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Posts tagged with “Love”

7 Tips to Help Soothe Your Separation Anxiety

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“A little space, time, and distance can often be just what a relationship needs to bloom at its best.” ~Karen Salmansohn 

If you feel insecure in your relationships, there are many scenarios that can activate your anxious attachment; however, there is one trigger that can throw you abruptly into a state of despair and sheer panic.

That is the experience or threat of separation from the person you are currently attached to.

That lingering uncertainty when you don’t know when you will see your love interest next, when your partner tells you they have booked a weekend away, or …

Make Them Go Through Love

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10 Signs You’re in a Toxic, Unhealthy Relationship and How to Help Yourself

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“Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly
the lover alone possesses his gift of love.” ~Toni Morrison

Not all relationships are created equal. Some rage in like a storm and leave you far weaker than you were before. As you try to process the wreck that is now your reality, you wonder, how did I end up here?

I found myself in a toxic and addicting relationship in my mid-late twenties. Now that some time has passed and allowed for reflection, I want to pass on some signs …

How My Narcissist Ex Was a Catalyst to My Healing and Self-Love

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“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you. And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.” ~Angelica Moone

I thought I had married the love of my life. I had never felt a connection so strong before. I was sure he was my soul mate, and I thoroughly believed he was my twin flame—my one and only.

I …

How I Found Peace and Self-Love After a Toxic Relationship

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“Bravery is leaving a toxic relationship and knowing that you deserve better.” ~Unknown

When my marriage ended, it left a huge void that I desperately needed to fill, and quickly.

Along with my divorce came the unbearable feelings of rejection and being unlovable. To avoid these feelings, fill the void, and distract myself, I turned to dating. And it turns out, it was much too soon.

What seemed like a harmless distraction soon became what I needed to feel wanted and loved. This was a way to avoid doing the harder work of learning to love myself instead of needing …

For More Love in Your Relationship, Love Yourself More (5 Tips)

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“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be looking for someone else to fill the void inside you, but no one will ever be able to do it.” ~Lori Deschene

Two years ago, I sat in my basement with tears streaming down my face. I had just found a copy of an old letter I’d written to an old boyfriend years before. In it, I was practically begging for his love, and also complaining and even shaming him for not loving me well.

As I read, I was overcome by three insights, all of which brought up big emotions:

The …

The Joy of Unexpected Kindness and 3 Reasons It’s Hard to Be Kind

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“Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.” ~Howard Zinn 

Have you ever experienced an unexpected act of kindness that completely changed your day?

I have, and I sincerely hope you have too.

Please pause for a moment and try to remember the last time that happened. How were you feeling before? What happened? And how did the act of kindness impact you?

If I look back on my own life, I can find countless moments where the suddenness, the unexpectedness of an act of kindness, shook me awake.

It might sound strange, but this …

The Surprising Lesson I Learned About Why People Leave Us

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“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” ~Lao Tzu

While this Lao Tzu quote may sound familiar, I recently learned there is a second portion of that quote that often gets omitted.

“When the student is truly ready…the teacher will disappear.”

The first part of this quote was a healing anchor for me as I went through what I call a thirteen, or a divine storm.

In one year’s time, I went through a devastating divorce, was robbed, got in two car accidents, and lost a dear friend to a heart attack. I felt like I was watching …

How I Healed from the Trauma of My Father’s Abandonment

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“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

When I was fifteen years old, my dad abandoned my mother, younger sister, and me after a bankruptcy. My mother sat me down at the kitchen table to show me our financial situation scribbled on a yellow legal pad.

Dad left us with six months of unpaid rent. The landlord threatened us with eviction until mom made a deal to pay extra rent …

Living a Meaningful Life: What Will Your Loved Ones Find When You Die?

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“At the end of life, at the end of YOUR life, what essence emerges? What have you filled the world with? In remembering you, what words will others choose?” ~Amy Rosenthal

Most people believe sorting through a loved one’s belongings after death provides closure. For me, it provided an existential crisis.

