Posts tagged with “Change”
We Are Both Darkness and Light: How to Reconcile Them and Grow
āWe have to bear our own toxicity. Only by facing our own shadows can we eventually become more light. Yes, you are kind. But youāre also cruel.Ā You are thoughtful. But youāre also selfish. You are both light and shadow. I want authenticity. I want real. I claim both my light and my shadow.ā ~Kerry Mangis
Many of us can recall the painful moments that have shaped us. As we grow older, we become intimately aware of all the ways we were hurt, wronged, or betrayed. I think itās a natural impulse, to number these moments …
Change Made Easy: How to Get Unstuck by Doing What Youāre Already Doing
āDonāt wait for your feelings to change to take action. Take action and your feelings will change.ā ~Barbara Baron
You are stuck because you are waiting to want to do the things you know you need to do to get better. You arenāt doing the things you know you need to do because you donāt want to feel bad, but you already feel bad. You are already doing what you donāt want to do. Why not choose to do something that you donāt want to do that will actually move you forward?
If you are waiting to want to do …
Unbecoming the Old Me: How Iām Finally Discovering That Life Can Be Fun
āThe definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.ā ~Albert Einstein
I woke up one morning and realized that I had no idea who I was. I realized that over the past thirty-something years I had been everyone but myself.
I was like a chameleon molding into the people that surrounded me. Not wanting to make noise or cause disturbance to others or trigger my own inner wounds.
My goal was being whoever I thought the person around me wanted me to be. To be accepted, loved, and liked by others. I realize …
9 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self to Help Her Change Her Life
āYou are one decision away from a completely different life.ā ~Mel Robbins
At twenty-six years old, I lost my dad to suicide. I was heartbroken and so angry.
My dad was not the best. Ever since I was little, he would criticize everything I did. I was never good enough for him, and I was a place he discharged his anger through emotional insults.
It never stopped, and I was always on high alert around him. Right until the moment he took his life.
He could also be loving, kind, funny, and warm, but my nervous system could never …
How to Show Up When Nothing About Your Life Is Perfect
āI saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect, and I loved you even more.ā ~Angelita Lim
Iām not a perfect parent. Iām not a perfect partner. Iām not in perfect health. Iām not a perfect friend. And Iām far from perfect with my finances.
Hell, nothing about my life is perfect. And guess what? Iāll never be able to attain perfection in those areas. And Iām sorry to say it, but neither will you.
Don’t be fooled by calling yourself a perfectionist. Perfection as a destination is what causes …
Why I Didnāt Trust Myself to Make Decisions (and What If Itās All Okay?)
āTell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?ā ~Mary Oliver
Lately, Iāve been taking time to think about what I actually want. Not what I āshouldā want or what other people want for me.
One thing I have learned is that mistakes happen when you choose not to follow your inner guidance system. The problem is that, for many years, I chose not to listen to mine.
Whenever it screamed and pulled at me, desperate to get my attention (āDonāt purchase a car from that shady car dealership! Donāt go out with …
I Worry Iāll Never Change – Hereās Why I Still Accept Myself
āOur journey is not about changing into the person we want to become. Itās about letting go of all we are not.ā ~Nikki van Schyndel, Becoming Wild
I recently went on personal retreat to once again try to heal my wounds, see my patterns, and find my purpose. I loaded my car with journals from the last two decades and a book of poetry dating back to 1980. I packed my cooler full of nourishing food, but then added a six pack of beer and an expensive bottle of wineācompletely unaware that I was about to sabotage my personal growth …
New Yearās Resolutions Simplified: Itās as Easy as 1, 2, 3
You and I will probably come across a hundred articles about New Yearās resolutions in 2023 ā¦ again. And, if you and I are like the majorityāthe well-intentioned, regular people who genuinely want changeāwe will aspire to big things and later get frustrated and give up on the list we made ā¦ again.
But what if we kept it really simple this time? What if we didnāt have to make an endless list and be reminded, by looking at it, of all the things we may fail at again?
What if we made it as easy as one, two, three?…
The 5 Happiness Zappers and What Helps Me Cope with Them
āEmotion in itself is not unhappiness. Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness.ā ~Eckhart Tolle
When my mother told me, āHoney, you donāt understand; you canāt,ā initially I felt like she was being condescending.
It was Motherās Day and, unbeknownst to me, the last time Iād see her before her final hospital visit.
