Tag: Happiness

40 Amazing Everyday Successes That Are Worth Celebrating

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to leave the world a better place; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

My father is my hero, and one of the most successful men in the world.

When I was a kid he worked two full-time blue-collar jobs to support me and my siblings. He didn’t have a college degree—he attended briefly on a golf scholarship and then got hurt—but he compensated with hard work.

Though many people wouldn’t be happy with that type of life, I never once heard him complain. Being someone who prefers a simple routine over ambition, he stayed in the printing industry until he got laid off last year.

Though he’s inspired me in a million ways, he’s done two things exceedingly well: enjoy his life and treat everyone with kindness and respect.

I thought about this the other day while flipping through Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People list. As I read about leaders and luminaries who’ve made huge impact on the world, I started to think about the important little things we all do on a daily basis.

You may not have won the Nobel Peace Prize, but that doesn’t mean you’re not influential in making the world a peaceful place. You may not have created a tool that connects millions of people the world over, but you’re still the glue that holds people together in more ways than you even realize.

I haven’t always given myself credit for all the good I do. If you can relate, you may enjoy this reminder of all the ways you make the world a better place. (more…)

May 23, 2010
30 Ways to Live Life to the Fullest

“Begin at once to live and count each separate day as a separate life.” ~Seneca

At times, it’s seemed as though life contains an endless supply of days.

I thought this for sure when I was younger. It didn’t matter how long I held a grudge or how long I waited to do something I wanted—there would be an unlimited pool of other opportunities. At least, that’s what I thought back then.

Maybe it’s a rite of passage from childhood to adulthood, the moment when you realize life happens now and that’s all you’re guaranteed. It doesn’t really hit you when you merely know it intellectually, like you know your ABCs, state capitals, and other concrete facts.

It hits you when somehow you feel it. Your health declines. You lose someone you love. A tragedy rocks your world. It isn’t until you realize that all life fades that you consider now a commodity, and a scarce one at that.

But maybe that’s irrelevant. Maybe living a meaningful, passionate life has nothing to do with its length and everything to do with its width.

With this in mind, I recently asked Tiny Buddha’s Facebook friends, “How do you live life to the fullest?” I was inspired by what they had to say, so I’ve used them to create this list: (more…)

May 20, 2010
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: An Alternative to Competing with People

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown

We all do it or have done it at some point in our lives: We compare ourselves to others and gauge where we are based on what we observe them to be doing.

If this was simply an observation, that would be one thing. But in comparing ourselves to others, we often end up judging ourselves. There’s no one worse to judge!

If you have ever noticed, it doesn’t matter how many people are on your side, cheering you on. If you can’t get on your own side, you never get past “go.”

The thing about comparison is that there is never a win. How often do we compare ourselves with someone less fortunate than us and consider ourselves blessed? More often, we compare ourselves with someone who we perceive as being, having, or doing more.

And this just leaves us coming up short.

But our minds do want to quantify. Our minds want to rank and file and organize information. Our mind wants to know where we fit into the scheme of things. So we need to give it something to do. (more…)

May 18, 2010
One Simple Way to Live a Successful Life

“Whenever you fall, pick something up.” ~Oswald Avery

There are plenty of people in this world who know how to be successful, but how many of them know how to fail?

When you fail, that’s when you become stronger—you learn to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and move on.

These are also opportunities to learn and to help others as you come back up. As the quote above says, when you fall, pick something up. I would add that when you fall, you should pick someone up too.

I used to envy other people, thinking them more successful than I may have been. But I have done a lot in my life, seen a lot of things, worked with lots of different kinds of people. I have been successful and I have failed, and I think it is this that has allowed me to be a more grounded human being.

I have learned that it takes all kinds of people to run the world, and that the ones running the world are not always the smartest.

I have worked underneath supervisors who make you wonder how they graduated from high school, and I have met truck drivers out on the road who are smarter, more educated, and more widely read than some of our recent US Presidents and CEO’s of fortune 500 companies. (more…)

May 13, 2010
25 Little Changes to Make the Day More Exciting

“All appears to change when we change.”~Henri-Frédéric Amiel

I admit it, I’m a change addict. I love new cities, apartments, jobs, and friends. This can be both a strength and a weakness.

On the one hand, I never shy away from a new experience or opportunity. On the other hand, it takes a strong effort for me to stick with anything once the novelty wears off.

So today I started thinking about all the ways I can make a day exciting without changing any of the big things that need to stay constant if I’m to make progress on my larger goals. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

1. Start the day with a blank piece of paper and the question: “What if today were my last?”

Write down what you’d do differently and then try to do at least five of those things.