After glancing at the angry sky in my father’s driveway for what seemed like hours, I mustered up the courage to crack open the door to the kitchen. The eerie silence stopped me in my tracks. Wasn’t he cooking up a storm in this cluttered kitchen just a …

The Unconscious Vows We Make to Ourselves So the World Can’t Hurt Us

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“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” ~Jonathan Safron Foer

Are you aware that we all make unconscious vows early on, and they become our internal blueprint for life? These vows dictate who we can be and are often deeply engrained.

Our vows are attached to a deeper need we’re trying to meet—the need for love, acceptance, safety, connection, and security. They’re not bad or wrong, and neither are we for having them; they come from a smart part of us that’s trying to help us feel safe.

Vows are more than a belief; vows are …

Love and Acceptance

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How to Reclaim Your Joy After the Pandemic: 3 Things That Helped Me

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DISCLAIMER: Though vaccines have allowed many of us to return to more normal activities, the pandemic isn’t over, and it’s still crucial that we all follow the evolving CDC guidelines to keep both ourselves and others safe.

“Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It’s the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.” ~Sharon Draper

It was a rainy, late Sunday afternoon. The sun was already going down, and it was getting dark outside.

“How are you?”

“Oh, good. Nothing special. It’s quiet,” my …

If You’re Afraid to Ask for Help Because You Don’t Trust People

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“Ask for help. Not because you are weak. But because you want to remain strong.” ~Les Brown

I sat in the doctor’s office, waiting—linen gown hanging off me, half exposed—while going through the checklist in my mind of what I needed help with. I felt my breathing go shallow as I mentally sorted through the aches and pains I couldn’t seem to control.

Fierce independence and learning to not rely on others are two of the side effects of my particular trauma wounds, stemming from early childhood neglect and abandonment. During times of heightened stress, my default state is …

Healing from Shame: How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Fundamentally Wrong

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“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

There is a special type of shame that activates within me when I am around some family members. It’s the kind of shame where I am back in my childhood body, feeling utterly wicked for being such a disaster of a human. A terrible child that is worthless, stupid, and perhaps, if I am honest, more than a …

HumanKind: The Inspiring, Uplifting Book We All Need to Read (Giveaway!)

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A while back I shared a quote by an unknown author that reads:

“You know who’s going through a lot right now? Literally everyone. Just be kind.”

It got me thinking about all the struggles we assume other people don’t have—because we’d never guess from the looks of them.

You’d never guess that your confident colleague struggles with PTSD from childhood abuse and neglect.

You’d never guess that your boisterous brother-in-law beats himself up because he doesn’t earn enough to get his family out of debt.

You’d never guess that your collected cousin cries in the bathroom every day because …

4 Simple, Heart-Opening Exercises to Fill You with Joy, Love, and Light

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“Why are you so enchanted by this world, when a mine of gold lies within you?” ~Rumi

Happiness, love, and joy—we spend our lives in search of them. We often look to external things to fulfill our desire to experience them. A relationship, a trip abroad, a career, or maybe that shiny new car. We can spend our lives chasing these desires and believing that once we check everything off our list of life accomplishments, we will experience them all.

But what if I shared with you that all of this—happiness, love, and joy—exists in you right now? That …

7 Lessons That May Help You Find a Fulfilling Long-Term Relationship

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

“You’re not in love with me, you’re in love with the idea of being in love.”

Ouch!

Kate (not her real name) and I had met online before Internet dating websites—let alone apps—were even a thing, and ours was a long-distance relationship.

I was twenty-four, and she was twenty-three.

Initially bonding over our favorite musical artists, we soon found ourselves sharing all kinds of personal stuff with each other—first over AOL Instant Messenger, and then via countless hours on the telephone.

I remember being …

The Chaos of Life After Loss and the Love That Never Dies

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“We need to grieve the ones we’ve lost—not to sustain our connection to suffering, but to sustain our connection to love.” ~Jennifer Williamson

Ken was only forty-seven years old when he met his untimely death.

It was surreal, my brother-in-law was gone from our physical world.

As a family, we felt the motions moving through the initial telephone call summoning us to the hospital to the time we surrounded him as he took his last breath. It was if we were all caught between two worlds, one of cruel reality and one of complete disbelief. You read about it …

Just Because You Love Me…

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