load of toxic rubbish.
If it were true, any number of people with trauma or certain mental illnesses would never stand a chance of finding …
Why Weāre Afraid of Real Connection and Why We Need Deeper Conversations Now
āItās one of the great paradoxes of the human conditionāwe ask some variation of the question ‘How are you feeling?’ over and over, which would lead one to assume that we attach some importance to it.Ā And yet we never expect or desireāor provideāan honest answer.ā ~Mark Brackett, Ph.D.,Ā Permission to Feel
I used to feel so satisfied if I had made them cry.
Not in a twisted, sadistic way.
I just knew once things went quiet and they felt safe, we could peel back enough layers, the tears would flow, and we could finally get to the truth. The …
How I Healed My Low Self-Worth After Infidelity and Divorce
āItās okay to let go of those who couldnāt love you. Those who didnāt know how to. Those who failed to even try. Itās okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. Youāre outgrowing them because youāre growing into you. And thatās more than okay, thatās something to celebrate.ā ~Angelica Moone
Once upon a time, I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams. He was the most romantic, loving, amazing person I had ever met and for some reason, he wanted to be with me.
I was …
How Iāve Stopped Attracting One-Sided Relationships That Leave Me Feeling Empty
“Curiosity will save your soul.” ~Danielle LaPorte
When I was a young girl, about age five, my mother volunteered weekly at a nursing home. Because she was a stay-at-home mom, I was required to tag along with her.
While she would wheel all the residents into the front room and sing prayers and read devotionals, I simply couldnāt sit still for 2.5 seconds. I was a busy girl with an agenda. I had people to see and things to do.
Weekly, I would pop in and out of residents’ rooms while my mom banged on the piano down the hall. …
All It Takes Is One Person to Start a Chain Reaction of Caring and Kindness
āPeople will never know how far a little kindness can go. You just may start a chain reaction.ā ~Rachel Joy Scott
One afternoon a while back, after stepping onboard to a full train car with no available seats, I situated myself in the standing section.
A couple of stops later, two passengers vacated their seats, allowing me the chance to sit. I embraced the opportunity to people-watch.Ā The woman in front of me began chapter four of her book, titled How to Jump for Your Life. The girl next to her alternated between the Tinder app and …
How a Highly Sensitive Person Can Get Over a Breakup And Move On
āA shoutout to everyone who is trying right nowā¦ Trying to do the right thing. Trying to stay open. Trying to keep going. Trying to hold on. Trying to let go. Trying to find their flow. Trying to stay afloat. Trying to meet each new day. Trying to find their balance. Trying to love themselves. Trying new things and new ways. I see you. Iām there too. Weāre in this together.ā ~S.C. Lourie
Breakups are devastating, and the pain is real. But if youāre a highly sensitive person (HSP), it can take an extreme toll on your system because HSPs …
How to Overcome Ultra-Independence and Receive Love and Support
“Ultra independence is a coping mechanism we develop when we’ve learned it’s not safe to trust love or when we are terrified to lose ourselves in another. We aren’t meant to go it alone. We are wounded in relationship and we heal in relationship.” ~Rising Woman
Do you feel like you have to do everything on your own?
Is it difficult for you to ask for and receive help in fear of being let down?
Have you ever heard the expression āUltra-independence may be a trauma responseā?
If this is you, I get it; that was me too.
Please know …
5 Simple Ways to Overcome Your Mind’s Constant Judgments
“Itās easy to judge. Itās more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow.” ~Doe Zantamata
If you donāt live in a cave, you have probably noticed two things. First, there are a lot of annoying, incompetent, stupid, and very difficult folks living in this world. Second, assuming you agree with my previous sentence, you have a very judgmental mind.
For better or worse, youāre not alone. A hundred thousand years ago, the ability to judge people quickly helped our species …
Healing After Heartbreak: How to Turn Your Pain into Your Greatest Superpower
āBlessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.ā ~Spike Milligan
Ever since I was a little girl, Disney films, story books, family, and friends unconsciously conditioned me to believe that the definition of happiness was a knight in shining armor galloping into my life to rescue me, sweeping me away, soothing all my problems as we ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
However, itās fair to say, that fairytale didnāt play out how Iād expected in real life. Nor does it for most, if any of us.
For much of my teenage years, I …
Scared of Losing People You Love? How to Work through the Fear
āPeople are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.ā ~Joseph F. Newton
āOh my God, Momā¦ā she said with a verbal eye roll.
āWhat?ā I responded, sure that I had said too much or overshared like I normally do.
I canāt recall what my daughter and I were discussing openly about while standing in line at the grocery store checkout, but I do remember the girl ringing us up laughing and saying we sounded just like her and her mom.
I paused, unsure what that meant.
āIs this what a healthy mother/daughter relationship sounds like?ā I questioned to myself. …
Put Down Your Phone: Why Presence Is the Best Gift Youāll Ever Give
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
The only thing worse than not listening to someone is pretending to listen.
Giving the vague murmur of agreement, or a quick nod to communicate āYes, I’m listening, totally,ā when really, we’re not.
I remember vividly a dinner I had with friends about four years ago. I’d been backpacking in New Zealand for twelve months and had just returned to the UK. Traveling in the car to my friend’s house, I imagined how the night …
HumanKind: A Feel-Good Book That Can Lift Your Spirits & Change the World
Weāre approaching that time again, āthe most wonderful time of the year,ā they say.
Some love the holidays because they appreciate the comfort of traditionāthe regalia, the reunions, the rituals.
Others delight in the nostalgia of holidays past, when all was calm and all was bright, even if just for a day.
As for me, I love the spirit of giving and the way the season often brings out the best in people.
Itās the seat given to someone with an armful of bags, the donation offered to someone with a head full of worries, or forgiveness extended to someone …
When Itās Time to Stop Helping Others and Help Ourselves
“Do your best and be okay with that.” ~Ursula Wharton
Late one evening I was doing some work at the last minute when my phone buzzed with a text from Alex, my neighbor’s boyfriend. He said he was rushing over and then I saw, “Chris is trying to kill herself. You gotta get in there and stop her.”
I felt sick to my stomach. I stood up too fast from my chair and dropped my phone onto the ugly grey carpet beneath my bare feet. I rushed to Chris’s apartment, which was right next to mine.
Thankfully, the door was …
Why I Felt Broken and Unworthy of Love and What Changed Everything
āHow people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.ā ~Paulo Coelho
He used to tell me no one else would love me because Iām damaged goods.
And I believed him.
Because I received messages for most of my life that there was something wrong with me.
I wasnāt good enough. Too sensitive. Too weak. Too sickly. Too different.
I realize now those messages were passed on to me by concerned parents who saw in me parts of themselves they didnāt fully accept.
And those messages were from parents whose own parents had used criticism …
The You Matter Marathon: A Simple, FREE Way to Change Someoneās Life (No Running Required)
I care. Iām here. Iām sorry. You can.
Two simple words can make a huge difference. They can soothe, heal, connect, and inspire.
Perhaps the two most powerful words in the English language: You matter.
Far too many people donāt believe this is true. Especially since the start of the pandemic, many have felt isolated, purposeless, and some even hopeless, wondering if theyāll ever feel connected and valuable againāif they ever even have.
My new friend Cheryl Rice started this global kindness movement, the You Matter Marathon, for this very reason.
It all began back in 2016 when a …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 