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Posts tagged with “Love”

How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin

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“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them. Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.

As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me. If someone complimented …

Get Connected: How to Expand Your Offline Social Network

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“Strangers are friends you have yet to meet.” ~Unknown

We are living in times of massive change.

Looking at some of the problems we are facing—the crumbling economy, environmental pollution, wars over scarce resources—sometimes the idea of moving far away to a remote mountain top seems very attractive. Or hiding in that small space behind the computer screen. Anything that helps us avoid real life and all its challenges.

But of course, if everybody thought that way, who would actually get up and do something about our situation? And is it enough to receive words of comfort through an email? …

10 Ways to Create a Strong, Intimate Relationship

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“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -~Sam Keen

Before I married my wonderful husband, I dated a lot of men. For most of my 20s (and even my early 30s) I had a perfect fairy-ideal of what romantic love was, probably because I was an actress and loved drama back then.

It took years for me to realize a relationship is not a romance movie.

At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in …

How to Open Yourself to Love When You Didn’t Grow Up with It

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

I was always someone who craved love and attention. This is not to say that I accepted love willingly—quite the opposite, in fact.

If someone decided to like or even love me they would have to pass through a path of obstacles, being pushed, pulled, and tested at every corner. Only then, upon arrival at the finish line, would they gain my acceptance.

As you can imagine, this eliminated a number of potential friends and partners, and I often found myself lonely and disappointed.…

What It Means to Really Take Care of Yourself

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“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmann

Last year I realized that I lived twenty-eight years without knowing what it really means to love and take care of myself.

In 2010, I took some wonderful, worldly trips—Costa Rica, Bangkok, Taipei—trekking and exploring.

My husband and I bought a second home. I fully engaged myself in the improvements and the creativity of decorating a fresh canvas.

I ran several races, including a half-marathon, and finished well. …

4 Ways to Be Kind When You Don’t Feel Like It

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Plato

I used to have a horrible boss.

I worked as a trainer in a big corporation. I can remember him coming into one of my training sessions and telling me off about something in front of my whole group.

He talked to me as if I was five years old and I’d done something terrible. When someone talks to you like that it’s difficult not to start feeling you are five years old and you’ve done something terrible. I wanted to sink into the ground.

He treated other …

Tiny Wisdom: On Fear-Based Decisions

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“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

Sometimes I look at people who appear to be confident, successful, and happy and imagine that they always feel that way—that they never feel insecure or afraid, and they always operate from a place of trusting love.

Then I remember that every person who has a pulse deals with human emotions. What confident, successful, happy people have going for them is that they feel fears, but they make decisions from a place underneath them.

They push through discomfort, fully aware that it’s impermanent, and …

3 Steps to Stop Making Comparisons and Start Valuing Yourself

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

It seems like everywhere I look, I don’t measure up.

I was giving a presentation recently and noticed that several people seemed bored or distracted.  I looked around the room to gauge my audience’s response to something I said and found myself thinking, “Am I good enough?  Am I providing what this group needs?”

Suddenly, I felt sure that another, more talented presenter would have done a better job.

Later, with a friend, casually flipping through old photos, we both lamented that we were younger and …

How to Become a Magnet for Friends: 7 Mindful Tips

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“Always be mindful of the kindness and not the faults of others.” ~Buddha

Would you like to have more friends? I mean true friends—people who laugh and cry with you.

My close friends mean the world to me. They are there for me when I need them. When they’re on a high, I celebrate with them; when they fall, I help them up again. My life is so much richer because of my friends.

But it hasn’t all been an easy ride. For example, one of my best friends is my ex-husband. It took years of work to move through …

5 Ways to Feel More Love and Compassion for Yourself and Others

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“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Lately, I’ve been feeling a sense of vulnerability that I always wished I could feel without being afraid.

I have always wished I was one of those people who could show my authentic self to the world and still be able to look you in the eye after I let you see me, without quivering in shame or regret.

Not too long ago, I shared my feelings with someone who I deeply loved. This was one of the hardest, …

How to Renew Your Relationship Instead of Getting Bored

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“Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.” ~Unknown

We can grow comfortable in our romantic relationships.

In the first six months to a year, it’s all excitement and an adrenaline rush at the mere fantasy of skin touching, but after two years you really do have to work to keep the romance.

