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Posts tagged with “happy”

The Truth Behind Judging Others and Why We Do It

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“Judging is preventing us from understanding a new truth. Free yourself from the rules of old judgments and create the space for new understanding.” ~Steve Maraboli

For a long time, I was a judgmental person. I would look at other people walking along the street—who had no idea I was even paying them any attention—and make all kinds of comments based on their appearance, their dress sense, the way they talk, walk, their weight—anything that took my fancy.

“She shouldn’t be wearing that skirt—it’s too short.”

“She should focus on losing weight, not scarfing down that bar of chocolate.”

“Her …

Choose to Be Kind to Yourself When You’re Sad

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6 Questions to Help You Love Yourself More When It Feels Impossible

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

In 2012, self-love became the most important thing in my life. After self-loathing and addiction led me to rock bottom, there was nowhere to go but up. When someone asked me last year how long I’d been on the self-love journey, I counted back from 2012. That’s when I thought it began.

In my old journals, however, I recently found something strange and incredible—my self-love journey started long before I thought it had. Years prior to hitting rock bottom, I’d been having the same …

3 Steps to a Happier Life: Interview with Kristi Ling and Book Giveaway

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The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. They are:

  • Stuart Dods
  • Sheldon Dwyer

People often tell us we have to choose to be happy, but what they don’t always tell us is how.

How do we choose happiness when we’re dealing with life’s everyday struggles and devastating traumas and tragedies?

How can we choose happiness when we’re grappling with persistent negative thoughts and overwhelming emotions?

What exactly do we need to do—or not do—to overcome our challenges and demons and experience more joy in our daily lives?

Tiny Buddha contributor Kristi Ling, a renowned happiness strategist and …

When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Past Relationships

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“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat- Zinn

Over the years I’ve talked to a lot of people about that one love, the one who got away, the one who it didn’t work out with, the one with whom the timing was bad.

I’ve had these conversations with people from all age groups, including people in their seventies. I’ve had my own journey with all of the above as I traveled toward finding a life partner.

It seems whether you stay together or not you’ll likely be in each other’s minds for quite some …

Meeting Grief with Mindfulness: How Embracing Pain Opens the Door to Joy

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“We shake with joy, we shake with grief.  What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.” ~Mary Oliver

Mindfulness is a way of relating to our experience that opens us to the totality of it—that is, we learn to embrace it all, the joy and the heartache. But some experiences are harder to be with.

It’s difficult to be with physical or emotional pain, and we often retreat to the mind in search of distractions. But when we are able to fully be with our experience, something that feels like magic happens.

It …

How to Start Loving the Parts of Yourself You Don’t Like

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“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

The sun was breaking into my living room as I was sitting at my dining table, viewing a video that I had just recorded for my Facebook group. It was the first one I took, two minutes long, and there were ten more waiting to be recorded.

I had just pressed the play button to see how I look and sounded, and boy, was I in for a surprise.

I kid you not, I felt like I …

8 Ridiculously Easy Ways to Get (or Stay) in Shape

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“The secret of living well and longer is: eat half, walk double, laugh triple, and love without measure.” ~Tibetan Proverb

For a lot of my life, my weight was a source of great stress.

Growing up, I was the frequently taunted chubby kid in class. Unlike my sister, who always chose strawberry-flavored everything, I leaned toward chocolate and spent way too much time sitting in front of a TV.

I had a potbelly (which made me look like a pregnant eight-year-old) that only slightly deflated when a growth spurt shot me up to the towering height of 5’1œ”.

In …

How to Set New Year’s Goals You’ll Actually Enjoy Pursuing

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“Intentions and goals are tools for liberation. But when we use goal-chasing like a hammer, it can beat up on our self-esteem, relationships, and creativity.” ~ Danielle Laporte

Every year, we set out to reach new goals and change our lives. This may mean finally meeting that girlfriend or boyfriend, achieving the dream body, or increasing our salary. Or maybe it’s all three, and a bit more. Whatever combination of goals we have, they help us see how we want to live out our year.

But we can get obsessed with reaching them, so much so that we start to …

A Little Appreciation Can Go a Long Way in Your Relationships

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“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than bread.” ~Mother Teresa

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over four years. We’ve had our fair share of great times and not so pretty moments, but this summer our relationship was put to the test.

During that time, I went through some major transitions with my career and personal development, all things that needed to happen for me to be the best version of myself.