2. Wear something much bolder than you usually do.

This gives people the opportunity to see you in a new light, which means they may interact with you differently.

3. Take a different path when you walk to work.

Maybe you’ll pass a restaurant you’d like to try sometime or a gym that’s offering free classes.

4. If you drive, park your car a mile away and take the bus the rest of the way.

I did this one time and met a man on the bus who I dated for a month. Well worth the detour!

5. If you take public transportation for your commute, make the time meditative or educational.

Practice deep breathing, listen to soothing music, or download an audio book for the ride.

6. Take pictures of things that catch your eye throughout the day.

You’ll notice a lot more than you usually do—and new people will likely talk to you to figure out what you’re doing.

7. Change your workspace.

Bring new pictures and candles, or move your desk if you’re able. Rearranging furniture always makes my space more exciting.

8. Start collecting something you often see throughout the day.

It will make the whole day more interesting if you have your eyes peeled for rare coins, specific pens, and odd food labels.

9. Make it a goal to talk to five people you don’t know.

And I mean real conversations. Ask them what they do on the weekends, what their favorite memory is, and whether or not they like spam. (Okay, the last one is less interesting, but I think it says a lot about you if you eat unidentifiable lunch meat.)

10. Commit to complimenting everyone you encounter on something.

Sometimes it will be easy; sometimes it will be challenging. Every time it will brighten someone’s day and fill you with joy.

11. Take a class during your lunch break.

Head to the gym, learn to do pottery, start guitar lessons. You can always eat a sandwich at your desk later.

12. Eat lunch at a different time than usual.

You never know what you’re missing in the office when you head out at the same time every day.

13. Make lunch and bring enough for two people.

Then offer some to someone in your office.

14. Give yourself a challenge.

Maybe it’s to find a lower car insurance rate or talk to someone you secretly admire. I get a big kick out of little victories like these.

15. Read about a topic that’s completely new and interesting to you.

Then start a conversation about it. It’s always fun to share a new passion, especially if the other person gets excited, too.

16. Learn ten new words from a thesaurus and then use them all twice during the day.

Maybe I’m just a dork, but I get excited about stretching my vocabulary!

17. Practice mindfulness during a boring activity.

In Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh’s book The Miracle of Mindfulness, he explains how he stays fully present when washing the dishes—and enjoys it. Anything can be interesting if you get curious about how it works.

18. Count risks.

See how many (smart) risks you can take throughout the day, like accepting a difficult assignment or committing to something you’ve never done before.

19. Say yes to everything.

In the movie Yes Man, Jim Carrey said yes to absolutely everything, even an intimate moment with someone’s grandma. I’m not suggesting you go to that extreme, but you’ll likely have an exciting day if you say yes to most things you’re asked.

20. Commit random acts of kindness.

You’ll get a warm fuzzy feeling and you’ll create some good karma for yourself. You never know when that kindness will come back to you and open up your world.

21. Bet on things.

Once on The Office everyone bet on stupid things, like how long it would take Kelly to explain Netflix to Ryan, or whether Creed would notice they replaced his apple with a potato. If you’re pulling an all-nighter, this could be a fun way to hold onto your sanity.

22. Set up a profile on a dating site (if you’re single).

I was on Match.com for a while, and I have to admit I kind of watched my email like a kid counting down ‘til Christmas.

23. Ask someone to come out to play.

Kids are always willing to jump around, get messy, and give get their blood pumping. You still have legs and endorphins—tap into that. Play basketball after work, go bike riding, or spend some time on the swings.

24. Learn something new during all your routine activities.

When you buy coffee, ask the barista how long the shop has been there. When you make copies, pay attention to how the machine works.

25. Swap apartments with a friend for a night.

Assuming you trust each other, why not? A change of scenery can work wonders; and it’s always fun to see how someone else lives.

I once read that intelligent people are never bored because they’re always curious. You’re smart—start exploring! If you keep your mind engaged and fresh during your downtime, you’ll have far more passion and focus when it’s time to get productive. And equally important, you’ll enjoy more of the minutes that would otherwise just pass by.

May 11, 2010
How to Let Go of the Past So It Won’t Anchor You Down

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Unknown

Let’s face it, we all dwell on the past from time to time. That’s okay—we’re human beings with emotions. As we live life and experience it to its fullest, it’s only natural that we sometimes cling onto what once was.

But when our desire to cling to the past affects our future, we begin a potentially unhealthy and seemingly endless battle with anchors that can hold us down and sink us.

