fbpx
Menu

Posts tagged with “Love”

Taking a Chance on Happiness and Knowing We Deserve It

By

“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley

I like to tell the story of how I changed my mind about myself and what I was worthy of and how that change almost immediately led me to my husband—or, rather, how it led him to me. On Craigslist.

But unlike a fairytale, we didn’t go straight from point A (boy meets girl on a sometimes-shady website) to point B (boy marries girl in the church she was baptized and grew up in, …

Simple Ways to Improve Our Relationships, Starting Today

By

“My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with right now.” ~Byron Katie

I never had a good relationship with my father when I was younger.

Sometimes he expressed his opinions in a rude way, sounding more like an attack than advice.

Many times he apologized after being rude, but I was too cold to forgive or listen.

The years passed, and I never made an effort to improve our relationship. It felt easier to deal with my mother. She was the one I always went to when I needed something, had a question, …

Conscious Choices We Need to Make to Attract Healthy Relationships

By

“When you have a choice to make and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.” ~William James

I have been single for most of my life; sometimes it would seem by choice, and sometimes not. In that time, I have learned and experienced a lot. Some of the things I had thought I wanted changed, and some of the things I thought I didn’t want have become things I do.

Over the years I have tried various forms of meeting people, including the “bar method,” online dating, and approaching random strangers in public places. It’s not that I …

We Need to Give People the Freedom to Choose What’s Right for Them

By

“You must love in such a way that the other person feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I’ve read a lot of articles about loving without attachment and respecting other people’s choices, but it wasn’t until one day that I truly got it. And I will tell you what happened to me that day.

My boss and I have a very special relationship. He’s the boss everyone would want to have. He appreciates me for my work and for everything I do. He thinks that I’m a great kid. Every time he has the chance, he praises my results and he …

How to De-Stress Dating and Stop Tying Your Worth to Relationships

By

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.

If you’ve hit your head against the wall as many times as I have, you know how frustrating, depressing, and downright disheartening it can be. Meeting someone new, going on a few great dates, getting excited, having one/both of you sort of stop calling; then repeating the process over and over is enough to make you want to give up for good.

The ups and downs in this cycle can make …

Letting Go of the Lies That Make Us Feel Bad About Ourselves

By

“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” ~Alice Duer Miller

The man who I thought was my soul mate walked out on me fourteen years ago. He immediately remarried a lovely, beautiful woman who was everything I was not.

I am desperate to fall in love. I’m thirty-eight. I want a baby. I want a relationship. I feel alone.

A year ago, I fell unexpectedly in love with my photographer. Yes, star-struck romantics, it was just like the movies. Shy, awkward woman gets pictures taken for her brand-building website, and she is completely unraveled by his boyish …

3 Vital Lessons on Living a Life That Won’t Lead to Regret

By

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brene Brown

Even though I’m a psychologist who has been working in the field of development and assessment for the last thirteen years, sometimes it still takes more than reading a theory in a book, or even seeing something work with a client, to make it real for me.

Here are three of the moments that have had the most impact on me and the way I live my life.

1. Each of us has the power to

…

Reclaim Your Power: Stop Waiting for Other People to Make You Happy

By

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou

My knees hit the pavement, unable to hold me up as I watched my entire life purpose drive away.

I had put my entire heart and soul into that relationship. I had sacrificed everything—my family, my friends, my career, my hobbies. And now I had nothing. What had gone wrong?

I lay there for a while, quite convinced that the pain and unhappiness was going to be the end of me. I wallowed in the misery of it all.

Then something touched my face. I brushed it …

What All Great Relationships Have in Common

By

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years.

And before those ten years, we were college sweethearts and had been dating for over six.

When you know someone for that long, someone whom you are deeply and madly in love with, something funny happens:

Your collective thoughts, actions, and words become so tightly intertwined that you walk around believing you are one person.

As a result, you feel ten times taller. Like you can do anything. …

10 Life-Changing Lessons I Wish I Learned Sooner

By

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” ~Albert Einstein

I recently turned thirty-eight.