Weād spent that Saturday updating her computer, watching waves at the beach, and picking up seashells, then eating dinner at a popular local restaurant frequented by travelers, including famous musicians on tour buses because of its location off of the interstate.
By early evening, we were …
Surrendering Isnāt Giving Up: Why We Need to Accept Whatās Happened
āThe first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.ā ~Nathaniel Branden
I remember the last time I saw him before my world crumbled. I held up my hand with the ASL sign for āI love youā through the window to him as he mouthed the words back and got in his car to leave for work. I found out an hour later that heāmy fiancĆ©āhad begun cheating on me a month before he had proposed.
He never fought for me. Even during the course of our relationship, when he would run away due to his insecurities, I …
How Changing My Words Changed My Life for the Better
āOur words create our world.ā ~Rich Litvin
I remember when I was about seven years old, shouting spitefully at my mum, āāI wish you were dead, I hate you!ā Her jaw dropped in disbelief, and I knew my words had hurt her, which made my young heart heavy.
I remember being fourteen years old asking my first crush, āH-h-hey, do you fancy going to the cinema with me this weekend? To my surprise, she said yes, which taught me thereās never any harm in asking for what you want.
Later this year, Iāll be standing proudly next to my beautiful …
What Carrots Are You Chasing, and Are They Worth the Sacrifice?
āNot to arrive at a clear understanding of oneās own values is a tragic waste. You have missed the whole point of what life is for.ā ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I promise this essay isn’t an attempt to convince you that you’re living inside The Matrix. (Okay, maybe it is a bit.)
But do you ever find that days, weeks, or even months have passed that you didn’t feel present for? I describe this odd sensation as feeling like you’re going through the motions like Bill Murray trapped in Groundhog Day.
Every day bleeds into the next because you’re future-focused, and …
A Simple Plan to Overcome Self-Doubt and Do What You Want to Do
“Donāt let others tell you what you canāt do. Don’t let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible.ā ~Roy T. Bennett
Ahh yes, self-doubt. Something that affects every single one of us at different times and at different magnitudesāeven those that seem supremely confident.
Why do so many of us experience self-doubt, and how can we overcome it?
On a personal note, I can tell you my self-doubt comes any time I am trying something new. Iāve learned over the years …
When You’re Ready for Change: You Need to Believe in Your Future Self
āGrowth is uncomfortable because youāve never been here before. Youāve never seen this version of you. So give yourself a little grace and breathe through it.ā ~Kristin Lohr
I was kinda sorta showing up.
To the outside world, it looked like I was doing all of the things. I was smiling. I was talking about exercise and eating well. I was posting happy, positive vibe quotes, but I wasnāt really showing up for myself.
I had experienced a miscarriage at thirteen weeks. This was supposed to be the safe zone. I had told family and friends. My husband and I …
Confessions of an Extrovert: Why I Now Love My Alone Time
āAllow yourself to grow and change. Your future self is waiting.ā -Unknown
Not to be dramatic, but I really mean it when I say that solitude changed my life. I am an extrovert who loves humans, socializing, and learning from people and experiences. Iāve always enjoyed being around others, and donāt get me wrong, I still thrive this way. But when I got Covid in 2021, life completely changed, and itās not the only way I thrive now.
Before Covid, Iād been living my life in a way that wasnāt serving me. I was partying a lot, not eating …
How I Lighten My Mood by Making a Bargain with the Universe
āPain is what the world does to you; suffering is what you do yourself.ā ~Gautama Buddha
I donāt expect things to be a steady state of bliss.
In fact, I agree with the Buddha that suffering is pretty much part of the human condition. Our expectations just get in the way of our experiences. Iām talking about your garden-variety suffering here, not the kind that comes with traumatic events that take you out at the knees or devastating clinical depression.
I see the now-and-then emergence of lethargy or melancholy as part of the whole emotional spectrum. And, like stepping in …
Our Creative Genius Shows Us Possibilities the Rational Mind Canāt See
āThere are moments in our lives, there are moments in a day, when we seem to see beyond the usual. Such are the moments of our greatest happiness. Such are the moments of our greatest wisdom.āĀ ~Robert Henri, The Art Spirit
In my twenties, I worked for a Fortune 500 company at 401 North Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago. It was fun to work in the city, and my office overlooked Lake MichiganāI never got tired of the stunning view. Weekends were spent with friends eating at unique ethnic restaurants and visiting comedy clubs, blues bars, art galleries, museums, and …
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