For the past six years I’ve dreaded spring. While many would embrace the rain, the newborn green, and the post-winter renaissance, I’d plead with the powers that be to skip past March and April.

For me, spring is a brutal reminder of a series of unfortunate events. I experienced two subsequent losses that made me think I had to be miserable.

I carried this burden with me, letting it anchor me down, which made certain locations, dates, and possibilities “off limits.” I dreaded every arrival of spring, afraid that my emotions would spin out of control because of these anchors.

Sometimes they did, but it took me a while to realize it was because I let them.

Whether you’ve experienced a breakup, a tragic death, or a streak of bad luck, certain people, places, and things probably anchor you to the past. These tips may help you let go and move forward. (more…)

May 10, 2010
5 Happiness Tips for the Unemployed (and 15 Tips to Support Them)

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” ~Charles Swindoll

Unemployment is up almost 10% and job opportunities are not necessarily speeding to catch up. It’s not always easy to stay positive when you’re dealing with uncertainty, particularly if you fell out of a comfortable situation and now have to adapt.

But if you’re willing to see the experience as a challenge, and possibly even an opportunity, you can find a sense of peace and fulfillment—not just once you find work, but while you’re in the process of looking. It’s not just cliché advice that sounds good on paper. It’s actually possible. Here’s how.

(more…)

May 4, 2010
7 Tips to Keep Technology from Taking Over Your Life (from Wisdom 2.0)
“To change the world we need to combine ancient wisdom with new technologies.” ~Paulo Cohelo

This weekend I was honored and grateful to speak at Wisdom 2.0, a conference that addressed the question:

How can we use the technologies of our age, from cell phones to social media, with mindfulness, meaning, and wisdom?

Organizer Soren Gordhamer, author of Wisdom 2.0: Ancient Secrets for the Creative and Constantly Connected, created nothing short of magic by attracting participants from all sides of the conversation, from Twitter and Facebook to Yoga Journal and Samovar Tea.

If you’ve ever sat in a room with people who love you, want the best for you, and respect your words and needs, you have a fraction of an idea of what it felt like to attend this conference. There was just that much positive energy radiating from every direction.

During the first panel of the first day, Chris Sacca (Strategic Advisor for Twitter) joked he’d never, through all his experiences in tech conferences, had so many people pay such close attention to him.

It was just that sort of crowd: people who want to bring a sense of presence and gratitude to every moment, harnessing technology to meet those needs instead of letting technology hinder them.

I kept an ear out for the most practical suggestions to manage the constant flow of data through tweets, texts, and emails without letting it consume our lives. Since I missed some of the second day, these mostly come from the first:

1. Make deliberate choices about time.

Though most of us probably receive far less email than Chris Sacca, we can all benefit from his conclusion about email: He’s only willing to spend so much time reacting to communication from people instead of creating life as he wants to experience it. For Chris, this means only responding to emails that absolutely require his response.

He cited some fascinating research that reveals we actually receive a little dopamine rush when we see something new in the inbox.

My suggestion: realize it’s worth potential guilt over ignoring non-essential messages if it means allowing you more time to be as you’d like to be, and find the dopamine in a healthier way, by doing something new instead of waiting for a new message.

2. Box out time to put technology away.

Brad (Google VP of Products) offered this simple advice, perhaps one of the most important ideas: plan for specific times when you won’t engage with technology in any way. When you are using technology, aim to create a new type of flow so you don’t lose yourself or feel anxious when dealing with what’s in front of you.

3. Remember: the most precious thing you can give someone is your presence.

Roshi Joan Halifax made this beautiful observation: Though social networking can bring us closer together, nothing can replace warm hand-to-warm-hand contact.

If you keep in mind that your presence—your attention—is the most precious thing you can give someone else, perhaps you’ll be less tempted to multi-task face-to-face encounters by tweeting, Facebooking, or emailing. It’s this type of simple but powerful understanding that can help us tame the compulsion to connect digitally when it compromises physical connection.

4. Be mindful of your reasons for connecting to technology.

Tami Simon, of Sounds True, made some insightful observations about her instinct to pull out a piece of technology. Others from the panel chimed in, creating this list:
- For stimulation
- For confirmation of importance (as in, I got so many emails, I must be important!)
- To connect with other people
- To have something to do when anxiety creeps in
- To find an escape from the rawness of an experience or to feel in control
Self-awareness is such an important step. If you realize why you’re turning to technology in times when connection or learning new information isn’t critical, you’ve made the first step to reconnecting with yourself.

