The Keeper of Your Happiness
Source: WomenWorking.com
âRespond kindly to someone who is unkind to you.â ~Lori Deschene (from Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges, January 15)
Growing up with an alcoholic father, I was often on the receiving end of his anger. As a child, I didn’t realize his behavior was a reflection of how he felt inside and wasn’t about me at all.
I thought he was angry because I wasnât good enough or I had done something wrong. I felt like if I could just be perfect enough, maybe he would love me. I tried and tried, but trying to be perfect didnât …
âPain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future.â ~Unknown
I used to think when someone cheated on me that I was flawed.
You see, I had a core belief that there was something wrong with me. I never felt enough. I’m not even sure I can fully articulate this feeling, but whatever it was, I just didn’t feel enough. Slim enough, pretty enough, clever enough, worthy enough, or just, well, anything enough.
I’ve now come to see that when someone mistreats you it has almost nothing to …
âRealize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.â ~Eckhart Tolle
Presence. Itâs something that used to be an absolute mystery to me.
During my five years working in the fast-paced world of public relations, I was frequently running from one meeting to the next, nose in my cell phone, barely coming up for air and completely oblivious to the world around me.
Little did I know, I was missing out on so many moments during my day where I could feel grounded, grateful, and present instead of stressed out and anxious.
Today, life is much different. I …
âA good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.â ~Charles H. Spurgeon
What are the benefits of being friendly? Some might argue that there arenât many advantages to it. These people might even tell you that you should mind your own business instead of trying to please everyone.
But is friendliness really just an attempt to please others? Is it really a sign of insecurity or even weakness?
I believe friendliness is a sign of inner strength and …
âI would rather die of passion than of boredom.â ~Vincent Van Gogh
I attended an interesting event a few nights ago. It featured ten speakers who spoke for ten minutes each on ten things you should know before you die.
The speakers included TV and film stars, CEOs, cover-shooting photojournalists, traveling journalists covering natural disasters, and HIV survivors. As you can imagine, there was a wide spectrum of perspectives shared.
Here are a few of the lessons that stuck out for me. A lot of these can profoundly change your mindset, how you view the world, and how you choose …
âYou are what you practice most.â ~Richard Carlson
âWhat are you practicing?â she asked in a gentle, lilting voice.
The entire class was in triangle pose, and at that moment I was comparing my triangle to the young womanâs right next to mine, scolding myself for wobbling out of the pose and simultaneously harassing myself for not being âfurther alongâ in my career. (Because if youâre going to hate on yourself, my motto is GO BIG.)
âAre you practicing judgment or comparison?â she tenderly probed.
âWTF!â I thought. âDoes this woman have a direct line to my brain?â
âAre you …
âGood relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.â ~Unknown
We are wired to seek âthe right one,â the ever-supportive partner, and the loving relationship.
If we get all three, itâs like winning the lottery of life. When we meet someone, we dream of him/her being our soul mate. When we are in a relationship, we hope theyâll love and support us unconditionally, and the relationship will be loving and everlasting.
That would be the ideal world, and, unfortunately, the ideal world isnât the one we live in.
It took …
âMake âLet go of controlâ your mantra today.â ~Tiny Buddhaâs 365 Tiny Love Challenges #177
When the phone call came I was thousands of miles from home. My father was suddenly ill, admitted to the hospital. I was a medical doctor by then, and I felt a foreboding.
My mind went back to my childhood.
Imagine being a little child in a dark room. Every small noise evokes images of vicious monsters lurking in the night. They draw nearer.
You cry out, âDaddy!â And cry out once more. Then your hero comes to the rescue.
Your father shuffles in …
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When I was a kid, I could color for hours. I could be a little Type-A about it; if I went outside the lines, I would often rip out the page and throw it away, and I may even have yelled, âI hate coloring!â while cursing my imperfection.
But that was a lieâI loved it. So it was only a matter …
âThe only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.â ~ C. JoyBell C.
At a recent visit to the doctor’s office I had some routine checks done. Afterward, the doctor flipped through the findings and said, âBlood pressure, good. Pulse, good. Weight, okay.â
He then continued talking about other things, but my mind was still on his previous words. âWeight, okay.â
Why wasn’t my weight âgoodâ like my pulse and blood pressure?Â
I had managed to completely skim over the fact that my vital signs were …
âWho does not thank for little does not thank for much.â ~Estonian Proverb
I remember the moment so well: I had been seeing a new guy for a few months and I was staying the night for the first time. Up until that point he hadnât seen me without heavy makeup, as I was careful to always look completely put together while with him.
That night I had to make a decision.
I could fall asleep with my makeup still on, or I could remove it first. Did I feel comfortable enough to let him see me without foundation, eyeliner, …
âDo the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.â ~Oprah Winfrey
Iâll never forget being filled with utter disappointment as I watched my mum cross the finish line at the Paris marathon. I should have been celebrating her achievement. Instead, all I felt was regret for not crossing the finish line alongside her.
I had set myself the goal of running a marathon and invited my mum along for the …
âThe outer conditions of a personâs life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.â ~James Allen
I was one of those who used to say, âMoney isnât taboo for me! Not in a million years!â Thatâs until I became aware of the knot in my stomach during a phone conversation with a potential business partner.
I intended to explain how I award commissions for client referrals.
âWell,â I said, âI offer aâŠgift to friends and colleagues who refer potential clients to me.â
âA gift?â he asked on the other side of the line.
âThe gift isâŠuhâŠâ My …
âA journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.â ~John Steinbeck
Around six years ago I started to meditate. I had a spiritual awakening, and life started to look really different.
I have always been a feeler and reader of emotion, but this was different. It was like I was synchronized with everyone around me, as if everyone else was connected to me in some strange and mysterious way.
It later …
âGrief can be the garden of compassion.â ~Rumi
Have you ever had lower back pain? I once wrenched my back and walked at snailâs pace for weeks, crippled by pain. Lower back pain troubled me for years, until I found an exercise that reliably switches off the pain.
Have you ever lost a loved one? The anguish can seem unbearable.
Abolishing pain might seem a good idea, but please pause to consider this story.
I was once the doctor and scientist on a health âmissionâ with a major international organization. Our team included a vivacious and intelligent young lady …
âTo ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.â ~William Londen
Who doesn’t want to be healthier and happier?
Too often we focus on one and not the other and wonder why we achieve neither. We neglect to realize that health and happiness often go hand in hand.
I spent my teens trying to lose weight because I thought being skinny was the key to happiness.
I spent my twenties ignoring my health, abusing my body, and looking for happiness in superficial relationships and my status …
âBeliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.â ~Tony Robbins
âIâm not great at relationships.â This is something I used to say all the time, to others and myself.
Iâd had quite a few unhealthy friendships that ended in dramatic showdowns when our combined issues proved toxic.
My romantic relationships werenât any less volatileâlargely because my deep-seated shame affected the type of men I attracted and compromised my ability to be there, with and for others.
But even after making significant progress with my insecurities and working through some painful experiences from my past, I realized I …