Posts tagged with “kindness”
Why People Are Rude and Unkind (and Why Itās Not About You)
āHow people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.ā ~Paulo Coelho
By nature, I am a happy, optimistic, idealistic person. I have always been one to look on the bright side and see the good in people. My usual philosophy in life is that the world is full of brightness, love, and possibilities to seize.
Recently, though, my philosophy began to fade in the face of a mild depression.
I began to cry a lot and retreat into myself rather than being social and opening up, which only furthered the problem. I felt …
The Only Way to Form Meaningful Relationships with People Who Get You
āA friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” ~Jim Morrison
When I left my full-time position at an ad agency and ventured out on my own, I had a clear goal in mindāto connect with likeminded people who align with my highest good. As far as how I was going to do that, I had little clue.
My life was full of relationships built from forced, sometimes toxic circumstances where we found each other out of need or convenience. I am grateful for each of those people because they were there when I needed them most, …
Why āFind Your Purposeā is Bad Advice and What to Do Instead
āThe meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.ā ~Pablo Picasso
I was fifty-two when I found my purpose. I wasnāt even looking. It literally just smacked me upside the head. Thatās a funny thing about life. It throws things your way, and you either grab them and run with them or you turn a blind eye and walk on by.
I used to turn a blind eye. I donāt anymore. These days Iām taking in all that life tosses my way. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
How
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I Was Addicted to Helping People ā Hereās Why It Made Me Miserable
āAs you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.ā ~Maya Angelou
Growing up in Africa, I was told that the virtue and worth of a woman lies in her ability to take care of everyone around her; that a woman was considered good or worthy when everyone around her was happy and pleased with her. I took this advice to heart, especially since I watched my mother meet this standard to a T. Putting everyone else, including strangers, above herself.
Most of the Things We Learn as Kids
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Where Our Strength Comes from and What It Means to Be Strong
āStrength doesnāt come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldnāt.ā ~Rikki Rogers
A friend recently asked me: Andi, where does your strength come from?
It took me a while before I had a good enough answer for her. I sat contemplating the many roads I’ve traveled, through my own transformational journey and the inspirational journeys of all my clients who demonstrate incredible strength for me.
I moved to a different country, alone, at eighteen years old and have changed careers, battled a complex pain diagnosis with my child, and lost loved ones…
How I Stopped Dismissing Praise and Started Believing Compliments
āIāve met people who are embattled and dismissive, but when you get to know them, you find that theyāre vulnerableāthat hauteur or standoffishness is because theyāre pedaling furiously underneath.ā ~Matthew Macfadyen
It was impossible to miss the dismissive hand gesture and distasteful look on her face in response to my comment.
āYou ooze empathy,ā I had said in all sincerity to my therapist.
āAnd whatās it like if I blow off or disregard that compliment?ā she countered. Then, as usual, she waited.
āAh, it feels terrible,ā I sputtered as the lights of insight began to flicker. I was acutely …
The Signs of a Strong Friendship (and an Unhealthy One)
āLots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.ā ~Oprah Winfrey
“How on earth am I supposed to survive? I have no friends whatsoever!”
These were the thoughts that ran through my mind then when I first set foot in London five years ago. I felt raw and vulnerable in the beautiful new city that I had to make my new home, alone, with my two kids, while my husband was overseas. I wondered how I was supposed to do …
How to Motivate Yourself with Kindness Instead of Criticism
āI don’t always make the best choices, but today I choose compassion over intolerance, sympathy over hatred, and love over fear.āĀ ~LJ Vanier
Itās crazy to me now, to look back and realize how freaking hard I was on myself for decades.
Had I ever talked to anyone else the way I talked to myself, it would surely have left me friendless and jobless, and I definitely would have been kicked out of school.
Basically, I was a bully. Just to myself.
If I said something awkward, I called myself an idiot.
When I couldnāt find the motivation to …
How to Make Someone Smile: 10 Mindful Acts of Kindness
“The greatest gifts you can give someone are your time, your love, and your attention.” ~Unknown
The other day I saw this phrase on social media: āSpread kindness, not COVID-19.ā And I started thinking about how kindness is contagious, which reminded me of a viral video Iāve always loved:
A skateboarding kid falls, and a construction worker helps him up. The kid then sees an elderly woman struggling with grocery bags and helps her carry them across the street. That woman then gives coins to a woman at a parking meter whoās rifling through her purse. And on and on …
6 Simple Acts to Make the World a Better Place
“The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” ~William James
I’ll never forget the call.
It was 1989 and, like most college students, I spent winter break in Florida looking for some sun. Stepping off the airplane and being greeted by a burst of warm air was the best. As I entered the terminal, I had the added benefit of being greeted by my maternal grandparents, who lived in North Miami Beach.
Lounging at the pool, going on walks with them, or eating out, the experience was a wonderful way to decompress after …
Book Giveaway, HumanKind: You’ll Laugh, You’ll Cry (Really!)
UPDATE: Brad has generously decided to give away seven books instead of five. If your name is listed below, please contact me at email(AT)tinybuddha(DOT)com with your address so I can share it with him! The winners are:
As I write this, Iām having one of those days. I feel so agitated itās like thereās a tornado under my skin, yet so drained it took me five minutes to get my fingers to start typing words.
Iām guessing Iām not alone in feeling a lot of intense emotions …
HumanKind: A Book That Will Inspire You and Help Change the World
I have always believed that kindness is the truest measure of beauty. And I need only think of my grandmother to confirm that this is true. Giving, nurturing, understandingāshe was all these things till the day she died, undeniably radiant, at the age of eighty-four. She smiled with her eyes and loved out loud, and thatās who I want to be.
If youāre fortunate, youāre close to someone like this, a person who exudes warmth and meets you with gentleness and compassion, even when youāre not at your best.
If youāre observant, youāll see people from all walks of life …
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