5. Get the most important things done and let go of the rest.

If you don’t live in a world where you’re in control of your tasks and schedule, this might be challenging. Still, there are probably a handful of tasks you don’t really need to complete but feel obligated to do for one reason or another.

Instead of assuming you have an endless list of things to do, which probably leaves you with little time at the end of the day, be clear about what’s important to you and what you can leave undone. It’s okay not to do everything. It’s okay to have emails in the inbox. It’s okay to not update your blog for a day. You deserve time to disconnect.

6. Make minimal commitments to yourself for a clear mental space.

Many of us don’t consistently honor what we need to do to maintain physical and emotional well-being because we get sucked into technology and to-do lists. Gopi Kallayil (from Google) suggests making minimal commitments: one minute of meditation, or five minutes of exercising.

It’s easier to honor a minimal commitment, and odds are, you’ll find the time so enjoyable you’ll end up increasing it. Gopi also recommends making “non-negotiable commitments” to yourself. For example, he does yoga every Tuesday, and nothing changes that.

This is what I like to call homework for being a good human being—the things you need to do on your own before you show up to play with others if you’re to be your best, most balanced self.

7. Track your day’s presence in battery life.

Leah Pearlman (from Facebook) had some of the most practical suggestions for living peacefully in a technology-driven world. Her main advice was to make it fun instead of considering it another chore.

I enjoyed her clever realization about cell phone battery life. If your phone’s about to die at the end of the day (or if you need to charge it multiple times) you’re clearly sucked into your gadget. If you can get to the end of the day with some life left, though, you’ve probably lived the day mindfully.

—

This is just a brief sampling of what went on at Wisdom 2.0. I didn’t even touch upon my favorite moment from Day 1: when Tony Hsieh explored the culture of kindness and happiness he created at Zappos (as further explored in his book, Delivering Happiness.)

Instead of giving you the play-by-play, I’ve decided to share the most valuable perspectives I can offer: ones that come from all the good people who lent their hearts to Wisdom 2.0.
- Social Media + Mindfulness = Infectious Enlightenment (from Mei Mei Fox)
- Wisdom 2.0: Living Consciously in a Connected World (by Beth Kanter)
- Wisdom 2.0: Technology and Mindfulness (Maia Duerr)
- Notes from Wisdom 2.0 Conference: Part 2 (Marguerite Manteau-Rao)
If you’ve blogged about the Wisdom 2.0 conference, let me know and I will add the link here!

Photo here and here.
May 2, 2010
The Halfhearted Yes: Why We Don’t Say No and How to Start

“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” ~Gandhi

I was having dinner with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago when I asked her about a group she was considering joining. I wanted to know how it was going and what she decided.

“You know,” she said, “I realized after the first group that I’m not that passionate about it. So, I’m not going to do it. I’d rather make my time available for something that matters more to me.”

Aside from this being a healthy choice, it was also a very conscious and deliberate choice. She chose in the direction of her passion.

How many of us take what is handed to us, follow what is put in front of us, or say yes to things that don’t really align with who we are or what we want in our lives?

I’m a huge fan of the word yes. (more…)

April 30, 2010
The Dalai Lama’s Little Book of Wisdom: Review & Giveaway
Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway:
- Josh Kimbell
- Rob Ruddle
- Nathan Atkinson
One of the founding principles behind Tiny Buddha is that simple wisdom, when applied, can have a huge effect on happiness, mindfulness and peace—not just for you, but also for the people around you.

The most helpful ideas might not seem so simple in the context of our complex lives; but oftentimes, we make things more complicated than necessary by filtering them through a negative attitude or thinking too much and applying too little.

That’s makes The Dalai Lama’s Little Book of Wisdom so compelling: it’s simultaneously profound and simple. It provides some of the most helpful of the Dalai Lama’s teachings in palatable, bite-size chunks.

Having had a copy on my nightstand for over a year, I couldn’t have been more excited to receive three copies to give away to readers.

The book offers insights about finding contentment, dealing with anger and emotions, transforming the mind, and more; and concludes with a question and answer section that addresses how to apply Buddhist wisdom to real life.

Many of the highlighted passages in my copy have come to you via the Tiny Buddha Twitter stream, and more likely will down the line.

As the book flap reads: (more…)
April 28, 2010
Writing Your Way to What You Want

“All the arts we practice are apprenticeship. The big art is our life.” ~M. C. Richards

There is an art to living, to creating your life on your terms based on your desires, talents, values, and dreams. In a culture where we must attend thirteen years of school, we’re rarely taught to look within and name what it is we want from life.