Birthdays and new years always make me quite reflective and, for a long time, critical about my achievements—what I’ve done and what I have to show for it.

This time, though, there was finally a wonderful difference.

Over the past twelve months what’s mattered has been about the people I’ve met, the places I’ve seen, the experiences I’ve had, and the things I’ve discovered about myself—none of which have brought me anything physical to show for it.

I’ve learned character building life lessons, the kind …

How Relationship Issues Can Lead to Growth (and Why It’s a Daily Process)

By

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

Relationships are tough. Even more difficult is maintaining healthy boundaries within a relationship.

My head hurts and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Let me explain. I’m in a loving, healthy relationship with a beautiful woman, and I’m proud to call her my partner.

Great, so why do I feel like I want to throw up? Well, because last night was a tough night for us, for me, and today I have …

Change Your Life by Changing Your Mind About Yourself

By

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

I’d had enough.

Once again, I’d sent follow-up emails to guys who had shown interest in my dating site profile. Once again, I’d included full-length photos with those emails, unlike the headshot that went along with my online profile.

And once again, days later, my inbox was a virtual ghost town.

Didn’t these guys know how much courage it took for me to set up a profile in the first place? I was twenty-six years old and been on fewer than a dozen dates in my life—including my …

Stop Attracting Unhealthy Relationships: 3 Promises to Make to Yourself

By

“When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.”  ~Unknown

For years, I was entering relationships with men where I saw their potential to be a good match for me, if only they would completely change who they were.

For twelve years, it was the same pattern until one day I finally realized something was broken.

After my last unsuccessful relationship, where I was just holding on, hoping he would change and be the person I wanted him to be, I had had enough. So, I took a much-needed hiatus to …

6 Lessons from a Brave Little Girl About Living a Love-Filled Life

By

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” ~Sophocles

I can’t believe it was almost four years ago that I met *Holly. Her story is still deeply embedded into my heart. Who would have thought that one can learn so much from a ten-year-old child?

At the time, I was working in Kenya as a children’s rights researcher. Knowing about my psychology background, the principal of a primary school I was working at asked me if I could talk to one of their students. Since I would only be able to meet …

Coping with the Pain of Loneliness After a Breakup

By

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” ~Unknown

I am at a phase in my life right now where I’m struggling with loneliness.

Most of the time, I feel a deep sense of disconnection from the world around me and the people I share it with.

The mere fact that I am writing this in the small hours of the morning, deafened by the ear-splitting silence of an empty flat, unable to sleep, simply emphasizes this point to me even harder.

The empty flat in question is …

Owl You Need Is Love

By

Source

Why Love Addiction Deprives Us of Love, and How to Let It In

By

“What we seek in love is finding someone with whom we feel safe to reveal our true self.” ~Karen Salmansohn

I wasn’t always in a relationship, but I was almost always in love.

I even had crushes in kindergarten. I hated school because my grade school teacher didn’t like me. Maybe my crushes helped me avoid feeling the void, the loneliness, and the sense that I was not of this world, an outcast.

Being in love let me ignore those uncomfortable feelings. Of course, I did not understand any of this at age six. Now I do.

As an …

How to Fall Back in Love With Your Life

By

“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

Ever found yourself in a rut, just waiting for some force of the Universe to pull you out?

When ennui sets in, it can be hard to find a way back into the light, but it typically takes a series of events and choices for us to be living a life out of sync with our personal goals, values, and passions.

Last year, I found myself in one of these ruts. After spinning my wheels for quite some time, …

Love Who You Are

By

Source

Dealing with Depression: 10 Ways to Feel Positive and Peaceful

By

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” ~Christopher Reeve

I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. My experiences have also caused severe post-traumatic stress disorder.

My father has been abandoning me for my whole life. As a teenager, I went to live with him because my relationship with my mother was so difficult. He sexually abused me for the year that I lived with him.

At the age of seventeen, I sought solace by turning to what I thought was God. For the next twenty-eight years I held a set of beliefs that were angry and judgmental …