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Posts tagged with “Love”

No Matter What Life Takes Away, You Still Have Everything You Need

ā€œWhat wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?ā€ ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

On February 21, 2009, I received a phone call that would alter the course of my life. It was my sister, and I could barely make out what she was saying. My mom was in the hospital and had received a diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer.

My body absorbed the news before my brain did. Since I had lost my ability to reason, from someplace beyond me I found a way to keep functioning. I asked my sister to put my mom on the phone.

What could I …

8 Tips So You Don’t Lose Yourself In Your Next Relationship

“Never lose yourself in a relationship. Love your partner fiercely, but always follow your unique dreams and desires. Be true to yourself.” ~Unknown

All my previous relationships drained me.

Not only because I was with the wrong men and kept trying to make things work where there was no way, but also because I was a queen of justifying, accommodating, and compromising.

I accommodated men because I wanted to be liked and avoid rejection.

I justified their lousy behavior because I wanted to be in a relationship and not be alone.

I compromised on my values and romantic ideals just …

If We Could Spread Love as Quickly as We Spread Hate and Negativity…

Love More, Judge Less

Maybe This Is What Happiness Is

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done and he did it.

—Edgar Guest

I’ve always believed in the adage ā€œactions speak louder than words.ā€ I’ve never been one to seek guidance from commercial catch phrases, trending tweets, or song lyrics. But Guest’s poem did make me smile. Whether it was the playfulness of the verse or just the simplicity of the message, it spoke volumes to me.

Easy, right? Well, maybe for Edgar, but not so much …

The Most Compassionate Words and How They Heal

ā€œLove and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.ā€ ~Dalai Lama.

It wasn’t until my mother died that I was able to feel her love and have that mother-daughter relationship that I’d been craving all my life. It was not until she died that I was able to learn, and truly feel, compassion—for her and for me.

I’ve always known that compassion for others is a nice thing. We all know that. But it wasn’t until I truly felt it that I was able to create a deep sense of healing.

My mum and I always had …

Everything Can Change in the Blink of an Eye

Only the Love in Your Heart Will Last Forever

A Different Kind of More: The Beauty of Living with Less Stuff

She was all that mattered. I was deeper in debt, legal fees, and uncertainty than ever before, but I held on tight to my vow to give her more.

I would give her everything. I’d work harder, make more, buy her more, take her to see more, do more, and prove to her that everything would be okay. I had no idea that this new goal would be just as damaging, and just as hard on my heart.

My desire to give my daughter more wasn’t wrong, just misguided. While I could never have articulated it then, I did want …

Love Yourself First

7 Self-Love Practices That Helped Me Heal from a Devastating Divorce

ā€œUnlike self-criticism, which asks if you’re good enough, self-compassion asks what’s good for you?ā€ ~Kristin Neff

My husband and family were my world. Although I’d found joy in my passion of writing, my heart revolved around my marriage. I thought we were happy. Then one day, he dropped the bomb: ā€œI don’t love you anymore.ā€

Two weeks later, I found out he’d fallen in love with another woman who lived across the world. He didn’t want me anymore.

Sure, I’d known for a while something was wrong—that knowing deep in your gut that you can’t put your finger on, …

How to Stop Feeling Lonely and Escape the Emotional Eating Cycle

“When you no longer believe that eating will save your life when you feel exhausted or overwhelmed or lonely, you will stop. When you believe in yourself more than you believe in food, you will stop using food as if it were your only chance at not falling apart.ā€ ~Geneen Roth

I used to eat because I was lonely.

Lunch hour at school would last nine billion years. I’d have no one to sit with—I was spotty and mega bossy, and my hobby was copying pages from anthropology books.

Everyone would put a sweater on the chair next to them, …

The Antidote to Shame: I Know I Am Enough

ā€œYou alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.ā€Ā ~Maya Angelou

I grew up with a father who was an addict. When I was fourteen my dad hit rock bottom andĀ lostĀ a job with aĀ six-figure salary, my parents separated, my dad went to rehab for alcoholism and sex addiction, and I learned my dad had been cheating on my mom.

My dad’s immense shame for his actions led to himĀ being on suicideĀ watch in theĀ rehab hospital where he was staying.Ā Even though I knew the word ā€œshameā€ at the age of fourteen, I was …

Try Not to Confuse Attachment with Love

Be Good to Yourself: 10 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love

ā€œSelf-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ā€˜self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.ā€ ~Unknown

It was one of those nights.

I was in a busy New York bar, having fun and enjoying myself. That was, until someone asked me: ā€œSo, what do you do?ā€

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing! I had just left my corporate job and now I was on a journey to …

Why I’ve Upgraded to a Drama-Free Relationship

ā€œLove is not what you say. Love is what you do.ā€ ~Unknown

I used to think that true love should be passionate and intense. When someone broke up with me or treated me poorly, I’d imagine that he really didn’t mean it. Surely he was really a good person and truly loved me, but was just ā€œgoing through somethingā€ or ā€œneeded space.ā€ Eventually he’d be back with tears, apologies, and flowers.

I’d like to say I outgrew this tendency by the age of, well, maybe forty, but the fact is I didn’t.

Instead, I carried a torch for a recently …

Radical Acceptance with Tara Brach: If You’re Hard on Yourself, Read On

Have you ever thought, ā€œSomething’s wrong with meā€? I suspect we all have at one time or another.

We’ve thought we’re too quiet, too loud, too eager, too lazy, too sensitive, too dramatic, or generally not good enough.

And social media doesn’t help much. Every time we log on to Facebook or Instagram we’re bombarded with everyone else’s accomplishments, adventures, and best angles, which can easily lead us to conclude our life is somehow lacking—that we are somehow lacking.

From there, it’s just a quick leap to self-flagellation.

We can all be our own harshest critics. We can beat ourselves …

The Only Thing That Matters Is How Much You Love

4 Things a Wise Man Taught Me About Making the Most of This Short Life

“The goal is to die with memories, not dreams.” ~Unknown

As we stood holding hands under that great oak tree, I had never felt more surrounded by love. It was simultaneously the most wonderful and haziest moment of my whole life as we said, ā€œI do.ā€

It had really happened. I had married my best friend.

We made the decision to bring our wedding forward a year after my husband’s dad, Ian, had been diagnosed with cancer. In nine months we had planned and executed our perfect wedding day. And he was there.

We drank and sang and danced the …

When a Wrong Can’t Be Righted: How to Deal With Regret

ā€œRegret can be your worst enemy or your best friend. You get to decide which.ā€ ~Martha Beck

I was lucky enough to grow up with a pretty great mom.

She put herself through nursing school as a single parent, still made it to every field trip and dance recital, and somehow always made my brother and me feel like the best thing since sliced bread (even when we were acting like moldy and ungrateful fruitcakes).

She knew our deepest secrets, our friends, and who we were capable of being—even when we didn’t know ourselves. As I grew older my mom …