We’re rarely taught that we have the power within to live the lives we want, not what other people expect of us.

While we can’t control what happens to us, we can control how we respond to what happens based on what we want.

Five years ago I resigned from teaching in the public schools after giving birth to my son. A year and a half later, awaiting the birth of my daughter, I struggled. I missed teaching. I missed connecting with kids in a classroom.

I missed having something in my life that was my own. While I felt blessed and lucky to be home, I also wanted to teach. But I didn’t know how to join these two desires that felt mutually exclusive.

Having written in a journal throughout my twenties and into my thirties, I understood the power of pinning down thoughts into words. So within the swell of this profound transformation into motherhood, I began to write about the things I knew I wanted: (more…)

April 27, 2010
10 Tips to Advise Wisely: How to Give Advice That Actually Helps

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

Nothing appears to be going right. The worst part? No one gets it, even though they might claim to.

Even though you know this is all temporary—it always is—you feel the need to ask other people what you should do. If they say what you want to hear, you’re relieved. But it doesn’t usually work that way. In fact, oftentimes you’re more frustrated than you were before once they put their two cents in.

We’ve all been there before.

Think back real hard—what in particular helped or irked you about advice people gave you? Did they say you should have done something differently (which wasn’t very useful after the fact)?

Did they tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself because other people have bigger problems? Did they offer some platitudes or cliche advice that sounded impossible to follow?

When friends have problems that seem incurable and never-ending, you can sense that hopelessness. And you want to fix it, which always seems so simple when you’re sitting on the outside. (more…)

April 20, 2010
How to Want Less and Be Happy About It

“Happiness is a way station between too little and too much.” ~Channing Pollock

The vast majority of my life has been a giant race to get things I’ve assumed would make me happy.

More money so I could do what I want when I want. A more meaningful career so I could feel both fulfilled and proud of myself. More connections so I could feel loved and worthy. And mostly, more distractions so I could avoid acknowledging why I was unhappy with myself.

“I’m making progress,” I’d delude myself. “I’m pushing myself to accomplish big things that will help people all over.”

While those things may have been true, what I was really doing was chasing the possibility of happiness as it existed in an elusive tomorrow.

Tomorrow, when I’ve made a name for myself. Tomorrow, when I can be proud of making a difference. Tomorrow, when the stars align just right.

Though I still have to make a conscious choice to root myself in today, I’ve realized nothing I want will ever bring me joy if I consistently attach happiness to something just out of my reach. In fact, more often than not, attaining those things will just make me feel emptier because it will remind me of the void nothing can fill—nothing, that is, except me. (more…)

April 18, 2010
20 Ways to Let Go of Regrets
“Every new day is another chance to change your life.” ~Unknown

You know the moment. It happens right after you realize you did something you wish you didn’t do. Maybe you broke someone’s trust and now the guilt is overwhelming you. Maybe you compromised your job in some way and now you’re terrified your world will come crashing down.

Regardless of what you did, you can feel your anxiety like a stack of red hot bowling balls surgically implanted in your stomach. (Dramatic? Yes. Regret is rarely reasonable!)

It’s that dreaded “Good God! Oh no! What was I thinking? Why me?” moment when you think one of two things:
- I did something I shouldn’t have and I might not be able to fix it.
- I did something I shouldn’t have, so I’m going to lose something important.
Both of those things might be true. In fact, they often are. Actions do have consequences. We do lose things—all through life. Nothing is permanent, not even the most secure relationship. But none of this has to be catastrophic.

Sometimes losing one thing opens you up to something else. It might be a lesson that helps you be more effective and happier in the future, or it could be a new possibility you never even thought to seek (like that dream you put off to work the job you just lost).

Or maybe it won’t benefit you in any discernible way right away. Let’s call a spade a spade—maybe you’ll wish you went a different way, grieve what you lost, and then eventually let it go and move on.

The point is you will eventually let go and move on.

And because you’re a strong, smart, capable person, you’ll find ways to make this new direction meaningful for you. To make up for what you lost by gaining something equally important in the aftermath, whether it’s a new understanding of your strengths, a new idea of who you want to be, or a new opportunity to try again a little wiser. (more…)
April 15, 2010
4 Self-Defeating Attitudes That Stand in the Way of Happiness

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

I grew up believing that nothing I did was ever good enough, and this is something that I still carry with me.

It affects every aspect of my life: my hobbies, skills, my relationships, and even the understanding I have of my body, physical appearance, and my mental health. I often think that I must have done something quite terrible in a past life to go through any of this, to not be good enough.