Those months were filled with long hours of working and being alone, solely focusing on creating the future I wanted. …

Seeking Outside Approval Is Giving Our Power Away

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“When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful.” ~Caroline Myss

Back in the winter of 2012, I was devastated by a sudden near-deaf experience (90% hearing loss), which led me to a dead end in my IT career.

“You’ve been overworked. Rest is the only way to recuperate,” said every single doctor.

Leaving my corporate sales job left me feeling like a total failure.

I felt lost, confused, and frustrated as darkness swallowed my self-esteem.

“Why did you have to work so hard and not get the credit you deserved?!” 

“Is deafness all …

Why Striving For Perfection Is Actually Holding You Back

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

I used to strive for perfection in every aspect of my life. I thought perfection would make me “acceptable” to others.

Deep down, I felt inadequate, insecure, and not enough. And subconsciously, I decided that if I could just achieve perfection with myself, my body, and my life, than I would finally feel the deep love and inner acceptance I longed for inside of myself.

As a kid, I demanded a perfect report card: only …

9 Things to Give Up If You Want to Be Happy

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The Importance of Doing Nothing (and No, You’re Not Too Busy)

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“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.” ~Lao Tzu

Whether it’s chores or children, to-do lists or bucket lists—let alone work—modern life moves at a demanding pace. It’s a hamster wheel and, unlike our beloved family pet, we’ve decided it’s not fun.

But as a society we revel in being busy all the time. We consider those who do nothing on the weekend to be dull or lazy. We don’t have time to chew the cud. If William Henry Davies thought his lot “had no time to stop and stare,” he should turn in his grave and see …

How to Forgive When You Don’t Think You Can

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“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~Steve Maraboli

Have you ever had a relationship, friendship, or marriage that ended so badly it took years, a decade, or even longer to heal? Have you ever wished you could forgive someone but just didn’t think it was possible?

Fifteen years ago I was twenty-six and in a relationship with a man that was destructive. After an intense romance in his home country, I made the poor decision that he should …

If You Want To Know Love, Stop Lying

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“Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love.” ~Bell Hooks

I was once a liar. I didn’t know I was a liar at the time. I didn’t consciously tell an untruth. Instead, my entire being did.

Lying isn’t just something that is done with words. We can lie with our actions. We can lie with our silence. We can lie with our complicity. We can lie by pretending to be who we aren’t.

I was the lie.

I played dress up for most of my life. It didn’t happen all at once. I …

Stop Focusing on Your “Flaws” and Let Your Light Shine Bright

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“Vulnerability is about having the courage to show up and be seen.” ~Brene Brown

When I was twenty-seven someone told me I had old looking skin.

Up until I heard this comment, I had never given much thought to my skin. Ever since, however, it’s been the only thing I see when I look in the mirror.

Lately, I have been diving deeper into the inner areas of my life that still need further integration. Making themselves most apparent as top priorities are self-love and acceptance.

A good friend recently told me that she has started to look at herself …

When It’s Hard to Trust: 5 Reminders to Soothe New Relationship Anxiety

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“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway

“I’m happy. That’s all you need to know.”

These were the final words I spoke to the first person who ever broke my heart and nearly broke my spirit along with it.

He came into my life unexpectedly, and with a ray of light so radiant it uplifted me and gave me hope in the midst of a dark and challenging year. But after only a few short months, that light burned out as he cast me aside quietly, slowly, for …

7 Strategies to Stay Sane This Holiday Season

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“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

It’s that time of year again. The fresh scent of an evergreen fills the house. Strains of “Silent Night” and “Jingle Bells” permeate the airwaves. Once again, I unpack the fragile, ceramic Santa that I made as a gift for my mom when I was five. Suddenly, I’m transported back in time—for better or for worse.

The holidays should be joyous times filled with family and friends, but sometimes the very traditions that give meaning to this season also trigger old fears, …

Why No One Needs “Fixing” or Wants Unsolicited Advice

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“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’re lost.” ~Dalai Lama

Have you ever felt the urge to fix someone? And by fix I mean observe their circumstances and tell them what you think they’re doing wrong and exactly how you think they should fix it?

We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty.

Especially with close friends or family.

“If he would only listen to me and do what I say then everything would work out just fine!”

Sound familiar?

I was having tea with a good friend the …