Posts tagged with “healing”

How I Healed My Mother Wound and My Daughters Are Healing Theirs
âYour children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Lifeâs longing for itself⊠You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrowâŠâ ~Kahlil Gibran
Now that my daughters are in therapy trying to heal their relationship with me, I have more compassion than ever for my mom. I havenât felt angry at her in years. But when I was a teen, I earnestly desired to kill her more than once.
I …

My Motherâs Abuse and the Two Things That Have Helped Me Heal
âI love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.â ~Stephanie Sparkles
I have a tattoo on my back of Charles Bukowski’s quote âWhat matters most is how well you walk through the fire.â It spoke to me as I had been walking, often crawling, through a fire for much of my life.
At times, I took different paths, skipping through fields of flowers, but eventually I would find my way back to what I knew, which gave me a strange sense of comfortâthe fire …

The Surprising Lesson I Learned About Why People Leave Us
âWhen the student is ready, the teacher will appear.â ~Lao Tzu
While this Lao Tzu quote may sound familiar, I recently learned there is a second portion of that quote that often gets omitted.
âWhen the student is truly ready…the teacher will disappear.â
The first part of this quote was a healing anchor for me as I went through what I call a thirteen, or a divine storm.
In one yearâs time, I went through a devastating divorce, was robbed, got in two car accidents, and lost a dear friend to a heart attack. I felt like I was watching …

How I Healed from the Trauma of My Father’s Abandonment
âWhen another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.â ~Thich Nhat Hanh
When I was fifteen years old, my dad abandoned my mother, younger sister, and me after a bankruptcy. My mother sat me down at the kitchen table to show me our financial situation scribbled on a yellow legal pad.
Dad left us with six months of unpaid rent. The landlord threatened us with eviction until mom made a deal to pay extra rent …

The Enduring Pain of Losing Someone You Love to Suicide
âThe reality is that you will grieve forever.â ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
March is always hard for me. Has been since March 21, 2017. Thatâs the day my eldest son, then twenty-seven, found his father hanging in our basement. I apologize for being so brutal. But it was.
What no one tells you about grief, what catches you by surprise, is the fact that you can be five years out and still, when March comes around, you can find yourself in a fetal position on the ceramic floor of your kitchenâhowling like a wounded dog because a memory …

How I Stopped Feeling Sorry for Myself and Shifted from Victim to Survivor
âWhen we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.â ~BrenĂ© Brown
There was a time when I felt really sorry for myself. I had good reason to be. My life had been grim. There had been so much tragedy in my life from a young age. I had lost all my grandparents young, lived in a home with alcoholism and domestic abuse, and to top it all off, my dad killed himself.
I could write you a long list of how life did me wrong. I threw myself …

How Iâm Coping with Grief by Finding Meaning in My Fatherâs Death
âLife has to end, love doesnât.â ~Mitch Albom
Before we dive into the dark subject of death, let me assure you, this is a happy read. It is not about how losing a loved one is a blessing but how it can be a catalyst to you unlocking big lessons in your life.
Or maybe it isâyou decide.
To me, this is just about a perspective, a coping mechanism, and a process that I am personally employing to get over the loss of a loved one.
My dad and I were best buds till I became a teenager. Then my …

Healing from Shame: How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Fundamentally Wrong
âIf you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it canât survive.â ~BrenĂ© Brown
There is a special type of shame that activates within me when I am around some family members. It’s the kind of shame where I am back in my childhood body, feeling utterly wicked for being such a disaster of a human. A terrible child that is worthless, stupid, and perhaps, if I am honest, more than a …

Why Itâs So Hard to Just Rest and Why We Need to Do It
âIf you donât give your mind and body a break, youâll break. Stop pushing yourself through pain and exhaustion and take care of your needs.â ~Lori Deschene
In November of 2021, my autoimmune issues flared up. My doctor and I are still unsure which of my conditionsârheumatoid arthritis or fibromyalgiaâwas the culprit, or if they were acting in cahoots, but the overall achiness and debilitating fatigue were a solid indication that something was more active than usual.
I woke up tired, needed naps, and often ran out of spoonsâa phrase familiar to many with chronic condition, based on a gorgeous …

What Is Stress-Induced Illness? How Trauma Can Cause Physical Pain
âWisdom is merely the movement from fighting life to embracing it.â ~Rasheed Ogunlaru
Three years ago, I fell into the blind spot of medicine: America’s unknown epidemic.
After numerous tests, scans, scopes, and too many doctors to count, modern medicine could not find anything seriously wrong with me. I also consented to have my gallbladder removed. My first and only surgery at age forty, an “experiment” of sorts.
Six months into the worst nightmare of my life, my spiraling health started to take a huge toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I didnât want to live anymore, but …

How to Thrive in Life after Surviving Cancer
âHave a little faith in your ability to handle whateverâs coming down the road. Believe that you have the strength and resourcefulness required to tackle whatever challenges come your way. And know that you always have the capacity to make the best of anything. Even if you didnât want it or ask for it, even if it seems scary or hard or unfair, you can make something good of any loss or hardship. You can learn from it, grow from it, help others through it, and maybe even thrive because of it. The future is unknown, but you can know …

How I Healed My Low Self-Worth After Infidelity and Divorce
âItâs okay to let go of those who couldnât love you. Those who didnât know how to. Those who failed to even try. Itâs okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. Youâre outgrowing them because youâre growing into you. And thatâs more than okay, thatâs something to celebrate.â ~Angelica Moone
Once upon a time, I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams. He was the most romantic, loving, amazing person I had ever met and for some reason, he wanted to be with me.
I was …

The Beauty in Her Baldness: Why My Mother Was Still Radiant with Cancer
“Beauty doesnât come from physical perfection. It comes from the light in our eyes, the spark in our hearts, and the radiance we exude when weâre comfortable enough in our skin to focus less on how we look and more on how we love.” ~Lori Deschene
For as long as I can remember, my mom had long shiny silky black hair down to her knees. It was magical in the way that it attracted people and inspired curiosity and connection.
Everywhere we went, strangers approached her, usually timidly at first with a brief compliment, and then, after receiving her signature …

Dear Mom and Dad, Thank You for the Years of Trauma
âWhen you finally learn that a personâs behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than you, you learn grace.â ~Allison Aars
Iâm writing this to say thank you for the trauma you caused me since I was born. You might be thinking that Iâm being sarcastic, but thatâs far from the truth.
Let me explain why I have such gratitude for the pain and trauma you created in my life. Also, please understand that I forgive you.
Dad, I want to start with you because youâre no longer living. I know youâre now able to see the …

How a Highly Sensitive Person Can Get Over a Breakup And Move On
âA shoutout to everyone who is trying right now⊠Trying to do the right thing. Trying to stay open. Trying to keep going. Trying to hold on. Trying to let go. Trying to find their flow. Trying to stay afloat. Trying to meet each new day. Trying to find their balance. Trying to love themselves. Trying new things and new ways. I see you. Iâm there too. Weâre in this together.â ~S.C. Lourie
Breakups are devastating, and the pain is real. But if youâre a highly sensitive person (HSP), it can take an extreme toll on your system because HSPs …