As certain as I’ve been of this, I’ve been sure I wasn’t responsible for these attitudes and beliefs. That other people did this to me, so I literally can’t let go of the pain they caused. They hurt me too much, did too much damage for me to confront them, stand up to them, and forgive them.

But blaming others hasn’t helped me move on and become the person I want to be.

It’s helped me stay a victim, sure—got me some sympathetic ears along the way—but it hasn’t helped me get out of bed with a smile every morning for the past twenty-odd years. It’s made me feel sluggish and sick to my stomach whenever the thoughts and memories worked their way into my consciousness.

There’s no mystery to the way I think. Negative thinking is exactly that: negative. However, understanding negative thoughts is paramount to overcoming them. (more…)

April 13, 2010
The Book of Awesome: Review & Giveaway (Autographed Copies!)
Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway:
- MTraum
- Kimberly Oi
We all know the old adage “enjoy the little things,” but how many times throughout the day do you stop to actively enjoy them? Not just notice them, but absorb yourself in them, without letting your thoughts wander to something else you need or want to do?

When a baby unclenches his chubby fist and gives you high-five. When you see someone barbecuing and really selling it, like his skewers are his paintbrush and your burger the Mona Lisa. When you catch someone singing in the car next to you, and you both laugh and connect more than strangers usually do.

How often do you let go of everything else and submit to small pockets of awesome?

The Book of Awesome (adapted from the award-winning blog 1000awesomethings.com) identifies hundreds of these moments.

But Neil Pasricha does more than just list them; he notices more awesome details in each experience than most people observe or remember.

He doesn’t just appreciate all-you-can-eat buffets; he explains how to navigate them for maximum enjoyment. He doesn’t just acknowledge it’s cool when the parking meter still has time on it; he explains the different types of meter-feeding styles, and how awesome it is that they all exist.

The result is an encyclopedia of joy, from observations to interpretations to experiences. Some moments are silly, some poignant, some nostalgic—but everything is familiar. The book is a brilliant reminder of everything that inspires a smile without treading into saccharine-sweet, Pollyanna territory.

Despite my instinct to read a few entries each morning to start the day with a smile, I read the entire book in one weekend. Curled up in bed, hunched over on the elliptical, immersed in a hot tub, riding shot gun to a family function, and late at night, when I should have been sleeping.

I know I’ll read it again—and I’m thrilled Neil has donated two autographed copies so you can enjoy it, too.

The Giveaway

To enter to win one of two autographed copies of The Book of Awesome comment below telling us what’s awesome to you!

For an extra entry, tweet the following:

RT @tinybuddha Giving away 2 autographed copies of The Book of Awesome! Comment on site & RT to enter http://bit.ly/97VVig

Readers can enter until midnight, PST on Wednesday, April 15th (when the book is available in stores). I will announce the winners in a post on Thursday. If you can’t wait, order a copy now!

FTC Disclosure: I receive complimentary books for reviews and interviews on tinybuddha.com, but I am not compensated for writing or obligated to write anything specific. I am an Amazon affiliate, meaning I earn a percentage of all books purchased through the links I provide on this site.
April 11, 2010
10 Ways to Let Go and Overcome a Bad Mood

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” ~Unknown

We all get in bad moods, no matter how positive we try to be.

Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep last night. Or you feel overworked and overwhelmed. Or perhaps something happened and you keep dwelling on it, going over and over in your head how you froze up in a meeting or spoke too aggressively to someone you love.

Whatever the case may be, you feel something you don’t want to feel and you’re not sure how to change it. You just know you need to do something before acting on that feeling.

The reality is you don’t have to act on everything you feel. Still, emotional responses happen so quickly that it becomes challenging to put space between feeling and doing.

It may seem like the answer is to stop responding to life emotionally, but that’s just not realistic. Paul Ekman, one of the foremost researchers on emotion, suggests it’s near impossible to bypass an emotional response because of the way our brains are set up.

Perhaps the best goal is to identify negative feelings quickly and improve your state of mind instead of responding to feelings with more feelings. Odds are, if you choose the latter, you’ll do something you’ll regret later.

I’ve come up with ten ways to overcome a negative state of mind: (more…)

April 8, 2010
40 Ways to Live Life Without Regrets

“The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~ Unknown

We all have something stored in our memory banks of the past that we wish we could have done differently, or something we wish we didn’t do.