Life can get a little routine and formulaic. You do certain things on certain nights of the week, together or apart. The love is still there, but the accelerated heart rate, weak-at-knees sensation, and feeling that your heart might explode with passion have noticeably decreased.

I recently …

How to Love Your Authentic Self

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

In our personal development-focused, life coach-dependent world, it’s all too easy to think you need to change. Not just the things you do, but who you are.

It’s one thing to invite transformation for the sake of growth, improvement, and new possibilities. It’s another thing to feel so dissatisfied with yourself that no amount of change could possibly convince you that you’re worthy and lovable.

This type of intrinsic self-loathing formed the basis of my adolescence and some of my …

Fostering the Right Attitude: Know Who You Are

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“I urge you to try not to get hung up in the mentality that says ‘I hope I don’t lose him (or her),’ but foster the attitude that says ‘He should be appreciative of having me in his life.'”

I read these words in the midst of a downward emotional spiral, and they grounded me almost immediately.

I was fifty-three when I read Marie’s words. I was in the eighth year of my relationship with my husband and realized that I had become a shell of the woman I was when I first met him. Amidst all the compromises I’d …

Staying Friends When You Wanted More

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“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take action. Take action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron

Paul and I had been acquaintances for eight years. When I opened the door to his office one afternoon to offer our usual casual hello, an alchemical change packed a walloping charge through my body.

When had my coworker become a handsome man with whom I suddenly wanted to share more than impersonal cafeteria trays in a crowd?

I’m not sure what flipped the switch for me, but I’d already cheered him when he ran two marathons, listened when his wife …

Feel. Focus. Flow.

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“This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival” ~Rumi

Not more than half an hour ago, I was, in a very typical fashion, struggling and getting frustrated trying to gather my thoughts for this post. I could even feel the tension in my shoulders clawing its way up to my neck (over a blog?).

Even as I took a shower, I was scrubbing the shampoo into my hair so hard because I was in a rush and had so many other thoughts whizzing round in my head! I was well and truly unconscious, going through the …

5 Ways to Create Random Acts of Love

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“Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.” ~Unknown

I recently decided to reverse the order of common sense, and senselessly follow my heart through an unplanned acts of kindness. After I made the choice, it was amazing how the world changed before my very eyes.

No longer was I fixated on how quickly I move through the events of my day. With my new focus, people began to shape shift from task zombies to loving beings.

One situation in particular really humbled me to the true power of random acts of love.

I was riding a train from LA …

Pema Chodron Retreat Giveaway

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Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. Subscribe to the Tiny Buddha List to learn about future contests!

Last week, I received an email from the marketing team at Shambhala Publications informing me about the upcoming “Smile-at-Fear” retreat, to be hosted by Pema Chödrön.

This three-day event, focused on wisdom from Pema’s teacher, Chögyam Trungpa, will take place in Richmond, California from October 15–17. Since Pema rarely hosts events of this nature, it sold out pretty quickly, but there’s still a chance to learn what she has to share.

Shambhala Publishing has decided to bring the retreat …

LOVE Versus Fear

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LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL (fear is conditional)

LOVE IS STRONG (fear is weak)

LOVE RELEASES (fear obligates)

LOVE SURRENDERS (fear binds)

LOVE IS HONEST (fear is deceitful)

LOVE TRUSTS (fear suspects)

LOVE ALLOWS (fear dictates)

LOVE GIVES (fear resists)

LOVE FORGIVES (fear blames)

LOVE IS COMPASSIONATE (fear pities)

On Fearing Change: When It’s Time to Take a Leap of Faith

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“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown

There are two basic human emotions that are the driving force behind each thought, each daily inspiration, and that rare but pivotal new-chapter, life-changing decision. Those things are fear and love.

The funny thing, however, is that they are intertwining forces. In order to feel passionately about something, fear and love must coexist.

One year ago I made what some people would consider an irrational decision. I had a great job, …

Tiny Wisdom: On Love

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“Love is loving things that sometimes you don’t like.” ~Ajahn Brahm

The most challenging part of relationships is learning to accept people for who they are—knowing all their quirks, insecurities, and weaknesses and choosing to simply let them be.

Psychologists suggest that once we form an idea, we develop an emotional attachment that makes it extremely difficult to abandon it. We feel convinced that our way is the right way and feel an imperative to sway other people accordingly, particularly people who are close to us.

The irony is that this tends to push people further away. It’s hard to …