Tiny Buddha

Tag: Love

  • Accepting Blame and Asking for Forgiveness

    Accepting Blame and Asking for Forgiveness

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    “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” ~Kimberly Howard

    As a kid I was quite often “långsur.” Långsur is a Swedish expression for being grumpy for a long time. Every time someone was mean to me, I sulked for hours, even days. This became quite tedious at times, especially since as soon as I became happy again, some new event triggered me to sulk again.

    You get the picture.

    I simply had such a hard time forgiving people.

    It went the other way too. I found it hard to admit that something was my fault. At least out loud. Inside, I blamed myself, but I could not get the “I’m sorry” across my lips.

    As I grew older, I realized no one liked Miss Grumpy and those long days of sulking had to be shortened a wee bit if I wanted to keep some friends, but to be honest, forgiving was still hard. Also, even though I was happy on the surface, many days I was still “långsur” on the inside.

    Guess who suffered the most from this?

    It was not until I had kids that I really got out of this extremely negative mindset.

    All of a sudden, I didn’t have time to sulk. Diapers were to be changed, bottles heated; and sleep—that wonderful thing we all take for granted BK (before kids)—was to be enjoyed, or rather desperately grasped at when there was a moment.

    Not only did I no longer have time to sulk, I also realized that for us parents to mentally survive, we had to be able to communicate quickly, honestly, and rationally. We had to make decisions without hesitations. We made mistakes all the time, but we survived them.

    At this stage, a baby’s life depended on my behavior. It was not just me anymore.

    It was at this time that I realized that you can actually get mad and stop being mad in matter of minutes, as long as you set your mind to it. It was up to me to decide how I wanted to feel inside.

    And, if I did wrong toward another person, there was a liberating sensation in saying I’m sorry and moving on. No dwelling. (more…)

  • 5 Pieces of Advice That Aren’t Cliches

    5 Pieces of Advice That Aren’t Cliches

    Advice

    “It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.” ~Aeschylus

    Earlier this year I got some feedback from the ‘tween magazine I wrote for: “It sounds like good advice, but kids probably won’t do any of that.”

    In my head it all sounded logical but I didn’t consider whether I’d have taken that advice as a kid. Or now, for that matter.

    People do it all the time: look at a situation from a removed, non-emotional place and hurl suggestions that are far easier said than done. And sometimes, just plain unrealistic.

    I’ve listed five of these hard-to-follow, cliché pieces of advice, along with alternative suggestions you may actually be inclined to take. (more…)

  • 50 Ways to Show You Care Without Spending a Dime

    50 Ways to Show You Care Without Spending a Dime

    “Friendship isn’t a big thing. It’s a million little things.” ~Unknown

    This hasn’t been an extravagant holiday season for me. Like everyone and their mother, I lost a lot of income last year and I just don’t have the means to give expensive presents.

    Yet I feel I’ve received a lot of gifts this year. Most notably, I’ve realized how many of the people in my life mean more to me than any of the things I’m trying to accomplish.

    The friends and family members whose love and support far eclipse the achievement of any goals I set. The people who are my home, whether I can afford a pricey apartment or not.

    I’ve come up with fifty ways to show them how much I care within my current means.

    If you’re looking for a few meaningful gifts that don’t require a debit card, you may find these creative ideas helpful this season: (more…)

  • Connecting with Friends: Faster Isn’t Always Better

    Connecting with Friends: Faster Isn’t Always Better

    “When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another and ourselves.” ~Jack Kornfield

    In today’s virtual world, considering regular mail can feel rather absurd. Why would you send a postcard when you can instantly send an email or an e-card conveying your thoughts and good wishes, right?

    But what happened to the charms of opening your mailbox and wondering what lies within? Hasn’t the walk back from the postbox become rather boring with only bills and flyers to expect?

    Though the digital age has done a marvelous job at getting the world closer, it hasn’t been able to incorporate the personal touch that the physical world offers.

    The tummy just doesn’t tingle on an electronic signature saying, “Miss you,” and the joys of hearing from someone are short lived, extending only to the length of the email message itself.

    I myself had forgotten the charms of the snail mail until recently, when I met a young gentleman during my travels across the globe. As we exchanged contact details and said our goodbyes, he managed to startle me as he said, “I’ll write to you.”

    Now being from the twenty-first century and deeply sunken into the virtual world, I found this statement to be rather preposterous.

    “You mean email me,” I said sarcastically.

    I failed to understand why someone would want to write to me through regular mail, since it may take weeks to arrive, when I could possibly be reading the message almost instantaneously.

    Though something in me suddenly cherished the idea of getting physical mail. The simple yet thoughtful words “Hold tight, you should be getting something in the mail soon” made me feel like a child again, impatient and excited about what lies ahead.

    The excitement of figuring out the postman’s timings and running to the mailbox as you see the mail van cross is priceless. The actual present at this moment is irrelevant; it’s the thought that makes all the difference. (more…)