As we get older we learn and grow, but that doesn’t mean we have to regret what we did before we learned how to do things differently. If we didn’t go through those experiences, we might not have grown into the strong and knowledgeable people we are today.

What I’m proposing is that we get rid of the negative thoughts—the could haves, might haves, and should haves—and start living a life that won’t make us feel regretful. Not even at an older, wiser age.

Here is a list of things you can do to practice living life with no regrets:

1. Realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from them, forgive yourself, and move on.

2. Make your health and wellness a top priority and always take care of yourself so you’re ready to take care of others.

3. Follow your own path, not one that others want you to follow.

4. Find the humor in life and laugh like there is no tomorrow.

5. Relax and move with the flow of life by being unafraid of change.

6. Be adventurous by trying new things and taking more risks.

7. Have more intellectual curiosity and embrace creativity.

8. Try to find happiness with as many different people as you can.

9. Think for yourself instead of letting other people’s opinions influence you too much.

10. Try not to judge people before you get to know them.

11. Be thankful for what you have now instead of thinking about what you don’t have.

12. Wish well upon everyone equally and try to admire without envy.

13. Share your happiness with others instead of hoarding it all for yourself.

14. Don’t try to change someone—love who they are now.

15. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

16. Know that happiness is bigger than any bank account.

17. Control negative thoughts so that they don’t contribute to the outcome of your life.

18. Use your energy wisely because spending energy complaining, worrying, or being impatient is just wasted energy.

19. Be bold. Find the courage to change things that should be changed and accept that there are some things that cannot be changed.

20. Love your work. If you don’t currently love what you do, figure out what you would love and take the first step toward that life.

21. Turn your discontent into a mystery and enjoy trying to solve it.

22. Face problems from different angles in order to find solutions.

23. Gain independence by realizing that on this earth we are all dependent upon each other.

24. Change your perspective by taking on a wider view of things.

25. Don’t waste time trying to bring disagreeable people around to liking you.

26. Become the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with.

27. Be honest with yourself and others by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

28. Treat people with respect and compassion.

29. Live in the now by loving the present and being aware of your thoughts and actions. Think happy thoughts and speak powerful words.

30. Try not to put things off until later.

31. Never hold grudges.

32. Face your fears head on and try to do the things that you think you cannot do.

33. Spend time with people who make you happy while also not depending on other people for your own happiness.

34. Stand up for yourself and others and don’t let anyone or anything hold you back.

35. Be yourself and love who you are now.

36. Be a participant in life rather than an observer.

37. Do the things that you love to do as much as you can.

38. Write out a list of goals and achieve them by doing them step by step. Don’t give up when things get difficult.

39. Do something every day that makes you feel proud of yourself—commit random acts of kindness whenever you get the chance.

40. And always keep on moving forward.

I know it seems like a rather large list of things to take on, but you can accomplish a lot on this list by doing just one thing. For example, right now as I’m typing this I’m putting into practice at least eighteen things.

Put these things into practice and see where life takes you, without regrets. And please comment below. I’d love to read your thoughts on this.

Man and the moon image via Shutterstock

April 7, 2010
Challenge Week: Kill Your Stress, Befriend Yourself & Dominate Positivity

“Challenges are what make life interesting, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” ~Joshua J. Marine

Hey, I know you’re busy. Aren’t we all? But it’s time you did yourself a favor. Investing in yourself is a surefire way to give your mind a growth spurt without any stretch marks.

Take a week to reinvent your mindset. Each of these steps requires minimal effort but yield maximum reward. What are you waiting for? Let’s do this.

This “cleanse” is laid out over the course of a week, but you don’t have to follow each day in any particular order. Tailor each challenge to a specific day that works best for your schedule. After all, what good is a program you can’t stick to? No good, Charlie. No good.

Day 1: Take a walk and be unreachable.

Turn off your phone and go for a thirty-minute walk. There’s something to be said about being completely unreachable. Who’s to say that we’re available whenever someone needs us? You are. Like the rest of us, you probably carry a cell phone.

That means that anyone in the known universe can dial your number and interrupt whatever you’re doing. Important or not, it’s your life. Remember the scene in Rocky when Adrian asks to use his phone? Rocky doesn’t have a phone. “Yo. Who needs the interruption?”

Take a stand and shut off the world for a half-hour. Walk around the block and resist the urge to see what’s new on Twitter. Your Facebook status doesn’t matter right now. Walk around the block and enjoy being at the mercy of Mother Nature.

Remember, you’re not doing this to ignore someone, but to embrace no one. If it doesn’t leave you feeling refreshed and empowered, at least you got some fresh air.

Day 2: Call someone you love.

Plain and simple, right? I’m sure Aunt Flo would love to hear from you. Grandma Smith melts every time she hears your voice. Crazy Uncle Steven is having a rough day. Cheer him up. Too often we neglect the people we love the most.

Remember when Cousin Russell fell off the trampoline and broke his arm? That was hilarious. Call him and remind him. This is an easy one that can take as little as five minutes.

Staying in touch is hugely important. Friends and family are all you’ve got, so remind them that you’re keeping them in your thoughts. You’ll thank yourself later. Guaranteed or your money back.

Day 3: Compliment a stranger.

The last time I had a rough day at work, I stopped at Sprouts to grab a sandwich for lunch. Angry at the world and fed up with just about everyone, I refused to make conversation with anyone. As I walked up to the counter to pay for my BLT, the cashier looked me square in the face and said “It’s great to see you! That shirt really brings out your eyes.”

I was stopped dead in my tracks. It’s impossible to stifle a smile with a greeting like that. If you aren’t instantly cheered up, you’re either Simon Cowell or Gordon Ramsey.

Giving a compliment is the most effective way to make a difference in someone’s day. Making someone else smile will assuredly make you smile in return. Spread the joy! It could change someone’s life.

Be sure to compliment a complete stranger. It shows the three essential Cs (character, class, and courage).

Day 4: Quiet the noise. Turn off the world.

This is the most difficult challenge of the week. The rules: No texting. No talk radio. No social networks. No e-mail. You’re going to ignore every incoming piece of information possible. When you get a text, respond with a phone call.

Turn off e-mail notifications and only check your inbox in the morning and in the evening. It’s time for a mental detox. Between Twitter, Facebook, the news, and conversations with friends, there’s always a steady flow of material for your brain to process.

Take this day to turn it off and cut out the fat. The more information you expose yourself to, the less you will retain. Weeding out the pieces that don’t matter allows you to focus on the things that do. Enjoy your day today, not someone else’s yesterday.

Day 5: Eat lunch outside.

What a nice day! Find the nearest park bench and soak in some sunshine. Studies show an increase in focus, memory, and psychological health just from being outdoors. Feel the breeze. Hear the leaves rustle.

Experiencing the “now” will make you feel infinitely more connected to the universe. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. Being in the same environment day after day wears you down. Change it up. Soak in the rays.

Day 6: Donate.

Be honest with yourself; you’re pretty lucky. You are probably in good health, have a job, and eat three meals a day. In some countries that’s living like royalty. Why not give yourself the warm-and-fuzzies and give back?

Find a cause that interests you and give a dollar. A drop in the bucket for you could be a game changer for someone else. When life gives you lemons, give someone else your lemonade. Capisce?

Day 7: Ignore the clocks.

What time is it? Who cares. Time is of the essence. Can you imagine how stressed out cavemen would have been if they had set deadlines? Must bring food to camp by noon. Must gather nuts and berries by three. Must cook meat by five. Must invent Guitar Hero before Krom.

You’re doing the same thing to your day on a macro level without even realizing it. Go an entire day without setting a deadline. Do everything in your power to ignore what time it is. This is probably best done on a Sunday. You have an entire day to do what you will. Take the pressure off!

Easy, right? I thought so. You’ve done more this week than most people do in an entire year. You donated, exercised, made people smile, and got plenty of fresh air. Way to go, champ! You get a cookie.

Try and work some of these principles into your daily routine. I try and “tech-cleanse” at least once a month, eat lunch outside at least once a week, and give a compliment at least once a day.

If you can think of anything else, post it in the comments. Otherwise, thanks for reading! Way to take the initiative, soldier. Until next time, keep on keepin’ on.

Photo by Jon Shave

April 4, 2010
How to Release the Fear of Failing: 20 Inspiring Definitions for Failure

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

You didn’t get the job. You couldn’t raise the money. You missed the deadline. You hired the wrong person.

You didn’t ask for help. You let someone you love down. You failed to plan in advance. You bit off more than you could chew. You forgot something important.

Worst of all, whatever the case, you set the stage for a million questions about what it means and what you should have done.

When you don’t do something you wanted to do, oftentimes your disappointment has less to do with the results you failed to create and everything to do with your interpretation of what that failure means. That you’re not talented enough. Or competent enough. Or confident enough. Or good enough in general.

The only way to change your reaction to failure is to challenge the beliefs that create it—those ideas about what failure means. And the best way to change those beliefs is to change the thoughts that shape them. (more…)

April 1, 2010